This is not a test of your blood pressure, dear readers, this is an emergency.
Did you hear the one about Britain's best-known doting daddy, David Beckham, getting his
Goldenballs in gear to create a forthcoming kids clothing line with American rapper Snoop Dogg?
If this gossip holds true, this would be probably the closest case of mental combustion we'll
ever experience outside of watching our brains on drugs.
"Gone."
Victoria Beckham has done two things with that quote (given to Vogue UK in their February
issue):
1) She's admitted to having breast implants (that we already know she had); 2) She admitted to
having them removed earlier this year.
Correct us if we're wrong (it happens from time to time), but Mrs.
Hold on. Should this be made legal? We have trouble concentrating as it is. (Image via theoffside)
It requires dedication, effort and an unshakable belief in one's own convictions to run a
successful election campaign. This is the reason why you will rarely find us involved in one.
However, even the lazy, couture obsessed oafs who inhabit the Kickette office are not impervious
to a relevant cause.
Soz about our slowness these past few days; the Peeps were a callin' and we failed to resist the
temptation of going HAM on our Easter candy baskets.
Saturday
- After her beloved Norwich City's 5-1 victory over arch-rivals Ipswich Town, Sky Sports asked
celebrity chef/author, Delia Smith, to sing the victory track, "Ole, Ole" for at home viewers.
...then Jennifer Lopez would be toast.
In Brooklyn Beckham's case, we simply cannot bestow our fun, photoshopped check mark of approval
since he's far too young to be dating. Seen exiting Boa Steakhouse on Sunday following 'his date',
we're reluctant to find his arm escortation chivalrous for a boy of his age, height and hair
cut.
We wish it was beneath us to publish photos that exploit perspective to leave footballers in
'amusingingly compromised' positions. But we're not. Image via yfrog.
Image Credit: Stuart Wilson/Getty Images Europe.
Our weekends were filled with Iker in tight pants-greatness, thank you for asking. How 'bout
yourselves, Kickettes?
Saturday
- John and Toni Terry attended the 'Fashion for Good' charity event at Brooklands Hotel just
at the beginning of the weekend.
David Beckham & Zara Phillips' campaign to bring the magic of the World Cup to London's 2012
Olympics was the target of a protest yesterday, when a gang of tinnitus deranged football fans
drove over the honorary golden vuvuzela. Seems they made the best of it though, no? Image: Getty
Images/Zimbio
David Beckham: Purveyor of affordable pants for the masses. Images via Getty
The Beckhams and luxury go together like vodka and ice cubes so you can imagine our delighted
surprise at the announcement that David Beckham's new range of bodywear will be sold exclusively at
H&M. Yes, the same H&M that you pop into on a Friday night because you need a dress for your night
out that doesn't cost as much as a mortgage payment and that you can spill all manner of substances
on and really not give a toss.
Seconds after this photo was taken, the kid veered off to the left and was last seen heading
towards the airport. But the thought was there. Image: REUTERS/Cheryl Ravelo.
Click here to view the embedded video.
The best manbits expose themselves around 0:27. First spotted on WAATP.
Objectifying professional sportsmen on lists like our Finest Five can be mentally taxing. In
between offering valid critiques and milling about in a base layer-bored manner for the past 4.
Saturday
- Victoria Beckham got teepeed at her baby shower around the same time as news about her husband
and son, Brookyn, walking away unharmed from their LA freeway car crash broke. She's got her lucky
stars to thank for her family's safety and for Gisele Bündchen wearing one of her dresses.
If all else fails, Cristiano can always be relied upon to provide us with a much needed boost in
the morning. Image: PacificCoastNews.com/Zimbio
How come the weekend seems further away than ever on a Friday morning? Allow us to divert your
attention from the responsibilities of being a grown-up for a few minutes with a some perky stories
from the past week.
First Antonella, now DBecks? Suddenly we understand every man's need to stroke the contours of a
expensive new car.
Dear Kickette Army Loyalists,
Enclosed please find two pieces of photographic evidence for your review: David Beckham working
out his bubble bum from this past weekend; the father of four's post-match scowl + latest ink work
(which is his cuddly newborn daughter's name scrawled across his clavicle).
Images via Rob Kim/Getty Images North America & Style.com
Can Victoria Beckham makes spats happen? Or will they go the way of "fetch?"
Victoria is in New York, where she spoke at the Women's Wear Daily Apparel & Retail CEO Summit
last night. She's the first woman to wear a look from her Spring 2012 collection and in doing so
wore the item that most perplexed us: spats.
Well this is a surprise! David and Victoria Beckham announced today that Victoria is pregnant
with the couple's fourth child. She is due this summer.
Victoria recently told Vogue UK that she thought the chances of her having a little girl were
slim, but "maybe one day". We probably won't know the sex of the baby until she has birthed it, but
obviously we are hoping for a girl.
While snoods have been must have fashion accessory for footballers this season, it seems that
the sudden requirement for throat warmth is not confined to the pitch. Yes people, scarves are the
new manbag, and festooning oneself with varying lengths of woolly or shiny (or in some horrifying
cases, both) material is really catching on over on Planet Baller.
That's the most expensive photo bomber we've ever seen. Images: Bauer Griffin.
Seeing Victoria Beckham at an airport is not uncommon. Seeing her conceal her budding baby bump
as she navigates an airport terminal is somewhat of unchartered waters.
We can hardly believe it, but it'll be a month tomorrow since David and Victoria announced they
were having a fourth.
The Beckhams are having a girl. Iker Casillas is giving unruly bedhead a run for its money. Jack
Rodwell's mobile should be searching for sanitiser. This weekend's gossip lacked clear direction,
but made amends with Olaya Villa's first steps forward.
