There's a story about David Bentley.

I kid, I kid. I'm all out of Bentley stories. I could tell you my epic about Arturo Lupoli, his secret agent dog and his layabout sidekick, but it's all a bit too similar to an episode of Scooby Doo and I need to give it some work.

So, what's going on in the world of Arsenal?

There's a story about David Bentley. When he went to Norwich on loan from Arsenal they were in a training session and he, thinking he was some kind of comedic genius, belted the ball straight up into the air and said 'ave it!', like Peter Kay in that ad for John Smiths. Nobody thought it was funny, least of the all Norwich manager.

You have to fill a 25 man squad with somebody and given the three major loan departures and one permanent sale earlier this week, perhaps it's no surprise at some of the names being included by Spurs this week.

In addition to those departures, Tom Carroll and John Bostock also went out to Derby and Sheffield Wednesday respectively so are David Bentley, Bongani Khumalo and Simon Dawkins literally there to ‘make up the numbers?

Mario Balotelli had a rude awakening when his £120,000 Bentley GT was egged by angry Manchester United fans hours after appearing to stamp on Scott Parker. The controversial Manchester City striker was having dinner at a restaurant in Manchester having just hours earlier netted the winner during City's thrilling 3-2 victory over Tottenham Hotspurs at [.

Love him or hate him, Balotelli is not about to change anytime soon. However coming to think about it, why should he. The Italian striker has no doubt made the English game more entertaining and exciting since joining in the summer of 2010

In fact, his once irritating attitude is actually starting to get people looking forward to his antics every week.

Much of his life would be a fantastic comic book or children's book series on how not to behave as an adult. Which Mario so rarely appears to be.

But today he decided to go to school a random school since he needed to use the bathroom. Of course since it's Balotelli, you know he found one in the faculty room.

By Alan Duffy

The usually "too cool for school" Man City star Mario Balotelli was grateful to make use of the local educational facilities of a Manchester school on Thursday lunhctime, after the superstar was left in desperate need of a wee-wee.

Yep, it's another zany Mario Balotelli story. This time everyone's favourite eccentric Italian striker has called into a school to empty his bladder. The Manchester City man made an impromptu visit to Xaverian College in Manchester at around 1.30pm this afternoon. He parked his white Bentley on the 1,800-pupil school's car park before walking inside [.

It's been an unhappy stay at Aston Villa for Jermaine Jenas and after waiting to make his debut for the Midlands side, news has been confirmed that he is likely to out for the rest of the season.

The announcement on Tottenham's official club website reads,

‘Jermaine Jenas has undergone surgery to his left Achilles tendon and is likely to miss the rest of the season, but should return for the start of pre-season.

It may be time to review some of the informal rules that govern the weighty Designated Player decisions in Major League Soccer.

Check that. It's time to review some of the informal rules that should govern the weighty Designated Player decisions in Major League Soccer.

Before entering hospital for his minor heart surgery, Spurs manager Harry Redknapp revealed that West Ham were keen on taking Jake Livermore across London as part of the Scott Parker deal back in August.

With injuries hitting the club at the start of the season, Jake filled in admirably and although his appearances since have been restricted to the Europa League, he is certainly one for the future.

Oh Mario, you are a character aren't you? Whether it's throwing darts at youth team players or speeding in your Maserati, picking up countless tickets and fines along the way, it's setting off fireworks in your own house, sneaking into a women's prison due to ‘curiosity' or even proving to be the good samaritan, aiding a bullied child who was at a Manchester City training session when he should have been at school.

Oh Mario, you are a character aren't you? Whether it's throwing darts at youth team players or speeding in your Maserati, picking up countless tickets and fines along the way, it's setting off fireworks in your own house, sneaking into a women's prison due to ‘curiosity' or even proving to be the good samaritan, aiding a bullied child who was at a Manchester City training session when he should have been at school.

By Chris Wright

Mere hours after some kind of sick swan ran amok at Old Trafford, a rather glum-looking Wayne Rooney celebrated his 26th birthday at Wings restaurant in Manchester with guests including friends, relatives, colleagues and several of the chaps that had just tarred and feathered his arse in the Manchester derby namely Joe Hart and Gareth Barry.

