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Tap my bitch up

Arseblog 25 July @ 03:05 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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There are many things about football that have remained the same down the years. The fervour of the fans, the basic concept of sticking a ball in the back of the net, that fact that anyone who had old man who tried to persuade them to become a Tottenham fan would have been told in no uncertain terms where to go and what was thought of him, dodgy referees and tapping up.

Sunday round-up

Arseblog 24 July @ 05:19 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Morning all, quick Sunday round-up for you.

Pre-season continued yesterday with a 2-1 win over Cologne in Germany video highlights here. We scored all the goals too. New boy Gervinho kicked off his Arsenal career in some style with two nice finishes, set up first by Jack Wilshere and then Theo Walcott.

Sunday round-up

Arseblog 24 July @ 05:19 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Morning all, quick Sunday round-up for you.

Pre-season continued yesterday with a 2-1 win over Cologne in Germany video highlights here. We scored all the goals too. New boy Gervinho kicked off his Arsenal career in some style with two nice finishes, set up first by Jack Wilshere and then Theo Walcott.

Nasri/Cesc stuff needs quick resolution + Saturday round-up

Arseblog 23 July @ 05:08 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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So the team arrived in Germany without Cesc but with Samir Nasri, and still the futures of both players dominate proceedings.

One is clearly affecting the other. If there was no Barcelona interest in Cesc then Nasri would be gone by now. Sold. Done and dusted. There's not a shred of doubt in my mind about that.

Jagielka and Cesc bids not the same thing

Arseblog 22 July @ 02:54 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Morning, welcome to Friday, the rain has stopped and my weather widget thing says it may get above 'very chilly indeed' today.

We'll start with the news that Arsenal had a £10m bid for Everton's Phil Jagielka rejected yesterday. And not surprisingly too. £10m is low for a player who is an experienced, established international, and for whom we had a £12m bid turned down last summer.

Sliders and slackers

Arseblog 21 July @ 02:54 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Good morning from Dublin where the sky is grey and it is teeming down with rain. That really straight falling rain too, the one that makes you extra wet.

Miserable as it might be though, if you were playing football today it'd be a great day for the sliding tackle. There really is nothing like a good sliding tackle.

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

Arseblog 20 July @ 02:54 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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To: Arseblog
Subject: RICHES AWAIT!

Dear Friend,

My name is Mr. Pepploe G'uardio'la, I work in a managerial position in a well respected company, with a head office in Barcelona. I am contacting you because of an urgent business transaction that I want to do with a trusted foreigner.

Good things are afoot

Arseblog 19 July @ 02:41 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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There is little doubt that this has been a summer of frustration for many Arsenal fans. We've sat idly by and watched rivals spend big money on world class quality players like Stewart Downing and Ashley Young and that bloke from Blackburn.

All we had to content ourselves with was that young lad from Charlton.

Cesc and Nasri situations still dominate the pre-season

Arseblog 18 July @ 03:21 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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So another week begins and the players have returned from the Asian Tour. Time to catch up with friends, family, and in Jack Wilshere's case, something called Gossip Girl. I'm pretty sure I don't ever want to watch that. Unless it's girls gossiping about the ways in which they would flay John Terry before rolling him in salt.

Pre-season angst : Campbell deal done : Sunday round-up

Arseblog 17 July @ 04:07 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Like many of you I watched yesterday's 1-1 draw with Hangzhou Greentown on the old Arsenal Player thingimaji (worked perfectly this time although it'd be excellent if one could resize the window to one's own specification rather than the two options of 'tiny' and 'full screen')

It wasn't particularly exciting and the best thing you can say about it was that it gave those with a certain sense of a humour a chance to crack wise a term that always puts me in mind of a former Chelsea player and a cricket bat.

Saturday round-up : forwards galore!

Arseblog 16 July @ 04:36 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Morning all, a quick Saturday round-up for you.

As the police continue the hunt for Cesc Fabregas after his ruthless kidnapping (they're still none the wiser as to where he might be), we've just got to hope they do their job and get on with all the other stuff in the meantime. I'm assuming Sky News are on this 24/7.

