On behalf of kickettes everywhere, Enrique 'Quini' Castro showed some gentle strokes of adoration for Daveed Villa and his soul patch in Asturias last Friday. Villa collected his fourth 'Quini' award, which is given to the region's highest scoring La Liga player each year. Image source: MundoDeportivo.

The impostor is a runaway choice in this season's most unwanted award category. Sorry guy, but you were shit. Give us back our Bison.

Readers' passenger of the season voting results (2010-11)
Total votes: 139
Michael Essien 56 votes (40.

Don't panic, people. It's just an 'air-trophy'. He can't hurt anyone with it. Oh, alright. Ashley won the 'Player's Player of the Year' Award at the Chelsea club dinner last night. We cannot confirm whether interns had a vote, but hazard a guess not. Congrats anyway, Ash! Image via chelseafc.

Our second end of season readers' poll takes a look at the new boys.

Signings were a talking point throughout the season. The number of outgoing parties in the summer, Michael Ballack and Joe Cole among them, peaked interest in the market from fan support very early.

Disuss.

The helmeted one, to absolutely no one's surprise, has been named the Chelsea Offside readers' player of the season. By a country mile.

Readers' player of the season voting results (2010-11):
Total votes: 272 (50 more than last season)
1.

Mrs Jamie Redknapp. As every press opp's best friend, we should've never doubted you. But we did, because you wore this, this and THAT recently.

By now, you've collected enough paychecks to know how to work a camera lens, we realise. Throughout your style trials and tribulations, however, we've fostered a weird (we) love (you)/(we) hate (your outfit) relationship with your red carpet looks.

Our Titan is not one to be overthrown. A thunderbolt from Alex on a warm day in October is selected as this season's magnum opus. Jamie will be positively giddy.

Readers' goal of the season voting results (2010-11)
Votes: 134
1.

When you consider the amount of hot air, high fashion, alcohol and misbehaviour that generally occurs when awards are dished out, you'd think we'd have a staff member whose only job is to sniff out those nominations.

Well, we don't.

Generally, if we learn we've been nominated it's too late and even if we win, we're too disorganised to go to the ceremony.

Will this be the year that Marta will be dethroned as FIFA's women's world player of the year? The Brazilian striker has won the award for the past five years and was among the 10 players nominated for the 2011 award.

The United States has three players on the list all of whom played for the WNT at last summer's Women's World Cup in Germany.

Better late than never, eh?

The Sypnosis

"I'm a fan of Chelsea. Chelsea are the only team that can play. Chelsea players have by far the most impressive reproductive organs. Stamford Bridge is my church. The men who play there are my Gods.

Image Credit: Getty Images.

Bologna FC captain, Marco Di Vaio, was honoured at the Nettuno d'Oro award ceremony this past Monday with a piece of hardware fit for someone who doesn't meet theme parks' roller coaster height requirements.

While we have not one clue as to what that diminutive statue signifies (nor do we have one ounce of desire to find out), we want to congratulate the pretty Serie A player on deciding what to wear.

AC Milan's Clarence Seedorf gave the biggest grin without gums after being appointed Knight in the Order of Orange-Nassau by the Netherlands ambassador to Italy in Rome, 28th April 2011. He's got every right to be giddy, now that he's in good, chivalrous company with Edwin Van Der Sar and Giovanni van Bronckhorst (the only other Dutch footballers to have received the honour).

Observations from last night's Italian advertising awards ceremony: way to work the grey, Mr. Eto'o! And isn't award winner Filippo looking a little rough around the facial fold edges these days? Image Credit: Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty Images Europe.

Mrs John O'Shea seems about 7 months along, no? Any Manchester United Kickettes care to place a wager on the sex of this couple's first born?

Masterclass

Our look back at the season that was continues with a focus on some of the good times. Key word being some.

Best match. This ain't best performance mind you. We're looking for the best game Chelsea were involved in all season win, lose or draw.

Cue the golazos.

Day 4 of our end of season polling brings with it one of the more popular offerings of each summer, goal of the season. Perhaps there is not a headline favorite as in previous seasons Essien v. Barcelona in 2009, Drogba v. Bolton in 2010 but that's not to say there aren't several fine candidates.

He has the hair. The charisma. And, yeah, the game. Bob runs away with the voting for readers' signing of the season in what was hardly a surprising turn of events.

Readers' signing of the season voting results (2010-11):
Total votes: 389
David Luiz 199 votes (51.

That match that provided so much promise and gave us so much hope in a season stripped of it proved to be the definitive choice amongst our brethren.

Readers' match of the season voting results (2010-11):
Total votes: 129
1.

Manchester United's Javier Hernandez was the Gold Cup's top scorer and player of the tournament after playing an important part
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As a recently graduated high school senior, attacking center midfielder Morgan Brian already has career stats that any soccer pro would envy. This past spring season she led her high school, Fredericka Academy in St. Simons, Georgia, to a 17-2-1 record and a fourth straight Georgia Independent School Association Class AA state title.

Only one person in this photo has a fully functioning set of knees. Can you guess which one? Image via twitter.

Whether it's signing petitions in aid of animals or thinking about spending more time with the oldies, this edition of Good Week/Bad Week is packed to the rafters with inspiring ideas.

Image taken at the Australian Football Awards, 04.10.2011.

It's very long, Lucas. And looks crooked? Basically, it needs work.

