Get to know the Qatari skyline, I suspect you'll be seeing it a lot of it in 2022.
So I head out to the Other Banks for a bit of R&R and I return to find a world where something positive (and even lucky) happened in Washington sports and where England now views its World Cup bid as a smoldering pile of metal.

By Ollie Irish

Who the hell is that scything down C-Ron? The clues are there.

Previous answer: Twas oft-forgotten Chelsea striker Chris Sutton disguised as Sepp Blatter. For once, no one got it right. I win! The proof:

This just in: Modern football logos are rubbish.
What do you think then? I reckon it looks like Sepp Blatter with his head in hands - already. Come on Brazil you can do better than that. Take a leaf out of our book. Have you seen the 2012 logo for the Olympics, oh.
- feel free to comment below -

At 3:37pm on Thursday, 2nd December 2010, it was announced by Fifa president Sepp Blatter that Russia will be the host nation for the 2018 World Cup.

Ater tireless preparation by some of England's most prestigious faces that includes the likes of Prince William, PM David Cameron, David Beckham, Alan Shearer and Gary Lineker, our bid was subsequently eliminated in the first round of voting.

Russia, Qatar and the World Cup sponsors seeking out new markets are the obvious beneficiaries of Fifa's decision to steer the global soccer juggernaut firmly into new territories. But Blatter's buddies have spawned a host of less obvious marketing winners...and more than a few losers...

When FIFA voted to hold the 2022 World Cup in Qatar, it was promoted as "bringing football to a new world and a new culture" as well as bringing the World Cup to the "entire Middle East." And now, it seems that sentiment might be taken quite literally by the game's governing bodies as the 2022 World Cup in Qatar may very well change the way have ever held the tournament before.

With 12 days left until football's master showpiece event kicks-off in South Africa, FIFA's initial fears of empty stadium-shots being beamed worldwide seem to be a thing of the past.

FIFA president Joseph S. Blatter could not contain his excitement at the prospect of his long held dream finally becoming a reality.

James
Johnson Terry Upson ACole
Milner Lampard Barry Gerrard
Defoe Rooney
Neuer
Lahm Friedrich Mertesacker Boateng
Khedira Schweinsteiger
Müller Özil Podolski
Klose
Goals:
Klose 20'
Podloski 33'
Upson 37'
Müller 67' 70'
Isn't football fun?

Well that's enough to ruin anyone's faith in the future of society, isn't it?

The man who's been the butt of every punchline imaginable, who can't find the light from accusations of rampant corruption, and who's never thought twice to say something unthinkably idiotic, is one of the world's most powerful people.

By Ollie Irish

"Who is this buffoon?"

"Er, I'm the Prime Minister, Sepp."

FIFA dictator Sepp Blatter has described the English as "bad losers" over the fall-out from their failed 2018 World Cup bid.

"To be honest, I was surprised by all the English complaining after the defeat.

The World Cup is less than six months away and organizers are running into a bit of a problem. What happens if nobody shows up?

There are two reasons for the slow sales of World Cup tickets: safety and price

Sepp Blatter and FIFA insist that South Africa's violent crime rate is not a problem.

In Brazil they are inventing different ways to perform the paradinha, literally "the little stop", an unexpected pause just before a penalty is struck that throws goalkeepers out of position with dramatic results. Street style soccer showboating. The paradinha has a long tradition in Brazil first brought to prominence by Pele and continued down the years in the Brazilian league.

Almost five years after the Soca Warriors secured qualification to the 2006 World Cup, 13 of their players are still owed money by Jack Warner, the powerful president of the T&T football federation.

He is a kingmaker when it comes to keeping Sepp Blatter in power or awarding the World Cup.

Blonde bombshell As practical jokes go, whoever mocked up the invitation from Sepp Blatter to Rigobert Song claiming that the 2010 World Cup was Abel Xavier-themed fancy dress did pretty well. In fact, the veteran defender is supposed to look like the Indomitable Lion from Cameroon's crest, apparently.