Why 'new Becks' Bentley is battling to save his career

I really fear for my mate David Bentley after hearing about the knee surgery which has ruled him out for another six months. It seems like only yesterday that he was being hailed as the new David Beckham after scoring a sensational hat-trick for Blackburn as we beat Manchester United 4-3 at Ewood.

For our Monday profile this week, we follow previous studies of the likes of Joey Barton and Pascal Chimbonda with another man whom our 2006 selves might express surprise would be plying his trade in the Football League come the second decade of the millennium. David Bentley's decidedly up and down fortunes are pondered upon by Olly Cooper.

Another Monday morning and off to work for many faced with the negative banter that an Arsenal defeat brings. But worse, not just any defeat the Spuds have turned us over, years of disingenuous crowing at our North London neighbours is coming home to roost today. All that "I can't wait to get to work" of previous years, doesn't work so well today does it?

Carroll, Berbatov, Tevez, Bentley and more expensive bench warmers in the modern game

Six of the best expensive bench warmers in the modern game

View the full story here: Talksport

A news article on 2011-09-22 12:06:34 from: Talksport

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Few players have what it takes to make the grade at Arsenal; Henri Lansbury is not of those. Talent alone is not enough to succeed at Arsenal, as JET will unhappily testify. It requires the right attitude as well, a delicate combination of passion, determination, self-belief and patience.

The news that Henri Lansbury has signed a new contract strengthens my belief that he possesses all these qualities.

Few players have what it takes to make the grade at Arsenal; Henri Lansbury is not of those. Talent alone is not enough to succeed at Arsenal, as JET will unhappily testify. It requires the right attitude as well, a delicate combination of passion, determination, self-belief and patience.

The news that Henri Lansbury has signed a new contract strengthens my belief that he possesses all these qualities.

This week's show is the second qualifier for the WUR 2011 Champions League Final. Who will join Ped in the final? Vying for the second spot is Brian "Hollywood" Bentley, Chris Ballard and Amanda. CSRN MEDIA PLAYER

This week's show is the second qualifier for the WUR 2011 Champions League Final. Who will join Ped in the final? Vying for the second spot is Brian "Hollywood" Bentley, Chris Ballard and Amanda. CSRN MEDIA PLAYER

Episode 132: "Flowers for Algernon"2011 Winning Ugly Champions League Qualifier
Host: Scott Bornstein
Panel: Brian Bentley, Amanda, Chris Ballard
DOWNLOAD Episode 13232-Bit (Small File)96-Bit (Large File)
This week's show is the second qualifier for the WUR 2011 Champions League Final.

After spending a whole transfer window trying to offload fringe players and missing out on key transfer targets due to inflated prices and a lack of squad spaces, Spurs fans must be astonished by comments in Harry Redknapp's latest interview.

"If David wants to come to Tottenham I'd welcome him with open arms, he's definitely still good enough to play in the Premier League"

This statement is a clear indication that there is no relationship between Harry and the board, and further highlights the lack of vision Harry has for the future of our club.

Up until the very last day of the transfer window it had looked as if much of the deadwood was staying at the Lane. However, deals can happen very quickly and Jermaine Jenas and David Bentley will both be lining up in claret and blue this season, and their lack of first team action at Spurs could see both deals becoming permanent.

So the dust has settled on the summer transfer of August 2011 and while it was a busy day at Spurs Lodge, was it a satisfactory one?

Five of our fringe players have left the club, albeit two are on loan with seemingly no future at the Lane and while Harry Redknapp said at the weekend that fresh faces were needed, we only ended up with one – Scott Parker who arrived from West Ham.

'What? Nothing to see here folks. Please keep it moving.'

Joining our ever-growing roster of 'Drunk Off Their Ass' listees is Miss Kimberley Mills, girlfriend of Tottenham's David Bentley. Welcome hon!