Please see David Villa's fantastic facial art when you have a moment.

That is all.

Keep calm and read on, Kickettes. Image Credit: AP.

Sadly, it was anything but quiet on the news front for us this past weekend, but as always, we're ready and willing to help you bounce back into work action.

Although if you require posts in addition to this one, know that we'll only resume work upon receipt of our mandatory compensation (in this case that would be Thanksgiving leftovers from our U.

By Dominic Vieira, writing from Portugal

Tonight the answer to the everlasting debate is finally revealed in Zurich, will Iniesta, Messi or Xavi win the newly created FIFA Ballon d'Or? For the first time in 21 years the top 3 prizes will be awarded to players from one club, FC Barcelona.

The amazing Marta won her fifth consecutive FIFA player of the year award Monday, ahead of Germany's Fatmire Bajramaj and Birgit Prinz.

Hosted at the Zurich Kongresshaus, the evening's FIFA Ballon d'Or Gala raised the curtain on the new decade in style. Attracting the cream of the soccer world, who had come to pay tribute to the leading players and coaches of 2010, the event reached its long-awaited climax with the award of the inaugural FIFA Ballon d'Or, a fusion of the FIFA World Player of the Year award and France Football magazine's Ballon d'Or.

Argentina and Barcelona forward Lionel Messi captured the inaugural Fifa Ballon d'Or award. This is the first time this award has been presented as the Ballon d'Or (former European Footballer of the Year award) and the FIFA World Player of the Year award have been merged.

Messi beat out fellow Barcelona teammates Xavi and Andres Iniesta both of whom had strong years for club and country.

Ex Newcastle United manager, Chris Hughton won the "North East Sports Personality of the Year Award" at the BBC North East and Cumbria Regional Sports Awards yesterday evening. The event, held at The University of Sunderland, saw Chris winning the award despite being sacked as Newcastle manager in December of last year, supposedly for being [.

We know. Javier's hair. We'll discuss in a minute. Images: Zimbio.com.

Italian footballers! Oh, how we love to love. And yet? Much like the rude arse Yetis placed outside our favourite nightclubs whose sole purpose in life is to push us away from guest list queue towards the one full of peasants, footballers' fashion choices often act in a similar, aggressive shoving manner to our senses.

Not exactly the Double we're looking for, but nevertheless a nice coup for the club after that wretched run that followed us into February.

Carlo was named manager of the month and Bob player of the month when the Barclays Premier League awards for March were announced earlier today.

The nominations for the Scottish PFA Player of the Year 2011 Award have been announced. The PFA Player of the Year Award for 2010 was won by Rangers midfielder Steven Davis. This years' SPFA Player of the Year nominations has two Celtic players, one Kilmarnock player and one Rangers player. The Celtic duo are Gary [.

The PFA Player of the Year 2011 ( 2010/11) winner has been announced, and the award has gone to Tottenham Hotspur's Gareth Bale, who beat off competition from Charlie Adam, Samir Nasri, Scott Parker, Carlos Tevez, Rafael van der Vaart and Nemanja Vidic to win the tournament. Bale is the fourth Welshman to win after [.

For the second month in a row, Carlo Ancelotti has been voted April's Premier League Manager of the Month. But is the award cursed?

Carlo won for March as well after impressive wins against both sides of Manchester, and the award for April was for our wins that have helped us claw back towards the PL summit.

Last night's announcement that Gareth Bale has been named PFA Player of the Year was not a great surprise to many. Bale fought off competition from the likes of Charlie Adam, Rafael van der Vaart, Carlos Tevez and Nemanja Vidic to scoop the prestigious award, voted for the highest proportion of his fellow professionals.

Oh, look at that! EPL Talk has nominated A Football Report as one of its blogs of the 2010-11 season:

It's all about the silverware! Wait, what? There's no massive EPL Talk trophy we can hoist up to pretend we're Javier Zanetti? Sigh, what happens to a dream deferred?

In all honesty though, it's always great to gain some sort of recognition for the time we put in writing and sharing our thoughts on the beautiful game with all of you.

The season hath ended.

With it comes a managerial search. Not exactly surprising. Also arriving, of course, are the Chelsea Offside end of season awards. This should be far more enjoyable than fretting over the possibility of Harry Redknapp toiling about on the touchline come the end of May.

We bring our work week of end of season polling to a close with what sure is to be a testy subject. Who sucked hardest?

This club had its share of underperformers this season, especially during that forgettable mid-season lull that drove us all insane. We've somehow managed to narrow our initial list to four: a pair of midfielders, a forward and one truly atrocious fullback.

While celebrating at last year's ESPN awards, he discovered he has another unique "talent". Despite having a degree from UCLA, Carlos could make a lot more hitting the pole. I am sure the ladies wouldn't mind the alternative career.

Now in its 26th year of honoring the nation's elite high school athletes with the Gatorade Player of the Year award, The Gatorade Company presented the ninth annual Gatorade High School Athlete of the Year awards to the nation's best overall male and female high school athletes this evening.

In the female category, senior Morgan Brian of Frederica Academy received the 2010-11 Gatorade High School Athlete of the Year award at a dinner reception in Los Angeles.

Pep Guardiola was all smiles yesterday as the Catalan Parliament awarded him the Gold Medal, Catalunya's highest accolade, for being an excellent representative of Catalan values in the sporting world. There were words of praise and admiration, which almost brought Pep to tears at one point.