Image via Zimbio.

A: From the looks of it...about six.

Obviously, the Dutch national team� know that sharing is caring. We have to agree with this sentiment. Except when it comes to M&S Percy Pigs. We'll cut a bitch over those.

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Image via Zimbio.

A: From the looks of it...about six.

Obviously, the Dutch national team� know that sharing is caring. We have to agree with this sentiment. Except when it comes to M&S Percy Pigs. We'll cut a bitch over those.

Click to continue reading...

Big weekend with lots of playoff implications. First up, us and New England. Basically, nobody expects us to win this game, not even me. Everyone on the team has spent the week bitching about having to fly to Boston - never mind that they already played us in Seattle. So you know our heads are in the right places. Click to continue reading...

-- First off, down in Brazil, Fluminense players need a police escort for protection from their own fans. Rabid fans attacked the team bus after a loss left the team in last place. Relegation is a bitch.
-- Some Bolivian player tested positive for the steroid dexamethazone after a World Cup qualifier. Click to continue reading...

Right, it's time to start making this place fun and interesting again *cough*. So, without further ado, a brand new CUAS series....
Cheer Up Alan Shearer's Top 10 TV Football Moments
10. Delia Has Too Many Gins
Ah, Delia Smith. She's the UK's best selling cookery author, you know, having shifted a whopping eighteen million units. Click to continue reading...

It's been a crazy pre-season and we're only days away from the launch of the new Premier League season. I was hoping to have had a new version of the site up today, but it's proving to be a bigger bitch that Arjen Robben when you don't pass the ball ... Click to continue reading...

What shall we talk about today? The weather and how it's a bitch? There have been two torrential downpours today, one when I was on my way to work and another when I was on my way home. In between, glorious sunshine in a baking office with no air conditioning. I need to win the lottery and I need to win it soon.

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The Archerites are at it again. This time Aaron Stollar makes some wild generalizations about Canadian soccer fans based on the 24thminute's commentary on MLS' lacklustre participation in the CONCACAF Champions League and the plebes go wild (check the comment section).
Read the offending post. Click to continue reading...

Yes indeed, as you all may know, it's not often I give credit to that part of a man's anatomy. Perhaps it's delirium brought on by yet another migraine - but hey, at least I got to go home from work, all I had to do was suffer excruciating pain and uncontrollable vomiting. Yummy.

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Good morning all, and I suppose I should start with the only real Arsenal news there is around, and that is our draw against Celtic in the Champions League final qualifier. Given the amount of people on Twitter claiming we would get Celtic (or Celtic fans saying they'd get Arsenal) prior to the draw I'm gonna say that the whole thing is a fix.

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Andrei Arshavin scored two goals off the bench in Arsenal's win over Atletico Madrid in the Emirates Cup on Saturday (which produced the spectacularly disturbing sex face pictured above), proving just how nicely he's settled into life with the club.

And it sounds like he's even getting used to life in England, as well.

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Burrito once suggest to Miami FC staff to bring back the Taco Bell chihuahua and put her on the Miami FC jersey, pero they all laugh at Burrito.
Si, Burrito know this not futbol related, pero for this once Burrito want to give eulogy for this wonderful chihuahua that give burrito so much joy and pleasant night time satisfaction after burrito go to concerts and fiestas. Click to continue reading...

We're at that time of the year again where everyone's getting married and talking about their childhood dreams (all of a sudden), because well, you know you can't say shizzle like "We'll try our best to score today" or "It's an empoooordand game fur us.

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Ex-ref and now TV commentator Oscar Roberto Godoi forgot his mic was on in the final momentos of Copa do Brasil. When goalie Felipe froom Corinthians grabbed the ball and fell, Godoi uttered the already classic phrase: "can't lay down, son of bitch, or [the ref] will have to fuckin add more time[to the stoppage time]".

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Frank Lampard is still on holiday in Las Vegas.

It's been longer than 48 hours. In fact, it's been a week.

We didn't think it was possible to "do" Vegas for that long without dying of alcohol poisoning or catching something that requires a prescription. But it would seem Lampsy is in his element: sun, poolside drinks and skanky chicas as far as the eye can see.

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Frank Lampard is still on holiday in Las Vegas.

It's been longer than 48 hours. In fact, it's been a week.

