Stuff to read while you get an elephant addicted to heroin.... A ref banned for being garbage to ref this weekend's Scotland-Macedonia qualifier. (Guardian) How not to treat a pitch invader. (Dave's Football Blog) Sky Sports reads an email on air insulting Geordies. (The Spoiler) More thoughts on Man City ownership. Click to continue reading...

Let's take a look see.

GROUP A -- easy advance for the top two clubs
Chelsea, Roma, Bordeaux, Cluj

GROUP B -- a breeze for Inter, nice cool, breeze
Inter Milan, Werder Bremen, Panathinaikos, Cypriot

GROUP C -- Barca has no worries, none at all
Barcelona, Sporting Lisbon, Basle, Shakhtar Donetsk

GROUP D -- Reds could be in deep, deep trouble
Liverpool, Atletico Madrid, PSV Eindhoven, Marseilles

GROUP E -- United should be fine, key word: should
Manchester United, Celtic, Villareal, Aalborg

GROUP F -- wide, wide open group here
Lyon, Bayern Munich, Steaua Bucharest, Fiorentina

GROUP G -- Arsenal could be tested here. Click to continue reading...

JC made a lot of great great goals... If Van Basten's volley is the quintessential Oranje goal ever, this goal is Barcelona's most beautiful. Despite Romario, Stoichkov, Ronaldinho, Messi... JC made the best goal ever for Barca, against Atletico Madrid. The balance, the timing, the touch... And to be honest, Click to continue reading...

Unsettled Spurs striker Dimitar Berbatov would prefer a move to Barcelona over Manchester United, reports emanating from Spain are suggesting. The Bulgaria international is keen to join a top European side after two successful seasons at White Hart Lane, and giants Barca and United are leading the chase for his signature. Click to continue reading...

Ok, so I didn't make it to Chivas/Barca, but I am in Chicago. I booked this trip a long time... Click to continue reading...

This morning's Champions League third qualifying round draw paired Liverpool with Belgians Standard Liege. Here's your essential guide:

1) Like Liverpool, Standard Liege are known as ‘The Reds' because of their home strip.

2) The club was formed in 1900 by a group of the College of Saint-Servais in Liege. Click to continue reading...

I know some people find the political stances taken by Barca and/or its players particularly irritating, because, I don't know, it's so much cooler to, you know, act like you don't care about anything* (or, alternately, that anyone who claims they do give a shit about anything past their own nose must surely be lying). Click to continue reading...

Lionel Messi is already playing spectacular football for Barca in tune up matches this pre season and will most likely challenge Cristiano Ronaldo for the world's soccer spotlight this year.

If early June's international friendly between the US and Argentina is any guide, Messi may be the difference between 50000 and 80000 fans showing up at the Meadowlands next month to watch the Catalan powerhouse take on the New York Red Bulls at Giants Stadium. Click to continue reading...

Before heading to the U.S to play CD Guadalajara in Chicago and the Red Bulls in New York Barcelona stopped in Scotland for two pre-season friendlies. First Barca opened up by thrashing Hibs 6-0 at Murrayfield, giving new Barcelona coach Josep Guardiola his first victory.An Eidur Gudjohnsen double and goals from Lionel Messi and Pedro in [. Click to continue reading...

When Ronaldinho finally left FC Barca it was a sad day. For a brief time he was the king of football and quite possibly the greatest player to have worn the famous 'blaugrana' stripes. He was a lovely person with it. His personality balanced perfectly with his status. Samuel Eto'o too was an astonishing player for [. Click to continue reading...

The Steve Nash Foundation hosted the Showdown in Chinatown in NY last month, a pick-up game starring such notables as the recently retired Claudio Reyna, Barca's Thierry Henry, Jason Kidd, Robbie Fowler, Steve McManaman, and Juan Pablo Angel. Click to continue reading...

