Peter Crouch

Doing the Home Alone face every time I yawn is still totally hilarious and not at all played out. ... Also totally hilarious: the fact that I, Peter Crouch, have a hotter lady than David Beckham. ... Then again, I don't have a filthy hobo beard, so maybe that makes sense now.

All the stuff being covered outside the unfriendly confines of the award winning Dirty Tackle...

Goalkeeper gets caught out of position on a bouncy 70-yard shot. [101gg]

Florentino Perez has rules that no one will listen to. [The Spoiler]

A compilation of the most memorable premature write-offs of Davey Becks.

Twenty-four hours ago, Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas was dealing with a severe case of bedhead and day-beard. Not so for his evening out at Boujis after Arsenal's CL win where he obviously went for the clean-shaven look.

Cesc-appreciators: which do you prefer? We like our former F5er a little rough around the edges, so we're voting bedhead.

Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey paid a visit to the Bernabeu to watch the Real Madrid v Tenerife game recently.

Here he is involved in a pose-off with Guti. We suspect they discussed how many open shirt buttons were appropriate before the shot was taken.

Wondering why we didn't lead with the shot of Iker Casillas meeting McDreamy/MacSteamy/whatever his web-moniker is?

When: Today, 5pm
Where: University Field, St Leo
This game is the first half of a Lions-Panthers doubleheader at St Leo today. The men from the two schools will kick off at 7:30pm.
The Lions (3-1-1) have had a long layoff since pounding non-conference Clearwater Christian College 13-0 on September 25th.

Fernando Torres

Trying to sleep like this makes my groin feel like spicy mustard. ... Writing books is easy when you don't actually have to write them. ... International breaks are weird. Mostly because Vicente del Bosque might not be alive anymore. ... I hope no one is robbing my house right now.

Beckham showed up for England looking rather shabby and looked more like he just got out of bed. England won 3-0 and Becks was dubiously named man of the match but it wasn't as interesting as his new beard. So what do you guys (and girls more importantly) think? Yay or nay? Posted in As Such, Competitions, [.

This picture of Lionel Messi was taken last month when he attended some women's wear fashion week thing in Uzbekistan. Don't ask us what he was doing there, but hello beard! Isn't he looking fine?
We're saddened though that Leo's let his hair grow out even more since then, and now he's sporting that long-stringy-hair-parted-over-a-headband look again.

Any MLS supporter who still has a club in the race for the final playoff spots knows by now how completely wacky the tie-breaker system is in the event of two or more clubs ending up even. MLS must have hired unemployed former Soviet scientists to come up with such a series of win-loss-tie possibilities for this weekend.

It's like playing Where's Waldo, only you're looking for the person with infinitely more money than anyone else in the photo could ever and will ever imagine. We see you, JT!

In case you missed our tweet earlier this week: once you've seen this item, you may not be able to carry on living until you own it.

So much for boho chic. Some of our most beloved boys have taken the dress-down to its extreme: they are now solely existing within the realm of what is being commonly (and offensively?) referred to in fashion circles as Hobo-Chic.

Case in point: the lovely Owen Hargreaves looks like he's going through some kind of major life crisis with a side of empty shaving can-itis; The always gorgeous Niko Kranjcar is one whisker away from us speed-dialing a team of stylists armed with tuxedos and hair gel.

The St Leo women (2-0-1) made a statement in their opening match of Sunshine State Conference play on Saturday. The message was that the votes they received in the NSCAA poll last week were deserved.
The Lions dominated the Tritons (0-3-1), by out shooting them 30-6 during the match. St Leo spread the goalscoring around, with six different players getting on the score sheet.

Apparently someone not only had the terrible idea to make a life-size Davey Becks sculpture out of chocolate, but actually followed through and made it a horrifying reality.

The lifeless eyes and flat-out bizarre hair make this something you wouldn't even consider eating. And the beard I dare you to put a piece of the beard in your mouth.

Twenty-four hours ago, Cesc Fabregas was dealing with a severe case of bedhead and day-beard. Not so for his evening out at Boujis after Arsenal's CL win where he obviously went for the clean-shaven look.

Cesc-appreciators: which do you prefer? We like our former F5er a little rough around the edges, so we're voting bedhead.

Well, at least we now have half an idea of what Catweazle looked like when he was younger. Actually, the most remarkable thing about David Beckham's beard which was just about the most interesting thing about this routine win is that it seems to be sculpted. It isn't the beard of a man that no longer cares, for sure.

