Ben Knight wrote this back in September when the grass at BMO process was reaching a crescendo, and I just haven't commented on it until now. Anyway, enjoy the tale of the wooden boy who dreamed to be real, also known as Toronto FC.

Just as Pinocchio dreamed of becoming a real boy, Toronto has dreamed of being a real soccer city.

I would have expected something this ill-informed from elsewhere:

I find that "big time" men's college soccer lacks all of the things that I love about the Beautiful Game- technical ability, creativity, intelligence.
. . .
The men's game at this level might as well be played with a laced ball, goals made of wood, and players wearing actual studded boots.

Do you know something I don't?

It's not enough for the promotion/relegation zombies to beat on MLS, but now they want the other major American leagues to implement it?

Relegation
Pittsburgh Pirates. Kansas City Royal. Cleveland Browns. Detroit Lions. (gulp) New York Knicks. In all the major American sports, cheap owners, poor personnel decisions and general ineptitude has lead to a handful of perennial losers with virtually no motivation to improve due to monopolies of the major sports leagues.

Is it too late to talk about this? I mean, I know that everyone on the soccer interwebs has been taking turns beating on it with a baseball bat, but there's got to be something left for me:

And then I read a book that detailed the history of Linux. And upon finishing the book, I had an epiphany.

Uh-huh.

However, under the current Collective Bargaining Agreement, regardless of whether the 2008 league MVP resigns with Columbus the Crew will still hold his MLS rights for 2010. Thus, should the Fire wish to acquire the Argentine forward, they will have to trade for him.
"Columbus still has his rights so I don't want to be saying anything too much," Klopas said.

I'd say we should take up a collection, but it's a work conflict. Real life, why must I hate you?

Because the game is officially recorded as a tie:

The game technically ended in a tie, ending Akron's attempt to become the first team in 35 years to win the national championship with a perfect record, and the first ever to go 24 games without a loss to start the season.

In a knockout tournament like the NCAA's, that sure seems like a load of crap.

Anyone who knows me knows I love to travel to Europe to scout and do professional development. Let's face it, there's a lot we can learn by going over there and seeing how training is done and what the atmosphere is like. Not that there's anything wrong with American training methods per se, but you can always learn more, you can always improve, and a lot of Western European teams are at the place we want to be.

When we last saw Duane Rollins, he was shaming the Columbus Crew as cheap and unloved for not paying Schelotto designated player wages. Presumably in an effort to avoid the same fate as Clark Hunt, BA has launched a "blogging marathon" in which he's seeking to fleece readers for up to $24 a piece to keep doing what he's doing.

You decide.

From the files of just wow, what are you smoking. A couple days ago my favorite vampire/guy who won't shut his mouth, aka Kasey Keller, opined on the MLS labor dispute. The party line is that the players have to sign away their FIFA rights to play in MLS, and now it's time to "join the rest of the world".

I was intrigued by a headline of MLS's official blog, MLS Insider, last evening: MLS Insider Exclusive: 2010 Generation adidas Players Revealed:
Notice the time on the post, December 18, 2009 7:32 PM. The content of the post was that Akron sophomore Teal Bunbury and former Rutgers player Dilly Duka had signed Generation adidas contracts with MLS, and that Akron junior Blair Gavin was expected to sign a GA deal.

I'm just saying.

Merry Christmas, ladies, via Feministing:

First things first, congratulations to tennis great Serena Williams for winning top honors. But upon closer inspection you may notice that two of the athletes listed are not human beings. Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra, in fact, are horses.

Um, no:

Many of us see the need for Seattle to get a central attacking midfielder and another striker option. One attacking midfielder who must at least warrant a consideration from the Sounders is Columbus Crew star Guillermo Barros Schelotto. GBS is currently available for trade in part because the Crew are asking him to take a giant paycut in 2010.