Americans Outsourced to Europe - Most popular for 2010
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Disregard the question in the title because we know that ain't gonna happen. I know that there has
been talk lately about Johnson and Adu making a last ditch effort to impress Bobby Blue Eyes before
the May camp but c'mon now, it ain't happenin'. Let's just let it go.
Regardless, the Yank duo did it right today in Greece with the GAM scoring a brace with The Biggest
Midget in the Game™ providing an assist.
On my way to finally eat something after a long, wet day of combine games but I just had to throw
this up all quick-like. Dude gave a great performance on the field today and gave an equally
impressive interview afterward. That's. My. Dog.
So in the past two weeks Robbie Findley and Edson Buddle have been linked to every English side
that is not part of "the Big Four" or owned by an American. According to various U.K. media outlets
(which by nature are very* trustworthy) these two have Everton, Birmingham City, Wolverhampton,
Stoke City, Nottingham Forest, and Bolton all up on their collective jock right now.
Deuce with the M.A.G.I.C.; it wasn't enough for the win but it was still just too much.
Have y'all seen the pictures of Freddy Adu and Eddie Johnson's unveiling at Aris FC yet? Apparently
the theme was some sort of loose interpretation of the video for Justice's "Stress". Except without
all the broken glass, groping, spray paint, billyclubs and general wild'n out.
OK so maybe it was nothing at all like that video but it did feature The Biggest Midget In The
Game™ playing pied piper to enough black leather-clad European youth to keep my favorite
Parisian, heavy metal-disco DJ-duo in stunt doubles for a long-ass time.
Watch out now! LD is on Merseyside and is now officially warmed up; England, you have now been
officially warned.
Well here it is, the semi-annual "What the hell is going on with Freddy Adu?"-article. Today's
piece comes from Rob Hughes who calls Freddy's arrival in Denamrk "as sad as it was inevitable."
I'm not sure about ineveitable, but yeah, it is kind of sad that The Biggest Midget in the
Game
™ can't get a contract at the mid-tier Danish club that employs former RSL teammate
Yura Movsisyan.
Y'all know I love Freddy. Adu, I really do. But we also know he hasn't really shined yet at the
club level in Europe. But the kid can still attract a crowd, as evidenced by the throng that
awaited him upon his arrival in Greece. Dude even has chants already. Crazyness. This just furthers
my belief that if he were to come back the States he'd still be a draw.
"They have beans with everything and when I say everything, everything." --Jozy Altidore.
They also have smooth-jazz in the elevators and baller-ass carparks. As for Jozy, he's got an "I'm
the king of the world"-view of Leeds from his balcony...which isn't really as bad as a view of
Leeds sounds.
When I ran into Gooch in Philly at the SuperDraft/NSCAA Convention a few weeks ago, some people
didn't appreciate it and some did. Oh well, you can't please everyone (unless you are Kaka...nobody
seems to hate that guy). Now I just scratched the surface because A) I am a blogger and not a
journalist or broadcaster or any of things I have been rumored to be, B) I was not prepared to ask
for more than I did, and C) Gooch has a schedule to keep Cotdamnit.
When I tell you that I actually just gripped the sides of my MacBook in an attempt to strangle the
screen I am not kidding. I love Jeff Bradley, Giuseppe Rossi...not so much. Why this kid is the
cover story on ESPN the Magazine I have no idea but there he is. I guess if I look at it as a glass
half-full thing it's nice to see soccer on the cover even if it isn't a PROUD American player or
someone cover-worthy a la Messi or CR7.
A while back Maurice Edu asked the world via Twitter what he should do with his hair. I, under my
work guise, suggested rock an El DeBarge-style drip....maybe be an American Drogba or something. He
seemed to think this was funny but apparently not funny enough to follow through on. Let's go to
the tape.
I wonder if he wears a fannypack when he's hitting up the London museums...
You may have seen these pretty pictures with Thierry "Big Bank Hank" Henry in his new Red Bulls
kit. Here's a video showing how they make them; I am impressed that he does all his own stunts.
So here's a random one: Young Jozy and the hirsute homosexualist off of the excellent Modern Family
debating who gets more women: athletes or actors. Surprisingly it's not nearly as awkward as it
sounds on paper.
I know he's just BSing and having fun but our Jozy sounds like his head has gotten as big as his
transfer fee.
