Optimism to follow, but it would be remiss to begin proceedings with anything other than the
nasty business of a post-mortem...
The Arnie Approach
In the absence of our recognised midfield enforcers, our glorious leader adopted the cunning
tactical ploy of leaving the back-four without any protection to handle a City front-line so shiny
and expensive they had Tevez on the bench, while the rest of our team was crammed with attacking
types .
- Maxi Rodriguez
In the midst of Champions League matches and the Spanish Super Copa, many fans missed a
quiet moment between two friends. Thanks to our European sources, we have a transcript.
INT. EMIRATES STADIUM TUNNEL NIGHT
Andrei Asharvin exits the Arsenal team bus, to be met by his lifelong friend,
Gunnersaurus.
Fulham's new manager Martin Jol is happy to be back in the Premier League after a four year
absence since leaving Tottenham in 2007.
"Everybody knew I would like to come back," said Jol in his first press conference as Fulham
boss. "I said that when I left, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, I will be back, and now I am back.
It's there! Nemanj struggles with his cruelly ignored visual impairment. Image: Getty
Images/Zimbio.
If you routinely frequent this site, you're probably familiar with Nemanja Vidic's body of work.
Acknowledged for his defensive prowess in a Manchester United shirt, his inordinately sexy thighs
and oddly alluring ‘hot robot' look (‘oddly' as those previously sporting the cyborg
physiognomy have included Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator and Kryten from Red Dwarf, neither of
which we have ever found remotely alluring), Vida is our go-to guy when we are outsourcing assets
such as engine oil, used tyres and Swarfega.
Commando. Truly, one of the great films of the ‘80s, quite the celluloid embodiment
of the all-action-no-plot mentality. From start to finish it is held together by the very wispiest
of fragile plots, whilst also punctuated by numerous illustrations of the linguistic difficulties
that Arnold Schwarzenegger never quite mastered ("All that matters to me now is Chenny").
Commando. Truly, one of the great films of the ‘80s, quite the celluloid embodiment
of the all-action-no-plot mentality. From start to finish it is held together by the very wispiest
of fragile plots, whilst also punctuated by numerous illustrations of the linguistic difficulties
that Arnold Schwarzenegger never quite mastered ("All that matters to me now is Chenny").
