Kakha Kaladze's pair of own goals against Italy on Saturday may have seemed horrible at the time, but the truly tragic fate suffered by 31-year-old Czech regional league defender Michal Jezek on the same day should put things in perspective. Reports the AFP:

Nine minutes into the game between two villages northwest of Prague, defender Michal Jezek slammed the ball into his own net, then "collapsed on the pitch," CTK [news agency] quoted another player as saying.

If you ask me this guy isn't quite the full ticket, if you know what I mean.  Plus if he hasn't been beaten up yet, it can only be a matter of time!  If you do happen to be in Paris, just keep a look out for some loon with a football.  That goes double [...]

Thanks to Dirty Tackle for this one. Imagine for one moment this had happened in the Premier League. There would be much rolling around on the floor and perhaps an ambulance team on site within seconds. This guy takes it like a man. I mean he is kicked full force in the head and he doesn't try to retaliate, rubs his head a little bit and continues like nothing happened.

All it takes is one weekend and so many crazy stories come out, many of them sad, many of them bizarre.
First off, here's a ref giving some heckling fans the finger. He later provided this quote:

"I let myself get provoked by the verbal insults of the fans and was dragged down to making an unsporting gesture.

Chaddy the Owl -- a 7-foot bird -- ruptured his ankle ligaments when he fell off his bike doing some pregame wheelies.
Nice.

"Eventually the St John's Ambulance people came. They wanted me to take my head off so they could give me gas and air, but I said no. It's an unwritten rule that I never take my head off in front of the crowd.

Coming soon
Hansa Rostock v Kaiserslautern (01:05:09)
The EFW team are kicking off May in style with a visit to everybody's favourite football and beer destination, Germany. Our flight arrives in Berlin on Friday morning before we board the train - or as we like to call them 'mobile pubs' to Rostock.

FULHAM and Wolverhampton Wanderers players, who will arrive in Perth next month for friendlies with the Glory, will be happy to know that they will have the pleasure of having a shower under brand-new shower heads.
According to a report on WAToday, rusty shower heads (which are so 2008) will be long gone as part of an immediate $30, 000 renovation to Members Equity Stadium.

River Plate's ever-sensitive former Argentina forward Ariel Ortega, who has been under treatment for drinking, was hurt more by the media attention than the accident when he crashed his car on Wednesday.
Having pranged his car in Argentina yesterday, he just knew it was too good an opportunity for those Argentine hacks to miss.

(Warning: video shows unconscious player up close. May be unsettling to watch.)

Levski Sofia and FK Baku ended the first leg of their Champions League qualifier in a 0-0 draw, but in the opening minutes of the second half, Baku's striker got John Terry'd.

While it probably wasn't best for his fellow footballers to be manhandling his lifeless body until the doctor reached him, he was none the wiser as he was still unconscious 15 minutes later when they finally got him in the ambulance.

Aloisio, a striker for Brazilian second division club Vasco da Gama, was making his debut as a starter on Tuesday when he nearly died as a result of chewing gum while playing. Seriously. And no, the Brazilian second division isn't a part of the Special Olympics.

Aloisio went up to challenge for a high ball, but instead butted heads with the opposing player in front of him while the ball went over both of them.

Meet Juan Manuel Olivera. His week has been worse than yours. He's currently recovering in hospital, because not only was he knocked out cold during a match for Universidad de Chile against O'Higgins but the Ambulance that he was in crashed. He clashed with the rival goalkeeper in the game, and the goal-a-game striker [.

Universidad de Chile striker Juan Manuel Olivera is recovering after he was knocked out during a match and then the ambulance taking him to hospital crashed.

"It was a tragicomic situation," team doctor Patrico Delgado told Radio Cooperativa.

"He was a bit shocked at first but he has taken it all with a dose of humour.

The former Barcelona striker Samuel Eto'o promised his fellow countrymen that he will buy each of his teammates a £30,000 watch should they qualify for the 2010 World Cup. Last weekend after their 2-0 win over Morocco, Eto'o made good on his promise and gifted the same watch to all of his teammates.