A couple of bonny Welsh lasses:

The Leicester crisp merchant's wife looks like the Primark version of Zeta Jones, though to be fair to Mrs Lineker, it's not the best pic of her. That would be this picture, of course:

The Football WAG Index: Danielle Bux-Lineker

Got a lookalike for Pies?

By Ollie Irish

An early contender for best lookalike of 2010, methinks, and one of my favourites of all time. Big love to Guy Gorman for sending it in. Torres is indeed the Shadowfax of the Premier League fleet of foot, noble, flighty, a pure thoroughbred.

By Ollie Irish

Some recommended football content:

TOP LINK A fine review of Match of the Day by our friend Alex Netherton Sabotage Times

Mutinous Nicolas Anelka hit with 18-game international ban! Surely he won't play again for France, even if the ban is reduced on appeal NY Times

WAG Abbey Clancy pulls on some riding gear, tries to forget about cheating Crouchy Goaly Moly

Chelsea want to work on Ashley Cole's public image.

WARNING: This clip may give you nightmares for several years...

...

At least he can see his cock now, poor bloke.

Via our eagle-eyed friends at Goaly Moly & Anorak

By Ollie Irish

Bianca Gascoigne (stepdaughter of Gazza) looks even more like Katie Price than Katie Price.

Got a lookalike for Pies? Email ollie@anorak.co.uk with your tips.

By Ollie Irish

Ah, horsey ladies. Ah.

Send your Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Ollie Irish

Please, no accusations that I've gone all John Motson up in here. I do see a likeness between Richards and soon-to-be City team-mate Balotelli. Perhaps it's in the artistic hair.

Send your lookalike, no matter how shit, to ollie@anorak.

By Ollie Irish

Suitably shit. We like. Send your lookalikes (the shitter the better) to ollie@anorak.co.uk

Ruben Gzirian

By Ollie Irish

Alejandro M

Good spot, Alejandro. Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Send it to ollie@anorak.co.uk

He Pingping is from China and is officially the shortest man in the world, at a miniscule 2ft 5in. That's almost four feet shorter than Spurs keeper Heurelho Gomes.

Thanks to Tom P for this brilliant spot. Love it, Tom.

Think you can do shitter? Email your football lookalikes to ollie@anorak.

The World Cup anorak festival continues. I am pleased to announce that the following quiz has been deemed acceptable according to the FFA's National Football Curriculum. Answers to Episode 3 can be found in the comments here.
Here we go:
The Numbers
1.

By Ollie Irish

Basque artist Dario Urzay designed this eyepopping shirt to mark Athletic Bilbao's centenary they only wore it in a short UEFA Cup campaign in 2004. Thank God for small mercies. The shirt is supposed to evoke a blood splatter, but it looks more like an explosion in a strawberry jam factory.

By Ollie Irish

Basque artist Dario Urzay designed this eyepopping shirt to mark Athletic Bilbao's centenary they only wore it in a short UEFA Cup campaign in 2004. The shirt is supposed to evoke a blood splatter, but it looks more like an explosion in a strawberry jam factory.

By Ollie Irish

Puyol is the shaggy haired captain of Barcelona.

Stefanicki is a former contestant on the current season of The Apprentice.

Several of you spotted this and sent it in. Thanks to y'all.

Send us your Shit Lookalikes by email (ollie@anorak.

By Chris Wright

Bale is easily Pies' most nominated Shit Lookalike candidate by a country mile and, quite frankly, if you don't know who Richards is then you need to reassess your musical preferences sharpish.

By Ollie Irish

Many thanks to Mackers for sending this in. A fine spot it's all in the slack mouth.

Got a shitter lookalike for Pies? Email ollie@anorak.co.uk with your suggestions.

By Ollie Irish

"Do you think if house music was around in the Thirties, World War II would have even happened?"

One is a camp European with massive, horselike teeth. The other is... Ruud van Nistelrooy. Ah-ha! You see what I did there? I subverted an old joke structure, to little effect.

By Ollie Irish

A couple of weeks ago, we gave you a sneak preview of Umbro's new England Away Kit, which will be given its first official run-out when England play Egypt in a friendly at Wembley on March 3rd.

To celebrate next month's launch of the kit, Pies has FIVE of the new England away shirts to give to five lucky readers, courtesy of the lovely people at Umbro.

By Ollie Irish

Striker McLean bangs in the goals for Peterborough; Xzibit is a crap rapper and host of MTV's execrable Pimp My Ride.

Cheers to Paul Eddy for this excellent spot.

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Email ollie@anorak.

By Ollie Irish

"Back off Warchild."

Thanks to Takeshi Cho for the tip. Any time Pies can feature 'Point Break' is a happy time.

Got a lookalike for Pies? Is it a bit shit? Then email ollie@anorak.co.uk, with 'Lookalikes' in the subject field.