Head in the clouds …

Arseblog 15 July @ 03:15 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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You know, no matter how disheartening the season just gone has been, pre-season generally provides a measure of confidence. A page has been turned over like some kind of new leaf, and you go into the new one full of hope and optimisim.

It's hard to feel that yet this summer, I have to say. I know that much of it has to do with the blanket coverage, the Twittering, the non-stop chatter about Arsenal when we might be best served stepping away for a little while and not analysing the ever-loving shite out of every single utterance made by every single person connected with the club.

Football returns, everything else stays the same

Arseblog 14 July @ 03:00 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Pic via @gunemall

So, football yesterday and pre-season kicked off with a fairly routine win over a Malaysia XI.

Two goals in each half gave us a 4-0 win. An early Aaron Ramsey penalty after Jack Wilshere had been taken down in the box opened the scoring. The second came from a lovely Ramsey pass over the top of the Malaysia defence, Theo Walcott timed his run and lobbed the onrushing keeper.

Wenger is confusing – Jack is challenging

Arseblog 13 July @ 03:33 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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So today we get our first taste of football since the end of last season. Back then the taste was not so sweet. Like eating a vomit pie, with cow poo crust and gravy made from the liquidised entrails of a bison with septic gut-rot.

Today is just a pre-season friendly, of course, the result isn't that important and it's about getting players on the road to proper fitness and sharpness.

Wenger talks, waters still muddy

Arseblog 12 July @ 03:11 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Hello, a ton of interesting stuff this morning.

We'll start with the positive and at long last the club confirmed the signing of Ivory Coast forward Gervinho. Well, mostly. At the press conference yesterday Wenger admitted the deal had been done and Gervinho was an Arsenal player. The club released a statement saying:

Arsenal Football Club announces that Ivory Coast international forward Gervinho will shortly join the Gunners, subject to a regulatory process.

Monday machinations

Arseblog 11 July @ 03:03 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Good morning and welcome to what is shaping up to be a busy week, even at this early stage. We've got transfers, transfers, transfers and, above all else, two actual games of that association soccerball frenzy we all love.

On the transfer front we'll start with players going out. The Telegraph reports that Nicklas Bendtner could be heading to either Sporting Lisbon or Borussia Dortmund in a £9m deal.

Things beginning to stir

Arseblog 10 July @ 04:35 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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A quick Sunday round-up for you.

The squad for the Asian Tour was announced yesterday and there were no real surprises. Cesc was absent, as expected, Eboue, Diaby and Fabianski didn't travel because of injury concerns, while only the omissions of Nicklas Bendtner and Manuel Almunia raised eyebrows.

Arsene talks, says good stuff and bad stuff

Arseblog 09 July @ 04:29 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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So, we heard from Arsene for the first time this summer and it has set some cats amongst some pigeons.

Speaking to Arsenal Player ahead of the Asian tour, it all started quite well. He spoke about how he would fight to keep Nasri and Cesc, which is good. Obviously we know the subtle differences between the two situations and I saw a report yesterday saying we're now offering Nasri £110,000 per week.

There has to be a plan. There has to be.

Arseblog 08 July @ 03:10 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Good morning to you.

It's Friday again. That means we've gone through another week without any of the following things happening:

  1. Signing a new player
  2. Signing more than one new player
  3. Selling a player who has said they want to leave the club but for whom nobody has bid
  4. Selling a player we wouldn't mind keeping but who is being a dick so we might as well sell him
  5. Selling a player we definitely don't want to sell

You'll notice how I finished on a positive note there.

This is what it sounds like

Arseblog 07 July @ 02:32 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Having been so forthright yesterday about the departure of Samir Nasri to Manchester City, I expected The Sun and The Mail to be full of confirmation of the deal.

I think my eyes must be deceiving me because I cannot find it. I'm sure it's there though. I mean, you hardly make a pronouncement like that one day and completely ignore it the next.