We didn't think it was possible to "do" Vegas for that long without dying of alcohol poisoning or catching something that requires a prescription. But it would seem Lampsy is in his element: sun, poolside drinks and skanky chicas as far as the eye can see.

Click to continue reading...

Giuseppe Rossi.
The modern day Benedict Arnold of American football?

Born in New Jeresy to Italian immigrants. He shunned US Football, playing for Italy from the U-16 to U-21 level before ultimatley declining an offer from Bruce Arena in 2006 to join the US Men's National Team. Click to continue reading...

[We apologize for the terrible server downtime earlier on. We're going to send our current hosting providers to Manchester City very soon so everything will get better in the next few days!]

Anyway, our boys have arrived in South Africa!

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More gym work in day six of the selecao boot camp. Robinho looks like he's really enjoying himself through his teeth. Someone help the man! Also, Felipe Melo doesn't like it when you stare (see photos) - so please don't or he'll throw a major bitch stare which is um pouco sexy actually - ha!

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For those who paid attention, the UEFA Cup final was last night (or the night before)... you know, the uglier less attractive 1st cousin of the Champions League; And against all the odds, Shakhtar Donetsk pinched the trophy away from favourites Werder Bremen with a late, late, why do I torture myself with these matches, winner scored by Jadson! Click to continue reading...

Don your party hat and ready your flag, tomorrow is the traditional May 16th round of the Tippeliga and we're all going to party like Steffen Iversen on a weeknight.�

�

Vålerenga (8th) - Fredrikstad (6th)

According to polls on the� Dagbladet website, Vålerenga have both the best and the worst fans in the country, neatly illustrating the problem with such polls.

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Don your party hat and ready your flag, tomorrow is the traditional May 16th round of the Tippeliga and we're all going to party like Steffen Iversen on a weeknight.�

�

Vålerenga (8th) - Fredrikstad (6th)

According to polls on the� Dagbladet website, Vålerenga have both the best and the worst fans in the country, neatly illustrating the problem with such polls.

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This will be an interesting game for United. There are rumors all over the Internet that after Ronaldo's antics on Sunday that he and Fergie had a huge bust up afterward. I have even read a rumor that Fergie has agreed to sell Ronaldo to Mardrid for 72 Million pounds!!!!! If that happens then United can do what the fans want and resign Tevez for 26 Million and take the rest and go get Frank Ribery(seen on right) who right now could turn into just as good a player without being a bitch of a teammate. Click to continue reading...

Midweek madness in the Tippeliga! While you're waiting for a certain Champions League semi-final to kick off, why not sit back and watch some players who don't make more in a week than you do in a year? It's fun, we promise..

�

Wednesday�

Sandefjord (4th) - Viking (5th)

Have Viking turned a corner ?

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Roy Keane has turned on Mark Hughes and Steve Bruce today, claiming they are not successful managers because they haven't won anything. Whilst both have had disappointing spells in their career, it's hard to argue with what Bruce has achieved with Wigan and Hughes achieved with Blackburn. They haven't had a trophy to their name but between them they've had high league finishes and long runs in cup competitions, all without much to spend!

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Episode 20: "The Bitch is Back"
Host: Scott
Panel: Erik, Zach, Sandra
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That's right...Sandra's back!
The First Lady of Winning Ugly returns from her loan at FC Jim and proves that as good as the show is without her, it's better with her. Click to continue reading...

Episode 20 - "The Bitch is Back" is nearly ready to go and will be unleashed upon the world tomorrow!
The First Lady of Winning Ugly returns from her loan at FC Jim and proves that as good as the show is without her, it's better with her. The panel offers their suggest MLS teams as vacation destinations, pick who we want to get relegated from the Premier League, and the first week of the new MLS season. Click to continue reading...

Say your kid was bitten on the ear by a dog, nearly tearing it off. As a mother would you, a) care for and nurture your son as a good mother should; b) kill that violent canine bitch in a fit of rage; or c) slap a sweatband around it and tell him to go [...] Click to continue reading...

Yes, it's true.  Turdblossom (aka Karl Rove) has spoken out about the excesses of the McCain campaign ads.  To my mind the fact that he would do this publicly speaks, not to any new found sense of decorum or fair play in the doughy sleazeball, but to the fractiousness and internecine warfare within the Republican [. Click to continue reading...