Mills (plus her beau and Gareth Barry) were just three of the numerous patrons who had to flee London's Whiskey Mist night club Sunday night after a bloody brawl broke out.

Football Spy video: Transfer Deadline Day special, evening update

Darren Lewis is back with his teatime transfer news update as deadline day heads into the home straight. He's got news on Mikel Arteta, Peter Crouch, Craig Bellamy, David Bentley and Wilson Palacios who could all be at a new club by 11pm tonight.

Tottenham have signed Scott Parker from West Ham for £5m. The England player has been on Tottenham's radar since the start of the summer and it seemed clear at the end of last week that Spurs were going all out to seal this transfer before the end of the window.

Parker will be 31 in October and having just broken through into the England set up, he was determined to force a transfer back to the Premier League, because in case you'd forgotten, West Ham are a Championship side now.

Redknapp doesn't deny interest in Cahill and Cole

Peter Crouch and David Bentley could be on their way out

View the full story here: The Mirror

A news article on 2011-08-31 09:22:58 from: The Mirror

This news item has been reproduced from today's media.

Like the Queen visiting the troops in Helmand in a symbolic gesture to bolster morale, we lilywhites need something to raise spirits, for few amongst us found anything comforting in Monday night's debacle and gloomy faces abound. Timely then that that Hearts are pootling along the High Road to be given the run around tonight, for another gentle, if pointless, five-nil win would be timely.

Like the Queen visiting the troops in Helmand in a symbolic gesture to bolster morale, we lilywhites need something to raise spirits, for few amongst us found anything comforting in Monday night's debacle and gloomy faces abound. Timely then that that Hearts are pootling along the High Road to be given the run around tonight, for another gentle, if pointless, five-nil win would be timely.

By Chris Wright

Taking a leaf straight out of the Stephen Ireland playbook (which is always dangerous at the best of times) Stefan Savic has had his Bentley Continental sprayed Man City blue, though sadly chose to pass on the pink hubcaps...

Tasteful.

We don't claim to know a great deal about cars, but we've seen enough episodes of 'Top Gear' between us to know that you're not supposed to do this to a Bentley.

What on earth could have inspired is this heinous act of vandalism by Manchester City's Stefan Savic, people?

With just over a week to go before the transfer window closes, the papers at the weekend were talking of ten deals in ten days for Spurs before the end of this month.

The reports included the proposed moves for Lassana Diarra and Emmanuel Adebayor which seem to grow closer by the hour and there is talk of one more signing, but most of the focus is on the exit door and Daniel Levy's streamlining of the dead wood.

Episode V of Spurs Wars sees Spurs fight back from 3-1 and 4-2 down against our local rivals at their gaff, in what was Harry Redknapp's first North London Derby in October 2008. What a welcome! The game was memorable for an outstanding David Bentley goal, plus a quality Jermaine Jenas goal, yes I know, in the same game, who would have believed it!

With the lack of transfer activity at Spurs so far, and so much speculation regarding Luka Modric and our pursuit of strikers, it's been difficult to focus on the approaching season and assess how we can improve.

Following our first taste of Champions League football last season, Spurs fans know that this side can compete at a higher level, and obviously everyone's desperate to bring those special nights back to the Lane.

There are lots of rumours this morning that Spurs will be making an official bid for Blackburn Rovers defender Christopher Samba. In fact, some even claim that a bid is already in.

There is, as you would expect, some dispute over the amount involved and whether Tottenham are offering Steve Kean's side any players in return.

While the finances at Spurs don't seem to be an issue, our reluctance to lower asking prices is. You can't sell what people won't buy, so with this in mind, maybe it's time we took a leaf out of the Italian's book and started to think seriously about player swaps.

By adopting this strategy we don't have to spend a fortune on transfer fees, and we don't risk scaring off potential buyers every time we quote a transfer value for one of our players.

You don't have to look too far for a daily dose of nonsense from the Daily Mail and today's story suggests a three player swap for Mirko Vucinic involving David Bentley, Robbie Keane and Niko Kranjcar. It may not surprise anyone to learn that Roma's coach Luis Enrique isn't interested in any of the players involved.