Is Ashley Cole the dumbest man on the planet. Fresh from England's disastrous World Cup campaign in South Africa you would think this guy would lie low and keep his mouth shut, but no Ashley Cole goes out of his way to irritate the English people further, some of which have stood by him through thick and thin.

Is Ashley Cole the dumbest man on the planet. Fresh from England's disastrous World Cup campaign in South Africa you would think this guy would lie low and keep his mouth shut, but no Ashley Cole goes out of his way to irritate the English people further, some of which have stood by him through thick and thin.

Cheryl Cole has revealed that she lost her virginity at the age of 15:

"I was 15 when I lost my virginity, but I made my boyfriend wait three months, so I am really proud of myself for that."

Three whole months!? Yeah Cheryl, that's worthy of pride waiting until you're 15 to pop your cherry is a mark of real class.

Chelsea's Ashley Cole and his wife Cheryl were out (amongst a range of B-C list celebs) at Gary Barlow's 10th wedding anniversary celebration in London last night. It was held at the Mandarin in Knightsbridge and a good time was had by all. Chazza and Ashely looked very chatty and chirpy on exit.

Ashley Cole has been teased and jeered by his team-mates, who have told him he has turned his wife Cheryl Cole gay.

Ashley Cole's latest love - 'a white-witch'! DailyIndia.com And the pole-humping lady has now opened up about her love for chants and spells. "I'm part white witch - fond of potions and making my mates' dreams come ...

Ashley Cole's latest love - 'a white-witch'! DailyIndia.com And the pole-humping lady has now opened up about her love for chants and spells. "I'm part white witch - fond of potions and making my mates' dreams come ...

With a chance to extend our lead to four points at the KC Stadium last night we blew it with some sloppy defending from a set piece once more.
We still took an additional point last night to extend the lead over United to 2 points but we all know it could of been and should of been so much more!

Soccer America reported today that Charlie Davies is back to training, which is great news for the US National team - roughly 3 months from the start of the 2010 FIFA World Cup.
Charlie Davies tweeted the good news on Thursday: "It's official! I'm done with rehab!!! Leaving for Sochaux tomorrow!

By Ollie Irish

The News of the Screws claims Peter Crouch cheated on girlfriend Abigail Clancy (one of our Top 10 Sexiest WAGs in the World) with a teenage prostitute. Ah, you can always trust the Screws to break a kiss-and-tell story on the eve of a new season.

As we discussed in last week's podcast, the USA has 23 roster spots to fill for the coming World Cup. No one (including, it seems, Bob Bradley) is set on the number of players we're taking for each position or the overall look of the squad. Compounding the issue is that even the most hardcore supporters of the US Men's National Team have difficulty keeping track of all of the players currently listed on the website's Player Pool.

Wayne Rooney, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, John Terry, Ashley Cole. An illustrious lot, these world footballing stars would make the starting XI of just about every squad on the planet and are known from the Midwest to the Midlands.

Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey, Jozy Altidore, Michael Bradley, Tim Howard.

Wayne Rooney, Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, John Terry, Ashley Cole. An illustrious lot, these world footballing stars would make the starting XI of just about every squad on the planet and are known from the Midwest to the Midlands.

Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey, Jozy Altidore, Michael Bradley, Tim Howard.

When Landon Donovan set out on his three-month loan stint from the Los Angeles Galaxy to Everton FC back in January, many fans of the USMNT were worried that he might have a target on his back when matching up against some of the English players that he is likely to face in the World Cup this June. As it turns out, it was Donovan who cast the first injury stone, knocking out England's starting left-back Ashley Cole for three months with a broken ankle.

Please insert allegedly/whatever other disclaimer before each one... Take it or leave it, you heard it here first.

1. The Sun have lined up another EIGHT women who have slept with him in the last 18 months or so.

2. The front page today that Bridges ex, Vanessa, has slept with five members of the Chelsea squad is only the beginning.

