A trip to the English Championship for our latest Fail File, Kickettes. Please leave your golf clubs at the door and follow us. Refreshments will be provided during the interval.

NAME OF APPLICANT: Craig Bellamy
POSITION/CLUB: Striker, Cardiff City FC (on loan)
BUSINESS UNDERTAKEN: Anger Management
CITED EVIDENCE: Photo (above)
KICKETTE VERDICT: Well, we're not qualified readers of body language (to be fair, most of us in the Kickette office are barely qualified to travel unaccompanied to work), but from this photo we are able to deduce that Craig may still have some difficulty in dealing with his legendary anger in a positive way.

Take Gat If ever there was an advert for anger management Gennaro Gattuso was it. You can always trust Wikipedia to provide you with up to date, factual information on pretty much anything. This is the Italian's Wikipedia page minutes after his 'roid rage, last night.

The Bundesliga doesn't get the concept of extra time. On paper the Bundesliga referees get it. It's up to them to decide, how much time was wasted through substitutions, injury delays, time wasting or excessive goal celebrations. It's OK for them to routinely add only one or two minutes or call it quits after exactly 90 minutes.

Is There a Trophy in That Bag?Dear Santa,
I've tried to be good in 2011. I kept my cursing at incompetent MLS referees to a minimum (6 times per game, max), gritted my teeth and got through a mostly horrible Red Bulls season, and supported my team home and away despite a long string of embarrassing performances and management screw-ups.