First, he was taking orders from an absurd fanboy owner, and then a witless chicken company. Now, Sam Allardyce answers to a couple of porn kings and a crazy lady. Oh Sam, my dear Sam.

By Darshan Joshi, writing from Sydney

Not often is a man with the nickname ‘Big' belittled, but as news breaks that Sam Allardyce will be taking the reins at Upton Park for the Hammers' impending second-tier campaign, one can't help but wonder why the man seems to have a naughty habit of laying himself bare for his horror owners (of recent times) to have their way with.