It's not all fast cars and WAGs you know. There's pre-season training too. This photo of Thierry Henry and Barca teammates moving the goals for a training session yesterday captures that pre-season feeling nicely. Although the smiles might disappear once the shuttle runs get started. Photo credit: AP Photo/Manu Fernandez Click to continue reading...

By 1970's Gooner Alexander Hleb will become tomorrow the fifth player signed by Barcelona this transfer window. New Barca boss Pep Guardiola has already recruited defenders Daniel Alves (Sevilla), Martin Caceres (Villarreal) and Gerard Pique (Manchester United) as well as midfielder Seydou Keita (Seville). Click to continue reading...

MADRID, (Xinhua) -- FC Barcelona will officially accept Arsenal midfielder Alexander Hleb as its team member on Wednesday evening. The Belarusian is already in Barcelona to undergo his medical tests before putting pen to paper to become Barca's sixth incorporation of the summer. The Catalan outfit has already signed Sevilla duo Dani Alves and Keita, former Manchester [. Click to continue reading...

The day where Alexander Hleb leaves the club may have finally arrived. He's in Barcelona for a physical, and the deal will be done. Someone over at Setanta takes a look at the impact that Hleb has had at Arsenal. I'll make a long story short: with him off the pitch, more goals were scored and more games won.

Click to continue reading...

I've read today that Barcelona are ready to offer Arsenal £15m AND Samuel Eto'o in order to get Adebayor at the Nou Camp next season.

If this is true then if I was Arsene Wenger I'd bite Barca's hand off for that offer!

I'm a huge fan of Eto'o, he is without doubt, world-class. Click to continue reading...

The Barca board had "crisis talks" today about the status of Joan Laporta's presidency, and 8 of 17 directors resigned (pictured) over the fact that Laporta didn't resign or get canned. But Joan still has more than half remaining so he's good. (Josep Lago/AFP/Getty Images) Click to continue reading...

A picture gallery of Barca's new Brazilian being unveiled at the Camp Nou... (click on image to view the whole gallery)... Click to continue reading...

This week's The Third Half is live. You can download directly from here, via the On Demand player, or you can subscribe to the show via iTunes.

On this week's show.
1: Plenty of news discussion from the past week.
* The story of Kenny Mansally attempting to get back to Foxboro for the game against Toronto FC.

Click to continue reading...

The Independent reports that new Man City boss Mark Hughes reckons that he can get Ronaldinho's mind away from bars and women and back to football. The Brazilian's fall from grace at Barca has left the Camp Nou High Command with no option but to let him go. "People are questioning Ronaldinho's situation at [. Click to continue reading...

Barca star snapped wandering around NYC, looking for new club It's not a fashion crime as such, simply because Henry manages to look good in just about anything (bastard) - that includes an ironic t-shirt, accessorised with old-school high-top sneakers.... Click to continue reading...

Pep Guardiola is determined to make his mark on world football as he continues to spend, spend, spend at Camp Nou. Having already spent £6m on Manchester United's Gerard Pique, £8m on Palmeiras' Henrique, £11m on Sevilla's Seydou Keita and £13m on Villareal's Martin Caceres, the new Barca manager is still spending as he continues to [. Click to continue reading...

Pep Guardiola is determined to make his mark on world football as he continues to spend, spend, spend at Camp Nou. Having already spent £6m on Manchester United's Gerard Pique, £8m on Palmeiras' Henrique, £11m on Sevilla's Seydou Keita and £13m on Villareal's Martin Caceres, the new Barca manager is still spending as he continues to [. Click to continue reading...

For anybody thinking Ronaldinho wouldn't welcome a transfer from Barca to Chelsea, this interview should put that to rest. It's becoming very obvious that Scolari has all the right connections having been around the block once or twice, and it looks to be paying dividends for Chelsea. "I am a Barca player. Click to continue reading...

Chelsea sign Deco. Looks like Lamps is off to Inter then Today is Big Phil's first official day as Chelsea boss. His first signing was Deco, Portugal's Brazilian playmaker. Deco has signed from Barca on a two-year deal, for a... Click to continue reading...