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As we enter February, the shortest month of the year (let me be the first to remind you that
this year February has 29 days), Valencia's coaching staff must think this is some kind of sick
joke. 8 games in 29 days. It's been done before, of course. But not quite like this. To start the
month, Valencia host Barcelona at the Mestalla in the semi-finals of the Copa del Rey.
No Tractor Girls allowed Ipswich Town boss Paul Jewell is at the centre of a sexism row after
post-match comments about a female assistant referee. The Tractor Boys' gaffer was infuriated after
his side were refused a late penalty at Birmingham only for the home side to grab a winner. He was
in no doubt [.
The London Olympic committee released a series of coins in honor of the upcoming event, with
football getting its own brilliant explanation of the offside rule via the use of geometric shapes,
with a triangle that looks suspiciously like Xavi. And on the back is the face of Pippo Inzaghi
(assuming so, anyway).
The murky racism row to engulf the Premier League just got foggier with the uncovering of
startling new evidence that points to not just Luis Suarez being racist, but the whole of the
red half of Merseyside exhibiting a proclivity towards bigotry. Our BFZ Times' correspondent,
under great risk to life and limb organized and executed the perfect undercover operation to
unearth this mystery leading to great teeth gnashing at News International's headquarters in
Wapping, London.
Back in February 2011, the Guardian's 'The Gallery' humorously predicted Gary Neville's next
career direction in response to the news of his imminent retirement. Unfortunately, he became
neither a Tellytubby or an Egyptian rebel instead, replacing Andy Gray as the man tasked with
analysing games for Sky Sports; and, boy, has he done it well.
Back in February 2011, the Guardian's 'The Gallery' humorously predicted Gary Neville's next
career direction in response to the news of his imminent retirement. Unfortunately, he became
neither a Tellytubby or an Egyptian rebel instead, replacing Andy Gray as the man tasked with
analysing games for Sky Sports; and, boy, has he done it well.
The flier above is for an after dinner speaking service offered by Andy Gray and Richard Keys, but
is it a hoax? The faces on the top right of the flier do look very photoshopped, and would the pair
really be as insensitive as to name their tour after the comment that got them sacked [...]
By Chris Wright
Look what £9,000 will get you these days...
* * * * *
"Prehistoric banter isn't acceptable in the modern world. I accept that. We failed to change
when the world has changed. We wholeheartedly apologise for our behaviour. It was wrong.
Many people may have been under the illusion that sexism was no longer present in football until
Richard Keys and Andy Gray faced disciplinary action over their comments about female referee's
assistant Sian Massey. The fact that influential figures...
This is a content summary. Visit http://www.
Many people may have been under the illusion that sexism was no longer present in football until
Richard Keys and Andy Gray faced disciplinary action over their comments about female referee's
assistant Sian Massey. The fact that influential figures...
This is a content summary. Visit http://www.
Keys and Gray won't be taking a bow as poor ticket sales see theatre shows
cancelled
In case you missed it, Sunday was derby day in Manchester. And one pub celebrated with an
interesting promotion. Spotted by @BlueM00NRising *** "Richard Keys and Andy Gray need no
introduction," begins the advertising blurb for their theatre tour.
Rafa Benitez was probably stealing the job of a deserving Englishman, and that's bad. But Joe
Cole might be stealing the job of a Frenchman now, so that kind of balances it all out. Maybe.
Mostly I'm just confused. In any case, I think this is the Wednesday news and notes.
Probably...
* Jamie Carragher went on TalkSport today to have a little chat with the regrettable duo
of Andy Gray and Richard Keys.
Keys and Gray have gone from benchmarks to the park bench
I've got a lot to thank Richard Keys and Andy Gray for. Not only did I pick up a few analysis
tips from their excellent work for Sky Sports, but the part they played in making the Premier
League a worldwide sensation meant even an average footballer like me made a decent living.
By Chris Wright
Exiled former-Sky sex-pests Andy Gray and Richard Keys have a new Youtube channel that features
short clips of themselves and their guests spouting their opinions about the week's footballing
comings-and-goings from a park bench.