La copa del mundo Sudafrica 2010 nos trajo de nuevo la polemica tecnologica a la palestra en cuanto a las fallas arbitrales.
Sendos y groseros errores como los de Inglaterra vs Alemania y Argentina contra México entre otros mas, llamaron la atención y por primera vez en mucho tiempo Josep Blatter hasta pidió disculpas.

Jermaine Jones has never been afraid of a bit of controversy. In 2004, he took a fairly softball question, "Are there any gay footballers in the Bundesliga?" (Easy answer: I don't know) and turned it into a major story when he answered "Hopefully not". Classy. He's also somewhat infamous for his relationship, or lack thereof, with the fans of his former club, Eintracht Frankfurt, where he announced he was leaving with a post on the club's bulletin board.

Rusia organizará el Mundial del 2018 y Qatar el del 2022

ZÚRICH, Suiza Terminó la espera y se cumplieron los pronósticos de los que se venían hablando en los últimos días. Rusia organizará el Mundial del 2018 y Qatar el del 2022.

Así vivimos la jornada minuto a minuto.

It's clear the best bid on paper will never win. And nor should it.

But why did England do so badly and how can they guarantee they host the World Cup in 2026?

England's one additional vote is the embarrassing equivalent of 'Nil Point' at Eurovision. Yes, our bid was reduced to the level of Jemini.

This is why I hate FIFA, bureaucrats, and politics in sports.
No, change that. I hate this man.
Jerome Champagne, a rival of Blatter within FIFA's ranks, was forced out after it was revealed he challenged Blatter over his role as director of international relations.

Finally, after an eventful January, I've got some answers to the big questions for this year of African soccer. Was Angola 2010 a success or a failure? Yes. Will the World Cup in South Africa be a success or a failure? Yes.

Let me try to explain.

I was hoping this week I could write something about the games at the African Cup of Nations, or something for fans caught up in a wave of enthusiasm for the coming World Cup.

By AVI CREDITOR

Landon Donovan has won over everyone from Everton's manager to teammates to the UK media since his loan spell in England began early last month.

Now he has won over Everton's fans as well.

Donovan was named Everton's Player of the Month, an award voted on by the Toffees' supporters.

We've ragged on FIFA and Sepp Blatter for years, but it isn't a minor rule change (like instant replay) or a comment about Cristiano Ronaldo made in poor taste this time - it's the greatest event in the world we are talking about - and FIFA is doing its best to make it more difficult for us to enjoy ourselves as we prepare for this June's showcase event in South Africa.

We should've learned by now. It's really our own fault. Yet it's hard to click on the monthly FIFA standings and frantically look around like someone's playing a joke. Which would explain why Sepp Blatter is sitting over there in a Richard Nixon mask. (How'd he get in here?)

Three teams in the top fifteen aren't even going to the World Cup, including Croatia, one of the great disappointments, at ninth.

Wrapping up World Cup 2010 preview-cum-"The Wire."Here's Part I and Part II.* * *"I love the first day, man. Everybody all friendly and shit." -- NamonAt least for the first week or so, or until another star players is taken out by injury, South Africa will be the story of the tournament.The reporting should be all over the place.

Today showed why England have not won a World Cup since '66. It also shows the national team needs to enter a new era, today.

Gerrard, Lampard, Terry, Heskey, Ferdinand, Barry... They have all had chances and failed miserably. You thought they could get no worse than not even qualifying for the Euro's in 2008, but they have.

What's the frequency, Sepp?

Sepp Blatter after apologizing to England and Mexico for those ghastly refereeing errors said that only goal line technology will be put back on the table for "discussion."

Cardiff is hosting a conference on FIFA rule making from July 21 to 22nd.

It's a room that gives birth to conflicts in your mind. As soon as you enter the chamber and see the garishly purple walls, the crudely drawn stick figures on those walls, balloon shaped and magic wand shaped cut-outs, you immediately think: Ten year olds playroom. But that's when the conflict starts.