Nasri, money and bullying billionaires

Arseblog 06 July @ 02:45 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Oh this football business is so confusing. So much information. So many assertions and exclusives.

Take this morning, for example, depending on what you read Manchester City have either agreed a deal for Samir Nasri or they haven't.

The Mail

We've got Nasri! Manchester City claim £19m deal for Arsenal rebel

Manchester City believe they have captured Arsenal playmaker Samir Nasri for £19million.

Clichy goes, time for Arsenal to show intent

Arseblog 05 July @ 02:33 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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So, the first 'big' Arsenal transfer deal of the summer took place yesterday and to nobody's surprise it was a player leaving, rather than one coming in.

Gael Clichy was sold to Manchester City for a fee believed to be around £7m. Not bad for a player in the final year of his contract and while many will paint the picture as Clichy being the first of a number of 'want-away' stars to depart, the truth is Arsenal were willing sellers.

Players start to return, Arsene has work to do

Arseblog 04 July @ 02:35 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Blimey, looks like the sun is out again today. It feels almost ... continental.

And it's a big day at Arsenal as players will return for the start of pre-season training. I don't expect they'll all be there today, but over the next couple of days we should have everyone back. With a trip to Malaysia and China very much on the horizon (the first game is on Wednesday week) it'll be important to get them running around, burning off the pies and fish and chips and Mars bars they've been eating all summer.

Sunday something something something yeah

Arseblog 03 July @ 05:17 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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*boilk*

I would blame Mrs Blogs and the Mugsmasher, but I guess it's not really their fault. I had to drink as much rum as possible to get over the fact that yesterday's blog left some people saying 'WTF?' and suggesting that I had not taken things as seriously as I should have.

Sunday something something something yeah

Arseblog 03 July @ 05:17 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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*boilk*

I would blame Mrs Blogs and the Mugsmasher, but I guess it's not really their fault. I had to drink as much rum as possible to get over the fact that yesterday's blog left some people saying 'WTF?' and suggesting that I had not taken things as seriously as I should have.

And nothing but the truth

Arseblog 02 July @ 05:08 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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What is there? I don't mean in general, for if one were to ponder that question, you might drive yourself mad.

Where did we come from? What are we doing here? How do we, as an infintisimal speck in the wider universe have any great consequence to anything? I simply don't have the answers to those questions.

Oh, it’s all happening now.

Arseblog 01 July @ 02:41 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Hello everyone and welcome to July 1st.

Picture me standing, leaning forward, cupping my ear, waiting, listening. 'Listening for what?', you ask. Well, the tiny patter of new feet, of course! Today is the day when it all starts. July 1st. The day of the transfer. El dia del traslado. Le jour du trawnsfeeeerrrr.

Give me back that old familiar feeling

Arseblog 30 June @ 02:34 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Good morning. I hope this finds you hearty and well and enjoying the delights that only a summer can bring. Rumour, innuendo, frustration, constant refreshing of websites, trawling the NewsNow feed, and now, for the first time, Twitter has become a 'tool', and I use that word quite deliberately, for the mischievous to play with the delicate minds of football fan.

Barcelona’s improved offer still nowhere near enough

Arseblog 29 June @ 02:37 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Last night I dreamt I was drinking all night in a strange old hotel. Pints of Armagnac and other things and when the alarm went off this morning I braced myself for inevitable and no doubt painful *boilk*.

Which never came! That's awesome. It's like when you wake up and go 'Oh, it's Thursday' and then you realise it's actually Saturday.

Ball in Barcelona’s court – CUoCo (again)

Arseblog 28 June @ 02:33 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Well there was much drama yesterday when the BBC ran an article telling us what we already knew.

They quoted a 'senior Arsenal source' talking about the future of Cesc Fabregas. He confirmed an official bid from Barcelona:

"The offer was made formally in writing to our chief executive (Ivan Gazidis), and we said no straight away.

Hakuna Mata-ta!

Arseblog 27 June @ 02:51 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Hello and welcome to a brand new week, one which has the potential to be quite busy indeed.

