Let's preview this weekend of Premier League action, as we do every Thursday. We look at (I) best match for a neutral (II) most fantasy friendly match (III) studs and duds and (IV) a prediction of a weekly best eleven lineup.
I. Arsenal @ Manchester United: The Gunners are confident of a win at Old Trafford after scoring 15 goals in their first 4 games, but may be without club captain Cesc Fabregas.

Flying back to LAX yesterday, I had a layover in Chicago. I got off the plane and walked into the United Airlines terminal - and was immediately surrounded by hundreds of travelers wearing those goofy respiratory masks. I mean, hundreds. Women and men, young and old, all pretending to be surgeons.

The second leg of our all-English Champions League semifinal is here. An exciting day. Manchester United take a 1-0 aggregate lead to the Emirates - and it has been 8 years since Arsenal have won a home match against United by two goals. Looks good for Sir Alex Ferguson's men then.
Rio is back.

(Summary is not available.)

Manchester United Captain Rio Ferdinand has yet to return to training as he continues to suffer from a back injury, but at least he has a singing/acting career to fall back on if he never fully recovers.
The now intimidating 6 foot 3 inch physical specimen in a somewhat less intimidating role in a 1991 school play.

No you can't, Nicklas.
Bendtner insisting that he can be among the world's best is like me nonchalantly saying, "I'm going to lay Catherine Zeta-Jones over Memorial Day holiday weekend."
No I won't.
Come on Nick. You're better than that.
Or, you're not.

Maddy's Note albeit to Maddy's Post: I generally write a post in about 40 minutes. This however is the maximum thought I have ever put in into any piece of writing (yes, it includes my examinations as well). Forgive me, but this is a dissertation sized post. You have been warned.