Yep, you read that correctly a park bench.
Keys and Gray relaunch on the small, small screen, plus Cundy's on-air slip of the
tongue
Eight months after they left Sky Sports under a sexist cloud, Richard Keys and Andy Gray have
made it back to the screen in style. The dinosaur duo, used to broadcasting from state-of-the-art
studios with the aid of touch-screen tactics boards, have launched their own YouTube channel in
which they discuss football from what looks to be a park bench while being filmed on an iPhone.
By Chris Wright
Something for the weekend...
Which Liverpool player is lurking behind The Warrior?
Previous answer: Who'd have thunk it? 'Twas young Johnny Heitinga hiding behind
Gerard Depardieu's gigantic Gallic schnoz!
Mansfield Town have a new CEO, a 29-year-old who has a politics degree and has previously worked
for some big fashion brands. Succeeding Steve Barker, the previous CEO, who has now moved on to a
new role with Stags chairman John Radford's company, the new appointee is keen to start working
with local businesses, increase gates, work with the fans you know, the usual stuff.
Well, Sergio Aguero certainly isn't messing about is he? Lordy. Declared partially fit by
Mancini and that, sir, is what £38 million looks like. Right there. Talking of which, I'm not sure
Gary Neville is cut out for this punditry lark. Not to say that he can't be rather insightful at
times, it's just he seems to have based his delivery style on that of the robot maid from Rocky
IV.
Well, Sergio Aguero certainly isn't messing about is he? Lordy. Declared partially fit by
Mancini and that, sir, is what £38 million looks like. Right there. Talking of which, I'm not sure
Gary Neville is cut out for this punditry lark. Not to say that he can't be rather insightful at
times, it's just he seems to have based his delivery style on that of the robot maid from Rocky
IV.
By Chris Wright
For no other reason than 'Madman Across The Water' is currently on in the background at Pies
Towers, here's a fifteen-strong gallery of former chairman and current 'Honorary Life President'
Elton John flamboyantly going about his business at Watford down through the years.
Growing up in the 1970's, tactics was never something that was discussed much. United played
4-4-2 week in and week out with the same players turning out each Saturday afternoon. We had
Coppell and Hill on the wings, Daly and McIlroy in the middle with Pearson and Macari up front. If
someone was injured then David McCreery was the usual substitute.
I was always a staunch supporter of women playin with each other you know? Get in there and
get physical, that's how the game should be.
- Andy Gray, on the Women's World Cup
...................................
- Response from the rest of the world
I have so far caught.
I was always a staunch supporter of women playin with each other you know? Get in there and
get physical, that's how the game should be.
- Andy Gray, on the Women's World Cup
...................................
- Response from the rest of the world
I have so far caught.
In the latest WSC magazine there's an article suggesting that, for most fans after they get to
about 30, all the great goals have already been scored, all the great albums have already been
made, and from there it's a case of comparing things unfavourably with when you were younger.
I can see this to a point, and it was with great delight that I was reading about Howard
Kendall's mid-80s Everton side this morning.
This may require legal counsel, but holy shit is it brilliant.
[101gg]
- J. League advertising excellence. (The Best Eleven)
- Trekking to the Allianz (+). (EFW)
- Refs are on the precipice. (Dirty Tackle)
- Pot farms not a big deal in Holland. (Yahoo)
- So long, Clasico.
You may remember Sian Massey from such films as Andy Gray Loves The Ladies (But Not As
Referees) and Richard Keys Dust Up His Resume, but now she has a new starring role as
the shoulder bag for Cardiff City's Kevin McNaughton's ambling ways.
What would typically be an 'oh he got sent flying into the linesman' is a bit more.
George Graham, the great Arsenal player and their former manager, has talked about Newcastle today
in Talksport with hosts Andy Gray and Richard Keys. George Graham if they ever get it right
Newcastle will be great club There is a popular article out from Talksport, but I've tries to
extract the "good" bits, [.
"Would you believe it? Would you believe it? WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?"
- Andy Gray or Navjot Sidhu, whoever does it for you.
