This might be a touch simplistic and naive, but...

Shouldn't DVDs on 'how to tackle' be handed out to the youth teams of Premiership clubs, rather than the guys getting six figures a week to go in at some poor man's ankles?

But the higher ups at the FA in England have deemed it a necessary act.

By Chris Wright

Pies' undoubted highlight of the weekend, Craig Bellamy and his rubber band (I think I saw them play at a wedding once) going through a bit of choice choreography on the touchline at Anfield on Saturday...

The sad fact is, some sports scientist somewhere has spent good money running test after test to show that warming-up with a laggy band around the ankles can increase muscle efficiency by 0.

By Chris Wright

Pies' undoubted highlight of the weekend, Craig Bellamy and his rubber band (I think I saw them play at a wedding once) going through a bit of choice choreography on the touchline at Anfield on Saturday...

The sad fact is, some sports scientist somewhere has spent good money running test after test to show that warming-up with a laggy band around the ankles can increase muscle efficiency by 0.

By Chris Wright

It's not often we get to share 'highlights' from Indian football, but this little gem from the I-League merits a mention. East Bengal spanked Pailan Arrows 4-1 last Tuesday, with the home side's third goal of the afternoon being well worth another look.

By Chris Wright

First things first: Sincere apologies for that god-awful pun. I tried to rise above it, and failed. Miserably.

Anyway, Newcastle inflicted defeat upon Mark Hughes in his first game in charge of QPR, with a neat solo effort from Demba Ba's deputy Leon Best proving to be the difference between the two sides at the Sports Direct 80% Off Insane Spring Sale Arena.

For the tournament I'm doing Outside Pack Reffing. There's a minor problem with roller derby - it's not that outside pack reffing isn't important; it's just that it could be said that the other positions are just "more equal" than OPR - honestly, it's much like Assistant Referees in soccer; when you have good OPRs things can go absolutely awesome, and the inside refs appreciate the heck out of them and it can turn a well-reffed bout into an awesomely reffed-bout.

One touch too many, a phrase that sums up Spurs' performance last night. A radically altered team seldom captured the flowing passing style that's been a feature of our season and we couldn't score against 10 men despite having all the possession and territory in the second half.

This was like a trip back in time, all the way back to, oh, last spring at least.

By Chris Wright

Say what you like about Cristiano Ronaldo but the guy actually takes the fact that he tends to end every game with bloodied, knackered ankles rather well all things considered.

Saturday's Madrid derby, which Real won 4-1, was one of those occasions as Atletico ended the evening with two red cards and five yellows against their name while Ronaldo and several of his teammates endured what's known in technical terminology as 'a battering'.

By Chris Wright

Q: Why don't Arsenal score from corners
A: Because Van Persie takes them!

Q: What's the most popular item in the Arsenal club shop?
A: The Van Persie tea tray, because it carries 10 mugs!

Some great Spanish sock-painting Real Madrid keeper Iker Casillas had to become a victim of graffiti in order to take to the field for his side's match against Valencia on Saturday. The Spain international was spray painted to get his kit to meet the referee's expectations. The match officials were not happy at a considerable [.

Nothing breaks the heart like a candle whose flame is blown out by the wind. Noted actor Joey Lawrence's career burned with promise and brimmed with energy. From the very first episode of the late 90′s TV show Blossom, audiences fell in love his "whoa" and looked forward to decades of avant grade artistry.

By Chris Wright

This may be about to become the shortest-lived feature in Pies history, but Christmas is crowning over the horizion (six weeks folks) and naturally our thoughts have started turning toward our nearest and dearest.

Indeed, what better way to show Granny Ethel that you love her than by watching her eyes light up on Christmas morning as she unwraps a bespoke gift sent with love from you to her maybe a small ceramic figurine of Sergio Ramos curling one off with his shorts around his ankles perhaps?

Goals:
Carroll 71'
Suarez 82'
The referee will be the focal point, so we'll start with the controversy. Yes, Rodwell didn't deserve a red. Yes, Liverpool deserved their win regardless.
In fact, Liverpool should have taken an earlier lead, especially since Kuyt is usually automatic for the people from the spot, and the sending off actually helped Everton until the players inevitably tired.

Featured image: Nicolae Stoian

When Jordan Harvey was dealt, Peter Nowak said the following about Gabriel Farfan: "From a physical standpoint, and speed, everything is there. And he has some bite, which is very good for a defender." Garfan has been fast and tough, but he has had a steep learning curve.