Saturday
- In case you missed our weekend Retweet, David Beckham told folks at an L.
We we were planning on bringing you a live feed from today's Royal Wedding, but since the
English contingent of the Kickette staff have advised that they're already celebrating by sinking
as much Pimms as is physically possible before passing out in a ditch, our intentions of doing so
have been crushed.
Laid back daddy Francesco took his mini-me and wifey to see the ATP-WTA Rome Open tennis tourney
yesterday. Image Credit: ALBERTO PIZZOLI/AFP/Getty Images.
Oh dear. This picture of heartbreaker-in-the-making Cristian Totti does not bode well for the
current holder of the 'coolest footy kid' crown, Cruz Beckham.
Image Credit: BIG Pictures/KEYSTONE Press.
Normally, when the hearts and hormones of a footballer and a lady align, they can't help keeping
their heavy-petting paws off each other. Unfortunately/fortunately for the general viewing public,
this is sometimes at the expense of any number of recently-consumed catered meals.
Not an entirely wasted week for the Beckham babes either. Mommy tweeted an image of three guitars
that Justin Bieber had signed and sent over for Cruz, Romeo and Brooklyn, all of whom are
reportedly big fans of the Canadian pop hamster. Image via yfrog
GOOD WEEK
Glam Fairies: Congrats to Victoria Beckham and her team, who picked up the
Accessory Designer of the Year gong at the Glamour Awards in London this week.
Does RB's side-eye sneakery indicate a hope we won't notice that the need for cotton candy
surpassed any requirement for putting one's clothing on correctly or combing one's hair this
morning? He needn't have worried. His parentage and usually spot-on fash nous means he earns a bye
into the next round.
Image Source: David Beckham's Facebook page.
Image Credit: David Livingston/Getty Images North America.
I am so proud and excited to announce the birth of our daughter Harper Seven Beckham. She
weighed a healthy 7lbs 10oz and arrived at 7.55 this morning, here in LA. Victoria is doing really
well and her brothers are delighted to have a baby sister xx.
DBecks was spotted on VH1′s DoSomething.org red carpet over the weekend. Image Credit: Getty
Images.
Asking us to 'do something' to David Beckham feels like a trick question.
Probably because it is, but play along as you wish, people.
Image: Kyle Rivas/Getty Images North America.
For those Kickettes who reside outside the United States of America, the celebratory
shenanigans above might imply that Houston Dynamos have just won the World Cup. They haven't, of
course. They're not eligible.
Images: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images North America, Bauer Griffin.
ELLE magazine scored themselves a brace of WAGs to help them finish out the 2011 calendar in top
form. At left, one shot of Cristiano's girlfriend from this month's Spanish version of the famed
glossy, and to her right we have Victoria Beckham, who kicks off the US edition's new year come
January.
'The Good Samaritan'? Well, our thoughts on seeing this photo of West Brom's Peter Odemwingie were
plenty biblical, if that counts... (Getty Images/Zimbio)
We in the Kickette office like the idea of people making an effort to give up their bad habits
and become better people. Such commitment to the ideals of life inspires, and in some small way,
makes us better people too.
Becks and his beard were doing the rounds in Chigwell today he's taken a fitness test at Tottenham
and is expected to train with Spurs until February. He's looking more fertile than usual, no?
It's a subject that occupies many of our waking thoughts. How, when finding ourselves in the
proximity of a handsome young football player, do we attract his attention in a manner that implies
we are deeply attracted to him but not remotely slutty and/or mad?
Well, alright. But we're not slutty.
Images: Facebook; REUTERS/Stefan Wermuth.
No, it's not an original choice for a Monday Mmm, but c'mon, Kickettes: David skipped out on
preseason training with the Galaxy (which started in late January) just to place himself in full
view of the cameras to signal the end of our candlelight vigils for his recent hair crimes.
Now you have had your fill of merriment at our photoshop frolicking, catch up on the best and
worst in the footballing world this week. **
**If you weren't planning to 'Read More' we suggest you rethink your stance. There is a
video after the jump involving Lionel Messi, an airport and a pair of collapsing trousers that any
Kickette worth their salt can't afford to miss.
All images via Style.com
Yesterday, in a brownstone on New York City's Upper East Side Victoria Beckham presented her
Fall 2011 collection and once again she put out a fabulous, stylish, and progressive collection.
She presented colors, silhouettes, and pieces (including some amazing winter coats) that we've
never seen from her before.
Image: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.
As you're probably aware, the daft minds behind this site's scenes are largely responsible for
expanding the bitchtastic facial options available to footballers, heavily researching the paradigm
shifts in short tents and examining what manbags mean to their men (as well as unearthing the
content Cristiano carries around).
David called into Ryan Seacrest's radio show on Tuesday for some alpha male madness and
afternoon tea talk – which reminded us that we haven't properly peeked in on his family affairs
lately.
Initially, it was our choice to leave the pair be, since they were busy not planning for
their-yet-to-be born XX chromosome.
Click here to view the embedded video.
GOOD WEEK
Whacked Out Warm-Up: AC Milan fans were distracted from their programme reading
and pre-match routines (above) by a bunch of actors purporting to be players and arsing
around on the pitch during the 'team' warm-up before the Bari game last weekend.
Images via Facebook/David Beckham.
David Beckham graces the cover of the Spring/Summer issue of the semi-annual men's fashion mag,
Fantastic Man. After seeing these pics we think it's advisable for Fantastic Man
to change its name to Super Smokin' Hot Man.
Has Becks ever looked better?