No this isn't because the scouse get to be represented again. Nor does it have anything to with
Joey Barton thrashing Gareth Barry with his verbal Basebats.
"Would you believe it? Would you believe it? WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?"
- Andy Gray or Navjot Sidhu, whoever does it for you.
No this isn't because the scouse get to be represented again. Nor does it have anything to with
Joey Barton thrashing Gareth Barry with his verbal Basebats.
We're all missing a pattern here. Despite the fact that Spurs have for some reason vowed to draw
0-0 every week in the league, we all keep predicting home or away wins. So once again, the league
table looks exactly like this:
Mark Lawrenson: 21
TottenhamBlog: 17
Jeff Stelling: 14
Andy Gray: 9
This week Andy Gray (who is really sticking to his policy of never predicting a Spurs win
before/after European games, despite how badly it's served him) is going for a draw, while everyone
else thinks that Tottenham will win.
The nominations for both the PFA Player of the Year and Young Player of the Year awards have
been announced and there are a couple of surprises.
For Player of the Year the nominees are Tottenham's Gareth Bale, Arsenal's Samir Nasri,
Blackpool's Charlie Adam, Manchester United's Nemanja Vidic, West Ham's Scott Parker and Manchester
City's Carlos Tevez.
Everyone was united in predicting a Spurs win over West Ham in our last game, only for Jermain
Defoe to leave his shooting boots at home, to leave the league table looking like this:
Mark Lawrenson: 21
TottenhamBlog: 17
Jeff Stelling: 14
Andy Gray: 9
This week Andy Gray predicts that we will slip up, while everyone else thinks that we will pick
up a vital three points.
Richard Keys has sparked more outrage by accusing Liverpool fans of seeking revenge before the
Heysel Stadium disaster.
Richard Keys suggested the ugly riot that left 39 Juventus fans dead was part of a payback for
beatings Liverpool fans took from Roma fans.
Tragedy struck when a wall collapsed as fans clashed before the 1985 European Cup Final at the
Brussels ground.
Some (most?) have wondered what it would be like to have life commentary full time, perhaps even
from some of the names and voices we here on a weekly basis.
This is that dream, and it is an odd reality to be sure.
There are really no words available to explain what is happening with this short.
Some (most?) have wondered what it would be like to have life commentary full time, perhaps even
from some of the names and voices we here on a weekly basis.
This is that dream, and it is an odd reality to be sure.
There are really no words available to explain what is happening with this short.
We have Michael Oliver, who wasn't in my stats thing.
But all is not lost: running the line is heroic Sian Massey, without whom, etc, etc.
Also Mike Mullarkey, who did the World Cup Final.
It's a combination that would blow Richard Keys and Andy Gray's minds.
No one picked up any points for the last game against Wolves, as Andy Gray and Mark Lawrenson
plumped for a Wolves win, while Jeff Stelling and I plumped for an away victory. No one foresaw a
3-3 draw, leaving the table looking like this.
Mark Lawrenson: 21
TottenhamBlog: 17
Jeff Stelling: 14
Andy Gray: 9
This week everyone is united in predicting a home win over the hapless Hammers.
It has so often been swept under the carpet and only muttered sparingly away from the spotlight. It
was always there but not quite acknowledged as it should have been. Step forward Andy Gray and
Richard Keys. Two of the most prominent men in the...
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Xmybox are essentially an American Ann Summers and they have come up with a great way
for women to enjoy football (if they don't already)...
Click here to view the embedded video.
The advert stars two animated characters supporting opposing teams. The male Italian fan
seems confused at her sudden excitement at the match (even though she is kitted out in football
gear and is probably a fan anyway) -It however turns out that her excitement is due to her
sitting on a football shaped although not sized vibrator.
"Football was taken from the working class in the '90s and passed to the middle class. Just as
food was fetishised as an instrument of snobbery, now football is being snaffled by the
poseurs."
Alexander Netherton, ESPN Soccernet
As I read this stirring conclusion to a nigh-on Scargillian tract railing against football
tactics websites, I got to my feet, punched the air in an unquestionably heterosexual way and
yelled, such that Bobby Moore himself might hear, "GET IN!