Anyone that stumbled upon The Sun's website this morning, would have seen a headline, in which John Terry states:

"I want Champions League glory and World Cup triumph. I'm not ashamed to say it..."

I'm not quite sure why anyone would think that John Terry would be ashamed at wanting to win both the Champions League and World Cup, especially when he doesn't seem to be particularly ashamed of sleeping with the ex of his former teammate and best friend.

Derek's mosquito surveillance techniques were found to be seriously flawed. Image courtesy of Bauer Griffin via Zimbio.

You know what it like, Kickettes. You're in the early stages of dating (yes, we realise it's in all likelihood a tabloid scam but please, go with it), taking those first tentative steps towards a relationship and in the first flush of love you plan a surprise for your beau.

If Jozy Altidore's goal is the tipping point to a rich vein of form for Hull, then Wednesday is the chance to keep it going. His well-worked goal in Saturday's win against Manchester City was another positive step for the 20-year-old, and with a visit to Blackburn on the schedule, Altidore will be itching to score once again.

Photo by ISIphotos.com

Landon Donovan is loving life at Everton, so much so that he has every intention of returning to the Liverpool club at some point if and when he leaves to return to the Los Angeles Galaxy.

The U.S. national team star is enjoying a dream run with the Toffees, and spoke recently of his intention to come back to Goodison Park some time during his career.

One day Patrice Evra will write a book. He has an inspirational story to tell by a footballer who offers a rare insight into life at Old Trafford under the guidance of Sir Alex Ferguson. Evra is a...
Continue to the full story

One of the few very few bright spots of England's miserable World Cup campaign was the form of Ashley Cole. The England left back had a decent World Cup 2010, and has avoided most of the criticism directed at the team by, well, everyone who saw the team play in South Africa. But a story in The Sun yesterday has ruined all that.

One of the few very few bright spots of England's miserable World Cup campaign was the form of Ashley Cole. The England left back had a decent World Cup 2010, and has avoided most of the criticism directed at the team by, well, everyone who saw the team play in South Africa. But a story in The Sun yesterday has ruined all that.

Ashley Cole, knee deep in yet another text-sex tabloid-sell out extravaganza, was in Los Angeles this weekend. As you can see, he's making friends with women with very impressive hair. (Let's hope the horse she bought it from got paid well for the sacrifice.) He also made the acquaintance of a lady who didn't seem to notice her shirt wasn't covering what it needs to cover.

By Ollie Irish

Many of us have probably imagined how it would feel to smack Cole in the head. Well played, that ball.

By Ollie Irish

Some recommended football content:

TOP LINK A fine review of Match of the Day by our friend Alex Netherton Sabotage Times

Mutinous Nicolas Anelka hit with 18-game international ban! Surely he won't play again for France, even if the ban is reduced on appeal NY Times

WAG Abbey Clancy pulls on some riding gear, tries to forget about cheating Crouchy Goaly Moly

Chelsea want to work on Ashley Cole's public image.

Think back to to 2006... it was a good year for Philippe Senderos. The young centre-half, whom Arsene had signed way back in 2002 when he was a coveted prospect, started half of the club's league matches and became a regular in central defense as Sol Campbell neared the end of the first part of his Arsenal career.

Landon Donovan turned in his best performance as a member of Everton FC on Wednesday evening, helping his club to a 2-1 victory over Premier League leaders Chelsea at Goodison Park.
The American star, on loan from the Los Angeles Galaxy, set up Everton's first goal with a pinpoint corner kick that was met by the head of Louis Saha shortly after a half-hour.

By Ollie Irish

Updating a popular list we first published back in March 2007...

◄ Back Next ► Picture 1 of 20

#20 David Bentley - Cocky son of a gun, could use a firm tap on the jaw

Photos: PA

NB. This is an entirely subjective list, which no doubt many of you will quibble with.

Former Manchester United midfielder Roy Keane has launched a scathing attack on England's players following their devastating World Cup exit. The current Ipswich manager has never been known to keep his thoughts to himself, and Keane made it clear that he believes the players not Fabio Capello are firmly at fault for England's exit.

