Poor David Beckham. The second he temporarily relocates to Milan for the winter, the United States of America turns on him. First there's actor Mark Wahlberg (of sweary "The Depated" fame) who's not happy with the paparazzi-fest Beckham has brought to his street. "Man, the Beckhams. It used to be so quiet on my road.

With David off in Milan having his golden balls compromised and Victoria Beckham spending more time on planes and in airports than her own home, she's been doing some very uncharacteristic things as of late.

Like wearing flat shoes in public. Regularly. Everyone is talking about it because, well, no one has anything better to do, obviously.

Whether they're jetting around the world for matches or engaging in 'Mine's bigger than yours' vehicular contests, footballers are rarely accused of being environmentally friendly.

However, Nike recently demonstrated that even the must humble of household objects can be utilised in the battle to reverse climate change.

Oh finally, Diego and friends are starting to win... for the love of Ciro and Juve! We were starting to believe that the insults thrown at everyone from Felipe Melo to the boardroom were never going to end. But perhaps Napoli threw them a 3-0 lifeline (ok, in calcio Italia, no one ever throws you a lifeline.

Apparently, Mark Wahlberg hates soccer and David Beckham. He recently stated,"Man, the Beckhams. It used to be so quiet on my road. Then David moves in with his family. Suddenly we've got paparazzi hanging out day and night. Now they'll follow any car that drives down the road...I'm not telling Beckham to take his family home.

As per the Daily Mail, Beckham is prepared to buy a North American football team after his LA Galaxy contract is over in 2011. According to the Mail, the Beckhams are settled in Los Angeles and don't want to move.Beckham will be 36 in 2011. I honestly think he has a couple more years with those legs.

With David off in Milan having his golden balls compromised and Victoria Beckham spending more time on planes and in airports than her own home, she's been doing some very uncharacteristic things as of late.

Like wearing flat shoes in public. Regularly. Everyone is talking about it because, well, no one has anything better to do, obviously.

Yeah, we're not ready for this.

We're actually relieved that we have no chance at being able to afford the photos. (This one is via/copyright Metro.co.uk)

Watching the Toni & John Public Paparazzi-arranged Photo Call of Heavy Petting Show has caused us to reflect on how the Beckhams handled their first public appearance after the Rebecca Loos fiasco.

Yeah, we're not ready for this.

We're actually relieved that we have no chance at being able to afford the photos. (This one is via/copyright Metro.co.uk)

Watching the Toni & John Public Paparazzi-arranged Photo Call of Heavy Petting Show has caused us to reflect on how the Beckhams handled their first public appearance after the Rebecca Loos fiasco.

Whether they're jetting around the world for matches or engaging in 'Mine's bigger than yours' vehicular contests, footballers are rarely accused of being environmentally friendly.

However, Nike recently demonstrated that even the must humble of household objects can be utilised in the battle to reverse climate change.

Not that we needed conclusive evidence that the Beckhams have more money than could ever be necessary, but here is proof that they truly have more than anyone can need: a dude get paid to carry his Posh's bag. Mind you if I had the option I would do the same thing; I love my wife but is it really necessary for me to be holding it down in regard to her purse in the middle of Target?

Images via Hola! magazine, AS.com, Getty Images Europe

Saturday

- The Beckhams treated their trio of boys to the Jonas Brothers' summer tour kick-off concert in Los Angeles. Romeo Beckham (above) demonstrated how to properly wear one summer staple: white sunglasses.

This is why the off-season is dangerous to one's mental health: the brilliant Studs-Up "The Wizard of Coz" comic series based on fancy pink football boots and the havoc they wreak. Warning: contains Nicklas Bendtner as the Wicked Witch of the East, Fernando Torres as Glinda complete with pink.

If you need another reminder that the economy is affecting everyone, look no further than the reports emerging today that David and Victoria Beckham had to fire 14 of their 50 staff members. The layoffs came after a thorough audit by their accountant into their expenses.

Some of the largest cutbacks occurred at their estate in England where the Beckhams let go of their three human statues (they will reportedly be replaced with actual statues) and the immigrant family that the Beckhams' used as furniture.

Image: Daylife/Reuters

What were you doing at eight-years-old, Kickettes? If your answer is innocently playing on swing sets or not-so innocently shaving Barbie's hair into a fetching fawk-hawk, best you go sit on the naughty step. Clearly you've little career motivation.

Phil Bardlsey has spoken of the difficulties of facing the team he supports whilst wearing the shirt of Sunderland.

"I lived on Littleton Road, which was right next door to the training ground," said Bardsley. "In the summer holidays, I would spend all my time standing outside trying to get autographs.

Getting a bit cold in Northern Europe these days, lets warm things up with some tame images of Sylvie. Even with clothes on, she looks a beauty!! Not a lot of gossip coming out of London... The Dutch couple does not seem to be following in the footsteps of the Beckhams... Anyway, here she is...