By Ollie Irish

Dean 'Deano' Leacock plays for Derby County. Damon Wyans is a bad actor.

Anmol Mancunian

Great spot Anmol. Send your Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Ollie Irish

Spotted by me. Go me!

Got a World Cup-flavoured lookalike? Send it to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Ollie Irish

Spotter's badge goes to... me. Go me!

Send your World Cup Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Ollie Irish

TOP LINK Landon Donovan made a love child? Goaly Moly

... But David Letterman didn't even ask Landon about it With Leather

Christine Bleakley on hols with Frank Lampard in Italy Anorak

Arsenal target Benfica defender Mirror

Diego Maradona mistakes German forward Thomas Müller for a ballboy Dirty Tackle

Eric Cantona set for cameo role in Doctor Who, if Matt Smith gets his way The Spoiler

Top 5 defensive lessons learned from the 2010 World Cup group stage FourFourTwo

Mexico head coach Javier Aguirre steps down Kwaitoball

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart chips in on the World Cup Deadspin

Top 10 World Cup flops Telegraph

Germany skipper Philipp Lahm turns up the heat on Argentina Guardian

By Ollie Irish

Actor Zach Gilford plays Matt Saracen in NBC series 'Friday Night Lights' (yes, it's based on the very good book). Steve Cherundolo is a journeyman US soccerball player (right-back is his default position) with more than 60 international caps.

By Ollie Irish

I see this. I mean, it's shit, but I totally see it.

Nice work, Chris Kent - any relation to Clark (I'm pretty sure you've never heard that before)?

Got a Shit Lookalike for us? Send it to me! ollie@anorak.

By Ollie Irish

I read that the new 'One Show' presenters were pants, but this means nothing to me as don't watch the 'One Show'. If I did watch the 'One Show', it would only be proof that my life had taken a very wrong turn.

Oh, and if you're wondering what the hell this has to do with association football, Bleakley is currently going out with Frank Lampard.

COULD it be magic...

And of course, you're getting the word... Mido.

Got a Shit Lookalike for us? Then send it immediately to ollie@anorak.co.uk

More Shit Lookalikes

You see it? I see it. A bit. If Julio had a big coke habit, this would work even better.

Got a Shit Lookalike for Pies? Send it to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Ollie Irish

One is a superhuman with amazing reflexes... you see where this is going, so I'll stop now.

Coachie Ballgames

Got a Shit Lookalike for us? Send it to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Chris Wright

One's a heartless thug that would sooner kill you than look at you, the other was played by John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.

In all fairness, this should technically be classed as a 'Shit Hairalike'.

L'il ol' me! (during Argentina's 4-1 pasting of Spain last night)

Got a Shit Lookalike for us?

By Ollie Irish

Ubietz888

Send your Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk

By Ollie Irish

Perrotta is a World Cup-winning Italian midfielder who was born in Ashton-under-Lyne, of all places. He currently plays for AS Roma.

Quinto is a hipster actor, most famous for his ridiculous eyebrows. Oh, and roles as Sylar (the arch villain in TV series 'Heroes') and Spock (in the franchise reboot of 'Star Trek').

By Ollie Irish

Ben Arfa is a mercurial French footballer who plays for Newcastle. He looks brilliant but will turn out to be a bust.

Robert is a mercurial French footballer who played for Newcastle. He looked brilliant but turned out to be a bust.

By Ollie Irish

Zlatan is a vainglorious poser with a huge ego and lots of talent.

Nicolo is a vainglorious poser with a huge ego and zero talent. (Which explains why he was booted off X Factor so quickly.)

Spotter's badge to Jamie Williams.

By Ollie Irish

Broughton is an old chairman who defied the monster known as Tom Hicks.

McKellen is an old queen who defied the monster known as the Balrog.

Spotted by me.

Nominate your Shit Lookalikes by email (ollie@anorak.

By Ollie Irish

And the original:

This famous portrait, taken in 1993 by Roger Ballen, is of twins Dresie and Casie, from Western Transvaal. A scary pair but can they take a long throw-in?

Spotter: Matthew Ingham. Great work, Matthew.

By Ollie Irish

One of the few kits where you actually want a bigger sponsor's logo...

Well, we had to get around to this infamously shit kit sooner or later. Just because a club's nickname is The Tigers, doesn't mean you have to design quite such a literal-minded kit.

By Ollie Irish

What's the collective noun for photographers? A flash? An intrusion?

Earlier this week we told you about our exciting new iPad magazine, which will also be produced as a print magazine for anyone who wants a collector's item.

We want your best matchday pics, to feature in a photo essay in the first issue.

By Ollie Irish

Alex is a footballer.

Jamie is a bullshitter.

Send yer Shit Lookalikes to ollie@anorak.co.uk, or Tweet me