Ducky's Note: If the title is lost on you, you have probably missed the greatest sensation that was ever generated this side of the Arabian Sea. Even that side of the Atlantic has heard of it.

As much comedy as the John-Terry-on-cigarette-packet incident has afforded to all of us, there are two factual inconsistencies in the whole episode.

Muamba: Football world brought together in hope of a full recovery

The sight of the prone figure of Fabrice Muamba on the White Hart Lane pitch early on Saturday evening was one that shocked football to the extent that Real Madrid players sported wording on their match shirts wishing him a full recovery the following evening.

It's Offbeat Wednesday (OW!) again where we bring you the Weird, Wacky and Wonderful Women of Football. This week, Sara Carbonero is inspired to to reduce sexism in the industry, Irina Shayk attends fashion events, Lionel Messi's other half visits Barcelona's Gaudi museum and Brazil's Ronaldo crushes divorce rumours.

By Chris Wright

While his club are urging him to, there is still a fair old wodge of uncertainty as to whether Anton Ferdinand will shake John Terry's hand before QPR's FA Cup tie against Chelsea at Loftus Road on Saturday.

As you will be all-too-well aware by now, Terry is due to attend a hearing at West London magistrates court four days after the match on charges of racially abusing Ferdinand after referring to the QPR centre-half as a 'farting black klutz' or something similar when the two sides met in the Premier League back on October 23rd of last year.

The great red card debate reared its ugly head once more yesterday as Stoke City manager Tony Pulis announced that his players will not be wearing studs for the rest of the season. For the second time this month Pulis has been left fuming at one of his players being dismissed for ‘raising his studs' [.

Their Words "Elite football is about results and winning. There is no one better at it than him." FIFA president Sepp Blatter, while presenting Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson with the FIFA Presidential Award. Other Sources An American Loaner in Everton - from The Wall Street Journal's Gabriele Marcotti: It worked.

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has been given the FIFA presidential award for services to football. The United manager was presented with the award by FIFA president Sepp Blatter at the FIFA Ballon d'Or gala in Zurich.

Talking about SAF, Blatter said:

"Elite football is all about results and winning and there is no one better at it than him.

By Chris Wright

In which Sepp Blatter comes down with some sort of hideous convulsive palsy shakes his 'waka waka' for Shakira at the FIFA Ballon d'Or gala dinner...

Dignified. As ever.

Video: 101GG

Much of the top o'the headlines furor due to the Luis Suarez and John Terry racism issues has seemingly boiled over, the print now focusing on the Andy Carroll rubbishness issues which have been brought to light through Luis' siesta, but it's now at least time for a solid wrap on the situation.

On Thursday, world soccer's governing body released the following statement after more than 70 soccer fans were killed following the Al-Ahly - Al-Masry Egyptian Premier League game on Wednesday, February 2nd. FIFA is deeply saddened by the tragic incidents which led to the death of football fans and others at last night's match in Port Said.

Mohamed Abou-treika whose accomplishments as a humanitarian are as luminous as his accomplishments on the soccer pitch announced his retirement from his beloved Al Ahly club. He was joined by fellow icons Emad Moteab and Mohamed Barakat, all stalwarts of the club as they made their announcement on Ahly TV.

Batman without the bat signal. Superman sans the cape. Mr. Clean without that rough and tumble earring. Every hero needs an icon. And justice, a diffuse concept that is not easily grasped by materialistic minds, needs a hero. Always. Since the start of time; 'til the end of time.

UEFA's Financial Fair Play is no different.

By "The Other 87 Minutes" / Senior Unemployed English Major Correspondents
What if the Champions League final were treated with the same reverence as the Super Bowl... Here are ten phenomena guaranteed to occur.
Commercials:
1.

A week after deadly clashes at the end of an Egyptian league match between Ahl-Masry and Al-Ahli turned tragic when Al-Ahli fans were attacked and killed by Masry supporters, football's world governing body FIFA has responded by donating over $250,000 to families of those affected by the violence.