Over the weekend I have come to accept that the fact that Ricky Alvarez is indeed a genuine target for us. Despite the fact I can't get my head around it from a footballing point of view, people I trust have assured me this isn't some bizarre Candid Camera style joke.

Sunday round-up

Arseblog 26 June @ 03:23 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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An early one today as Brainy Joe here foolishly agreed to a 5-a-side tournament at 10am on a Sunday morning. A Sunday morning after being out the night before. Still, this feels like familiar ground for some reason.

Rounding up what's going on this Sunday in breakneck fashion. We'll start with The Mirror and something positive before we head into the 'Christ, they're all gonna leave' stuff.

You wait ages for a winger then three come at once

Arseblog 25 June @ 05:36 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Welcome to Saturday and the summer has taken a massive step in the right direction. It's not sunny but it's not freezing cold and pissing down with rain. Little steps.

And there might well be a signing on the horizon. We're being very strongly linked with Ricky Martin Alvarez from Argentine club Velez Sarsfields.

CUoCO

Arseblog 24 June @ 02:58 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Morning all, welcome to Friday and it's with Cesc we're starting today.

It seems Barcelona have made their first bid for the captain, a measly €30m. Rightly enough Arsenal have told them to 'get real' and come back with something more suitable.

Catalan daily Sport are reporting that Barcelona's vice-president of sporting stuff, Josep María Bartomeu, went to London this week to meet with Ivan Gazidis.

The past, the present and a capital idea

Arseblog 23 June @ 02:51 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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This morning I was looking back through the archives to see if I could do an 'On this day', kind of feature. I think I picked a bad day.

My choices were: the day after Thierry Henry left (2007), us being linked very heavily with Alexander Hleb (2005), Jens Lehmann talking about how we should sign Miroslav Klose (2006), Barcelona talking about wanting to sign Thierry (2003), vaguely hoping Igors Stepanovs might cripple Ruud van Nistelrooy in the Euros (2004) and a quote from Chris Waddle talking on 5Live about the Swedish back four at the 2002 World Cup:

The Swedish back four is amongst the tallest in the world cup.

In Quaaludes and red wine

Arseblog 22 June @ 03:00 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Midweek has arrived and I am sitting here with coffee pondering the cruel nature of football and Irish summers. Yesterday was the longest day of the year and it really felt like the longest day of the year too. So much rain.

Last night we were undone in the final minute as a last minute, flukey winner crept in at the back post against a team who, while decent enough, had a big, lumpen mouthpiece playing for them.

Barça still won’t pay for Cesc + Usmanov ups stake

Arseblog 21 June @ 03:25 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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You know those people who, some time in March, get a little newspaper piece about them? The ones who live somewhere by the sea, or up a mountain, and say they can predict the long-term weather because of the amount of moss on the trees or the number of donkeys that are born that year or by the amount of pus that oozes from their canker sores?

A slow start

Arseblog 20 June @ 03:10 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Morning to you,

another week begins with much on the horizon but little concrete info to kick us off. There's the much vaunted signing of Gervinho, a possible defensive arrival, or two, the manager's transfer budget apparently boosted by some property dealing, and the inevitable departures/stayings of one or two.

Bring me the head of Joey Barton

Arseblog 19 June @ 04:45 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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Last night, as I walked through the not so mean streets of Dublin with the Mugsmasher, football did not enter the conversation once.

Well, real football did. The kind we play, but not this artificial playground stuff that we get on our tellies. At no point did we discuss his team's fantastic new blue tinted away kit which will no doubt draw Vancouverian riots or Arsenal's problems, most obvious of which is our lack of players who can put out a cigar in somebody's eye.

Thoughts on fixtures + Saturday round-up

Arseblog 18 June @ 04:34 AM EDT Blog Details : Related Items
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A quick Saturday round-up for you.

Starting with the fixture list which was released yesterday. It's certainly an interesting start to the season and this August is going to be a hugely important one, not just for the team, but because it could very well set the tone for the rest of the campaign.