By Ollie Irish

LINKS!

TOP LINK Finnish side Jaro take over from Stjarnan with Lady Gaga goal celebration Goaly Moly

Ryan Shawcross accuses Arsène Wenger of holding personal vendetta Guardian

Sheffield Wednesday could be forced into administration in the next 24 hours unless they pay a tax bill of more than £1m BBC

Gerard Pique is very pleased to see Cesc Fabregas Kickette

Danish legend Brian Laudrup is being treated for a mild case of lymphoma.

And... another one bites the dust. (Rio, we'll get to you in a minute.) But for now, let's examine the public relations fail that somehow advised the very married Ashley Cole to explain away sending photos of his penis to a glamour model in this manner:

He was "larking about".

Alone.

Owen Hargreaves

With 67 days to go before the big kick-off in South Africa, recent developments have changed the look of England's squad with currently several positions still up for grabs due to injuries and form issues. Let's look at some of the questions Fabio Capello has to deal with before the plane leaves.

By Ollie Irish

Fabio Capello must cut SEVEN players from his provisional squad of 30 by midnight on June 1st. In Capello's shoes, which seven players would you ditch?

A reminder of the 30-man provisional squad:

GKs - Joe Hart, David James, Rob Green

DFs - Leighton Baines, Jamie Carragher, Ashley Cole, Michael Dawson, Rio Ferdinand, Glen Johnson, Ledley King, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Stephen Warnock

MFs - Gareth Barry, Michael Carrick, Joe Cole, Steven Gerrard, Tom Huddlestone, Adam Johnson, Frank Lampard, Aaron Lennon, James Milner, Scott Parker, Theo Walcott, Shaun Wright-Phillips

FWDs - Darren Bent, Peter Crouch, Jermain Defoe, Emile Heskey, Wayne Rooney

* * * * *

I would get rid of the following baggage:

1.

Well the 30 players named in Fabio Capello's England squad have had multiple trainng sessions and two games to earn their place on the plane to South Africa.

Now is the time that this squad must be trimmed to 23 players, meaning that 7 players will soon receive the dreaded phone call ending their World Cup dreams for at least four years if not forever.

Well the 30 players named in Fabio Capello's England squad have had multiple trainng sessions and two games to earn their place on the plane to South Africa.

Now is the time that this squad must be trimmed to 23 players, meaning that 7 players will soon receive the dreaded phone call ending their World Cup dreams for at least four years if not forever.

For all the wonderment of the World Cup, there will be scandal and not of the FIFA variety (though perhaps that too). No, the players will be involved, and they shall dive. Oh they shall dive: with grace, with flair and with complete lack of self-respect. So below we have compiled the World Cup dive team, just like diving: no rules, just bad taste.

Former Manchester United player Roy Keane has launched an astonishing attack on England's World Cup failures.

The United legend is famously candid when speaking about football and his latest verbal assault was no different.

Among those in the firing line were David James, Robert Green, John Terry, Matthew Upson, Gareth Barry, Emile Heskey and Steven Gerrard.

Real Madrid is wrapping up their American preseason tour by playing Landon Donovan and the LA Galaxy tonight at 10:30 PM (eastern) in Pasadena, California at the Rose Bowl. And with that size of a stadium I think it is safe to say that the friendly should attract quite an active audience.

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JOSE Mourinho is quickly building his own team at Real Madrid. He gets the ownership thing: managers need to be fully accountable for their XIs; the good ones put their own unique stamp on a club, which usually involves getting rid of the previous gaffer's players and systems, and installing new ones.

Smoking is cool. Here are some footballers rocking nicotine chic. With a couple of notable exceptions...

Being a bad-ass, of course Man City's new signing Mario Balotelli smokes. Indoors. With fit women.

Slaven Bilic rocking a Marlboro. Not strictly a player anymore, but still cool.