1. ESPN doesn't know Gooch
2. The Offside caught it too
3. Hilarious Babel GIF
4. Beckham Beard Barbie
5. Joe Cole smoochie
6. Ibrahimovic clubbing

This is probably the best Talksport 'Fake Interviews' reel so far. It had all of us in COS Towers chuckling, but then that could be down to some odd substances placed in our hot chocolate (again)! Enjoy, we did!

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Beckham was at the Lakers opener sporting his beard and saying it's was all for Halloween.

Liquid football. Honourable mentions to the back-four and ‘keeper, a fourth successive clean-sheet leaving me not so much applauding as looking around suspiciously to wonder what the devil is going on. However, the day belonged to those at the other end. While it made for anxious viewing as the second half wore on, the brand of football purveyed was of the sort I could have watched non-stop for hours, slick little one-touch passes lifted straight from that pre-match six-a-side drill the players undertake up by the halfway line.

When: Tonight, 7:30pm
Where: University Field, St Leo campus
For two weeks in a row, the Lions (2-0-1) have been close, but have not been able to break into the top twenty-five of the NSCAA Division II poll. Hampered by three cancelled matches and lightweight opposition in the games they have played, the St Leo women haven't gotten any recognition for their undefeated start.

Grey's Anatomy star Patrick Dempsey paid a visit to the Bernabeu to watch the Real Madrid v Tenerife game recently.

Here he is involved in a pose-off with Guti. We suspect they discussed how many open shirt buttons were appropriate before the shot was taken.

Wondering why we didn't lead with the shot of Iker Casillas meeting McDreamy/MacSteamy/whatever his web-moniker is?

This is enough to scare anyone to death. Is it a bird? Is it a yetti? No it's David Beckham's new beard! I'm sure everyone has caught a glimpse of Becks' new growth. Not nice, I know, but something you can always rely on Goldenballs to give us is a bit of furryness! Over the years we've [...]

Man with scruffy beard and tattoos prepares to entertain children Halloween festivities are kicking off very early in the Beckham household. Becks was photographed hugging a large pumpkin at a pumpkin patch in California, despite the fact that Halloween is still more than a week away. Perhaps his spectacular Gary Neville-themed pumpkin is going to take [.

It's like playing Where's Waldo, only you're looking for the person with infinitely more money than anyone else in the photo could ever and will ever imagine. We see you, JT!

In case you missed our tweet earlier this week: once you've seen this item, you may not be able to carry on living until you own it.

You know what would be bad ass? If Becks would shave the beard but keep the mustache. I really feel like what we need right now is a return to wide-brooms and "real ales" beards. It's kind of sad that Shep Messing --who has been retired for more than 20 years-- is the dude who's really holding it down for consistent and prominent facial hair in the American soccer diaspora.

So much for boho chic. Some of our most beloved boys have taken the dress-down to its extreme: they are now solely existing within the realm of what is being commonly (and offensively?) referred to in fashion circles as Hobo-Chic.

Case in point: the lovely Owen Hargreaves looks like he's going through some kind of major life crisis with a side of empty shaving can-itis; The always gorgeous Niko Kranjcar is one whisker away from us speed-dialing a team of stylists armed with tuxedos and hair gel.

TalkSPORT have yet again created a gem, not only goes Harry hate Bentley but Phil Brown has finally got rid of his beard....on eBay.

It's somthing to cheer you up after a boring International break.

Buy me a Beer

Related posts:

1. Gillette Soccer Saturday Drinking Game!

Good morning! It's a lovely, crisp morning in South London. Perfect football weather maybe.

I shall be back with a report at some point on Sunday (up to Cambridge for a fancy dress do I'll be Captain Haddock, assuming my beard arrives in the post today). In the meantime, enjoy the game!

Today's the day. I've been up working since about 7 and will be back to it after the game. In the meantime I am attempting to break down a frighteningly large task into smaller, manageable ones, and that being hard to do, have made a cup of tea and come to write something here.

I find myself wondering "what would Elliot Hope do?

That's where I'll be as I watch Game 6 tonight.

Bold prediction time ...

The short rest is gonna catch up with Andy Pettitte, as the Phillies bats will chase him out by the 3rd inning ... and it'll be an even more precipitous downhill slide for the Yankees from that point on.

The final Mungo of 2009 sees Heart of Clackmannannshire's Mungo Crackas having spent the last two weeks failing to score a goal, although he has grown a rather natty beard. With the terrorist group The Mungo Front seeming likely to do their worst, however, chairman and magnet magnate Sir Roddy Bulbs has some news that may just change the club's fortunes in the new year.