Not sweating mud while gazing hypnotically into the camera. Just regular-assed sweating while
trying to get fit for whatever team tabs him for 2010. Red Bull New York, here is that central
midfielder you so desperately need.
Read the first line of the second paragraph in this bit on Charlie Davies (pronounced: Char-Lee
MUR-PHAY) from Boston.com. This is EXACTLY how the Thierry Henry-to-New York deal got started. And
as much as I hate to say it, his European career looks like it might end sooner than later.
CD9 to NER in 2011, I'm calling it (based on nothing) right now.
Y'all ever heard of Steve Clark? No, not the one from Def Lepard but the American kid that play in
Norway. Yeah, me neither. Anywho, he got a start over the weekend and the announcer, Øyvind
Alsaker, didn't realize his mic was hot while expressing his views on Clark, one of Clark's black
teammates and his opinion that rural people get their lady's preggers earlier.
Vice is still killing it y'all. I'm just going to come out and say it; they have shamed all of us
who create content on the regular with the We Are Eleven series and the world is a better place for
it. In today's bit of grandstanding they kick it with The Boy King of New York & Jersey™ & mom
dukes over a cheesesteak at Gino's in Philly.
Even though he's in England instead of Scotland, it sounds like our Stuart is getting his accent
back dunnit? Like he needs another weapon in his lady-killing arsenal. What's next, smooth-assed
bespoke suits and a mantle full of awards to go along with his pro-baller status? Oh wait, he's got
that already?
Stu Holden's 88th minute game-winner for Bolton over Blackburn. Go on son.
Look who it is y'all? My dude Kammarman! And he appears to be decidedly warmer than the last time
we saw him. He's coming at us direct from the now-traditional January USMNT camp at the HDC with a
posse-cut featuring Bobby Blue Eyes, MLS Cup champion Robbie Findley and Clarence "I used to rep
Dallas but now I stack paper the Norwegian way" Goodson.
It is 1:57 a.m. ET. Consider this your nightcap.
Here's a name we haven't called in a while: Frankencooper. The big man has been kind of quietly
doing his thing for Munich 1860 but made a bit of noise today by scoring the second of his side's
goals against Hertha Berlin. Not a bad day at all for Americans Outsourced To Europe™, no?
H/T Pro Soccer Weekly
Deuce to AC Milan? On one hand I'm all "wow." On the other hand I'm like "whack." You can figure
out the "wow" because it is AC Milan, 'nuff said. But the "whack" is because if he plays there I
might have to actually pay attention to the Italian league which is something I just don't want to
do because A) I watch too much MLS & EPL already and B) I'd really hate to invest emotionally in a
league with such a high propensity for match-fixing.
Check our boys out y'all. Winning awards and rocking the sh*t out of them suits. Seriously, dudes
look like they're dressed for the set of Oceans U-13. Any guy reading this take note: it is high
time we enter the GQ era of American soccer. Get your ass a nice suit that fits, a couple of
organic cotton shirts with a little bit of color (a little bit, you don't want to look like Steve
Harvey or some sh*t) and a square bottom tie with a clip; if you have a lady she will love you in
it and if you are single the ladies (plural) will love you in it.
Y'all ever heard of Gustavo Ruelas? Neither have I. Apparently he's a U.S. U-20 player from
California who is under the employ of Santos Laguna. Or he was under their employ as he's now been
picked up by Celtic on loan.
Good for him. Now, internet, let us begin the process of penciling him into the lineup for the
Yanks in 2018; even though the vast majority of us haven't seen him play I'm sure we'll still say
he's lock to make the plane to Brazil along with Charles Renken, Johnny Exantus and Badr Seyam.
I haven't done anything for the ladies and homosexualists in while have I? No? Well here you go:
Timbo takes it all off except for the gloves (you never take the gloves off) for ESPN Magazine's
upcoming Body Issue. What do you think ladies, could he get it? Or are you still stuck on Gooch's
showing from last year?
Texas' greatest export since this guy led Fulham to the promised land of victory over mighty Wigan
Athletic today. Drink a Shiner, eat some brisket and drop a promotional rap single in his honor
today please.
Didi you know that Traffic Sports --owners of the USL/NASL/D2/Whatever It's Called League team
Miami FC-- own USMNT debutant Gale Agbossoumonde's contract? I didn't until I read this ESPN piece
and I am fascinated by it. If you haven't read it yet you must. It's some sad sh*t but beyond
interesting.
