Rafa gets beat by Novak Djokovic in the Australian Open marathon for his third straight Grand Slam loss and then Cristiano Ronaldo bests him at tennis using only his Mercurial Vapor shoes. What's he supposed to do to win?

If the message is that the Mercurial Vapour VIII can switch on mad soccer skills just by wearing them they could not do better than Nadal.

Gabriele Marcotti has a good article on the "ghost goals" that are breathtakingly missed by the human eye and calls for technological innovation which already exists to put them to rest.

On Saturday, against Juve, Sulley Muntari's header saw the ball clearly cross the line about a yard inside before Gianluigi Buffon was able to push it out.

As bromances go, we can't say we expected this. But ya know what? It might just be mad enough to work... Image: REUTERS/Eddie Keogh.

It's past 5 o'clock somewhere, Kickettes.

Consider that an explanation for our poor spelling, lack of coherence and just about anything else that's horribly wrong after the jump.

Welcome to Offbeat Wednesday, where we cover the wacky side of football! Today, read about the German National Team's bizarre new campaign, Mourinho's Carpark 'Me Time', Harry Kewell's Tennis Day Out and Guti's Holiday!

Now now, don't get all excited! You're not looking at the latest 80′s German pop band founded by Lothar Matthäus, but it's close to the truth.

Novak Djokovic beat Rafal Nadal in a herculean Australian Open finals that lasted 6 hours. The same day Arsenal had to summon every fibre to overcome a two goal deficit to overcome Aston Villa and prevent a FA Cup exit.

And then there is the US Women's team that blanked Canada, 4-0, en route to winning the CONCACAF qualifiers to the London Olympics.

The last three Grand Slam tournaments in men's tennis have come down to Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal. For the third straight time, Djokovic won this time in the Australian Open. But this match was anything but routine.

It took nearly six hours for Djokovic to win 5-7, 6-4, 6-2, 6-7 (5), 7-5.

The last three Grand Slam tournaments in men's tennis have come down to Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal. For the third straight time, Djokovic won this time in the Australian Open. But this match was anything but routine.

It took nearly six hours for Djokovic to win 5-7, 6-4, 6-2, 6-7 (5), 7-5.

Serbian World Nº1 Tennis player NOVAK DJOKOVIC starts the 2012 Tennis season as he finished last, winning the 2012 AUSTRALIAN OPEN 5-7, 6-4, 6-2, 6-7 & 7-5 Spanish player & World Nº 2 RAFAEL NADAL is a historical match that lasted nearly 6 hours. Rafael Nadal The Spaniard started well to take the first set, but Djokavic reacted over-powering Nadal with his serve & stroke shots to take the

Serbian World Nº1 Tennis player NOVAK DJOKOVIC starts the 2012 Tennis season as he finished last, winning the 2012 AUSTRALIAN OPEN 5-7, 6-4, 6-2, 6-7 & 7-5 Spanish player & World Nº 2 RAFAEL NADAL is a historical match that lasted nearly 6 hours. Rafael Nadal The Spaniard started well to take the first set, but Djokavic reacted over-powering Nadal with his serve & stroke shots to take the

Nadal won again against Federer in the Australian Open semi-final this morning. The comparison between the psychological advantage Nadal has over Federer with how the Blaugrana consistently defeat the Merengue is an intriguing one.

In his past clubs Mourinho always had the solution to win the psychological game.

Tennis Spanish Sportsman & Tennis ace RAFAEL NADAL was defeated this afternoon in the Final of WIMBLEDON 2011 by Serbian & new World Tennis Nº 1 ranked player NOVAK DJOKOVIC 6 - 4, 6 - 1, 1- 6 , 6- 3. Djokovic wins his first ever Wimbledon Tournament & defeats Nadal for the 5th straight time in a final.

Serbian Novak Djokovic proved to hot to handle in his Second Australian Open Final against Scotland's Andy Murray in Melbourne.

Djokovic claimed his second Australian Open Title to add to his 2008 Title beating Murray 6-4, 6-2, 6-3.

Belgium's Kim Clijsters came from a set down to claim her fourth Grand Slam of her career beating Na Li in Melbourne 3-6, 6-3,6-3

It's Clijsters first Australian Open Crown having only previous tasted victory in the U.S Ope.n in 2005, 2009, and 2010

Scotland's Andy Murray is into his third Grand Slam Final after beating David Ferrer 4-6, 7-6, 6-1, 7-6 in the Semi-Finals of the Australian Open.

Murray will meet Novak Djokovic who beat Roger Fedeer in the other Semi-Final yesterday, Murray will be hoping he can win his first Grand Slam on Sunday having tasted defeat in the Final last year to Roger Federer.

Scotland's Andy Murray is into his third Grand Slam Final after beating David Ferrer 4-6, 7-6, 6-1, 7-6 in the Semi-Finals of the Australian Open.

Murray will meet Novak Djokovic who beat Roger Fedeer in the other Semi-Final yesterday, Murray will be hoping he can win his first Grand Slam on Sunday having tasted defeat in the Final last year to Roger Federer.

Third seed Novak Djokovic strolled into his second Australian Open Final beating defending Champion Roger Federer 3-0 in the Semi-Finals this morning.

Djokovic played a near perfect game to close out the match 7-6, 7-5, 6-4. He will now meet either fifth seed Andy Murray or seventh seed David Ferrer who sent Rafael Nadal packing in the Quarter-Finals.

Third seed Novak Djokovic strolled into his second Australian Open Final beating defending Champion Roger Federer 3-0 in the Semi-Finals this morning.

Djokovic played a near perfect game to close out the match 7-6, 7-5, 6-4. He will now meet either fifth seed Andy Murray or seventh seed David Ferrer who sent Rafael Nadal packing in the Quarter-Finals.

World Number One Rafael Nadal crashed out of the Australian Open three sets to nil, to his Spanish compatriot David Ferrer.

Things looked omnious for Nadal as he left the court for a lenghty Medical break after only the third game in the first set.

However take nothing away from Ferrer injury or no injury he deserved his 6-4, 6-2, 6-3 win over Nadal and will meet Andy Murray in the Semi-Finals.

World Number One Rafael Nadal crashed out of the Australian Open three sets to nil, to his Spanish compatriot David Ferrer.

Things looked omnious for Nadal as he left the court for a lenghty Medical break after only the third game in the first set.

However take nothing away from Ferrer injury or no injury he deserved his 6-4, 6-2, 6-3 win over Nadal and will meet Andy Murray in the Semi-Finals.

This week's Picture That Dotmund Did is a double whammy of art and LEARNING. As we are now in the middle of the Australian Open Tennis, your correspondent (who likes tennis so much that he has yellow fuzzy balls) turned his attention to the Ladies' Singles draw, where three notable players were the products of professional footballer's loins.

It doesn't get much better than this! Kim Clijsters calls out commentator Todd Woodbridge for sending text messages referencing to her as pregnant.

It went down at the Australian Open and left Woodbridge speechless! At least both of them were able to laugh about it.

It doesn't get much better than this! Kim Clijsters calls out commentator Todd Woodbridge for sending text messages referencing to her as pregnant.

It went down at the Australian Open and left Woodbridge speechless! At least both of them were able to laugh about it.

They don't make Tennis raquets like they used too as Agnieska Radwanska found to great amusement to the crowd in her Australian Open match with Kimiko Date-Krumm. Thankfully for Radwanka she won the final set 7-5 with her new raquet.