The important thing when getting knocked out of the World Cup is not to overreact. It's not the end of the world. It's just the end of your tournament. So you dust yourself off, get ready to start again and prepare to do better in the next tournament. Goodluck Jonathan disagrees.

The Nigerian President was apparently so disappointed with the Super Eagles' World Cup performance (finishing bottom of Group B) that he's suspended the team from international competition for two years.

Michael Williams

Ok, that's it, enough is enough. Sepp Blatter, and his FIFA henchmen, need to get off their penny-farthings and enter the twenty first century.

Frank Lampard's disallowed goal against Germany on Sunday was the perfect opportunity for Blatter and co.

Well, friends, brace yourselves for a few more days of cliched musical montages and mindless platitudes as such cultural experts as Alan Shearer and Andy Townsend tell us what the World Cup has meant to Africa.
Don't let FIFA off the hook though.
Stefan Szymanski writes in the New Statesman about how Blatter and Co ensure they are always the World Cup's biggest winners:
There is no doubt that the World Cup has been a joyous party for those lucky enough to attend.

Lampard's shot, Tevez's offside goal, Luis Suarez's 'Hand of Sod'. For those who believe football's rules are in need of an overhaul then this World Cup has provided plenty of ammunition to take to FIFA's headquarters in Zürich. A game that promotes incompetence from officials (Lampard, Tevez) or encourages the use of cheating (Suarez) would seem ripe for overhaul and rugby would appear to offer the most immediate solutions.

By Ollie Irish

Somehow, dismal England have risen a place in the FIFA world rankings up to seventh despite their abject performance in South Africa last month, which resulted in Capello's lads being ranked 13th of the 32 teams at the World Cup England's worst ever WC campaign.

Van Gaal has slammed FIFA big wig and famed old git Sepp Blatter over his refusal to endorse technology in football matches.

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Benny Feilhaber = the USA-Mexico rivalry, the dude choking him = CONCACAF

While not officially official, word on the street is that CONCACAF is set to approve a complete re-structuring of its World Cup qualifying competition. This may not seem like that big of a deal (the USMNT hasn't failed to qualify for a World Cup since 1986 after all), until you get to the little part about the US and Mexico never playing each other under the new format.

FIFA has released its World Cup 2010 Technical Report in the form of a 9.28 megabyte pdf document. Which might sound impressive, but only if you haven't read it. Because this thing is 289 pages of fluff, in four different languages.

The document basically contains a lot of pictures, a lot of over-simplifications, and a lot of glossing over hard truths.

Under normal circumstances, I don't usually pay much attention to the press releases that emanate from FIFA Headquarters in Switzerland, mainly because a lot of it reminds me of how our politicians talk these days. It usually sounds good at first but once the fancy wrapping is stripped off, it usually has no substance.

The 2018-2022 bidding process has had an industrial-strength spanner thrown in its works over the last few days, with the "allegations" (read gotchas) against two members of the FIFA ExCo. One can assume that the more canny members of FIFA's elite club would have been a little more circumspect in their comments in the company of people they didn't know.

FIFA are on the defensive again today, after yet another tidal wave of allegations concerning the corruption of their World Cup bidding system broke across their bow yesterday afternoon.

Football's governing body have vowed to look into fresh claims made by Michel Zen-Ruffinen in yesterday's Sunday Times, wherein their former secretary-general seemed adamant that he could identify numerous executive committee members that were open to selling their votes for both money and/or women.

FIFA wrapped up their planned Executive Committee meetings today with a press conference in Zurich, where it was announced that the December 2 vote on World Cup bids for 2018 and 2022 would go ahead as scheduled. Despite a barrage of questions as to the fairness of the vote, and though he admitted that combining the voting on 2018 and 2022 was a mistake in retrospect, Sepp Blatter and FIFA did little to assuage fears of corruption.