As much as you'd hate to admit, Chicharito has been spending more time chomping AMAZING burritos down at your local Three Amigos store than the Trafford training ground as of late. But 20 goals in the first season of a top-flight football campaign is still a miracle compared to what some "strikers" can pull off.

Murder in Port Said The day a revolution turned cold is a post from: Just Football

Just days after the one year anniversary of the revolution, Egyptian football was plunged into despair by the tragic events in Port Said. Adam Mostafa reports on events that shook the game. The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of Just Football.

There's Only One Gary Speed

Last week during the flurry of matches that will give Sepp Blatter and his friends millions to spend on cars and an infinite supply of botox international fixtures, one match that seemed rather plain, at least compared to Germany vs. France, was Wales vs.

So midway during Manchester City's 0-1 loss to Swansea yesterday, Kun Aguero received a revelation. "Aaah si, so THIS is what second place feels like," he said to himself on the bench, probably going so far as to compare it to his mate Carlos Tevez's cooking.

STARTERS
INCREDIBLE! The Telegraph with an article on the Chairman of the English Premier League at a sports conference in Doha has said that FIFA stole football from the English and ruined it. A little later he fell into a fountain face first in his suit! In am not making this up!

Over the years, Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has done his fair share of complaining over international fixtures. This is mainly because many players are injured while playing for their countries and return to their clubs on crutches. You can't really blame him, but he also says young players need to gain experience and what better way to do so than playing in major football tournaments.

The plans for an official hotline that will allow whistleblowers to report match-fixing to FIFA is also being proposed to allow reports of corruption among FIFA executives, as well. With enough corruption and bribery accusations to fill a timeline last year, the fact that this proposal now being pushed isn't a surprise.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger has urged The Football Association to introduce the video replay technology in the Barclays Premier League so that the accuracy of referees' decisions could be improved.

Last weekend, Chelsea's two offside goals were wrongfully allowed to stand and then Manchester United were denied a clear penalty kick in their midweek loss to Wigan Athletic.

It's the Tuesday before a weekend off, and we all know what that means: news is sloooooooooooow. This week especially I'll probably be drawing heavily on news from outside Foxboro and New England just to fill the Rounds and make sure you guys stay captivated and informed. In other news, today's my birthday!

FIFA announced plans to use $196 million (of their $1.2 billion cash reserve) to build an underground football museum as an extension of their Zurich headquarters. Why won't it be above ground? Mostly because that wouldn't be evil enough. The museum will include "'3D animations, interactive games, trophies.

Richard Scudamore: "This [the Premier League] is what you get when you welcome in inward investment. Any other industry would be welcoming that inward investment. We should welcome it with open arms."
Being psychopathically inclined, Mr Scudamore does not get integrity...
... inward investment is not the issue, it is the sources of that investment that has ruined what he beautifully calls "his product".

Bocciato in matematica? No, semplicemente laurea onoris causa in scienze delle comunicazioni.

Il nipote di Čestmír Vycpálek, da anni ha capito come la stampa sia importante e come la stessa vada stuzzicata affinchè dia risalto mediatico e costruisca un personaggio.

Zeman non è uno sprovveduto e come allenatore è pure bravo, se non fosse per quelle sue squadre costruite a trazione anteriore, che dimenticano spesso di costruire la giusta equilibratura nell'assetto difensivo.

In yet another rant of 'I didn't like who won the CL finals', Sepp Blatter is asking Beckenbauer to look into an alternative to the penalty shootout finish. Many of you may remember the abortive attempts of FIFA to have the 'golden goal' rule applied and the many games that kept going and going because someone had to win, and damned be the player's health.

Late last night a solemn Michel Platini made the shock announcement that Euro 2012 has been cancelled. The UEFA President has yet to officially state why the Championships have stalled. Complaints about Ukraine's human rights record appear to be the likely answer, although Platini a closet Norwich fan was overheard weeping upon the discovery of [.