Looks like it after yesterday's great game. I had already referred to Mourinho as being the first hacker coach in football's history. The Special One is transforming the classy image that Real Madrid has patiently built up since 1902. Pepe and Marcelo are his preferred hound dogs in this image transformation of the Merengues.

Liverpool 2-0 Valencia| Pre-season friendly

• Liverpool win 2-0 in bad-tempered affair • Anfield's first look at £47m midfield This will be the season when Liverpool judges Andy Carroll and his £35m investment fee – and, as Kenny Dalglish had insisted, he appears ready to make his mark.

Quietly FC Dallas man Brek Shea has wormed his way up the Major League Soccer goal scoring chart, sitting just one behind Red Bulls' Thierry Henry, with nine goals to his name. His strike against Toronto FC was bombastic and made even more satisfying as he broke the ankles of TFC's new DP (and "worst person in the world") Torsten Frings.

The greater majority of athletes have experienced a sprained ankle at some point in their career. After all, sprained ankles are the most commonly injured joint in athletes accounting for approximately 34% of all injuries and 80% of all injuries in soccer players according to a 2007 study in Sports Medicine.

It's not the possession. It's what you do with it.France had the ball for so much of this match that its players seemed to forget what to do when they didn't. In minute 59, Jill Scott slipped past a sleeping back line with a nonchalant fake, a turn and a cracker of a shot. Les Bleues went from dream to nightmare.

Like Achilles' ankles or Steffi Graf's backhand, Swansea City's weakness over the past few seasons of approximate excellence has been all too obvious. Jason Scotland was the key fulcrum for a time, but the goals for column has rarely been a totalizer at the Liberty. That all ended this Spring when Brendan Rodgers - he of the Big League contacts - took a drive down Fulham Broadway and came back

For Part Deux in this occasional series based on viewing our season through the headlines of the daily posts here on Arsenal Arsenal, we have moved on to October and November.

You'll see that the cautiously optimistic tone of the August and September headlines is carried on into October.

Tonight, the United States Men's National Team kicks off its Gold Cup schedule against Canada. And for the first time in my life, I cannot bring myself to wholeheartedly endorse its efforts.

As a supporter of American soccer not to be confused with the United States Soccer Federation - it's not that I want to see the team lose.

Been a while since we saw some highlight reels here from Viva Futbol, so here you go:Now get out and start breaking some ankles.Video: VivaFutbolOfficial
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So the season MLS wanted to stop thuggish play has become the season where talented players get their legs and ankles broken. Last night Javier Morales of Fake Salt Lake joined Dallas's David Ferreira and our own Steve Zakuani on the inactive-for-months list with a broken ankle. The challenge on Morales was cynically issued by a well-beaten Marcos Mondaini, who showed zero interest in going after the ball.

For someone who is decidedly not a Santo Andre fan, this is purely awesome.

For someone who is a Santo Andre fan...probably awesome, but not purely, as they lost.

Jorge Valdivia, who is pure flair as it is, decided to up his dosage a bit with some showboating. And he got his on the back end via a flying Anderson, whose intent and timing was none too subtle.

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish has praised midfielder Jay Spearing for stepping into the void left by Steven Gerrard's injury-enforced absence.
With the Reds captain ruled out for the remainder of the season after undergoing a groin operation, the 22-year-old academy graduate has been given a chance in central midfield alongside Lucas.

Here we are, on the eve of the match, and the big question is... will we play, or not?

[caption id="attachment_1506" align="aligncenter" width="630" caption="The Steponas Darius and Stasys Girėnas Stadium at Kaunas, yesterday (image from Marca.com)"][/caption]

That sandpit up there is where our precious, fragile players are supposed to play tomorrow.

Photo by nicksarebi

West Bromwich Albion seemed to be turning a corner during the first few months of this Premier League season. In previous top flight years they'd been known as entertainers who had been punished for trying to play the right way and as a team whose attacking style left them too open at the back.

By Chris Wright

In which Lionel Messi makes it through the arrivals lounge at Barcelona airport despite apparently being tailed by one of Scaramanga's evil henchman, only to be accosted by a man seeking a photo with his trousers around his ankles...

Smooth.

Hey, did you know the South American U-20 Tournament is happening right now? Probably not, as like any good football fan, one January international tournament is all one can really handle.

And though the world may forgive you, Neymar will not. He of the infinite suitors and equally infinite mullet played the part of Brazilian savior and tournament ambassador by announcing its arrival with a four goal burst in Brazil's opening game.