By Chris Wright

In which, like we've so many times before in his career, notorious thug Thierry Henry allows his inner street-brawler to surface again this time during New York Red Bulls' MLS tie with Portland Timbers over the weekend...

As you can (hopefully) see, we're just yanking your chain a little bit of a morning.

UEFA has opened a disciplinary investigation against AC Milan captain Gennaro Gattuso after he head-butted a Tottenham assistant coach at the end of a heated Champions League match.

UEFA's disciplinary panel will hear the case against Gattuso and Milan, which is responsible for its players' behavior, next Monday.

By Chris Wright

In which 35-year old Sfintul Gheorge veteran Julian Bursuc goes out with a bang against Iskra Stal in the Moldovan top flight, quite literally in fact by smacking the referee one across the chops with a brutal right-hook during an altercation on the touchline, before promptly announcing his retirement from the game altogether.

River Plate's chances of promotion took a huge hit after they were beaten by Belgrano in the first of the two legged race. Just after River concede the second goal a group of addled fans storm the pitch and start an altercation with the players and push and shove one of them. They take off and scale the sky high barricades as the stadium reverberates to barracking supporters.

Paraguay shocked Brazil in a penalty shootout to advance to the Copa America semifinals today. In 24 hours both Argentina and Brazil have been knocked out of the Copa America on penalties.

Amazingly, Paraguay is yet to win a game in the tournament, but it will face either Chile or Venezuela, for the right to reach the Copa America Final.

Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that performance this weekend from the Dynamo. I'm not complaining of course and I've never been happier to be so wrong about a game, especially when it's beating up the Sounders. In case you missed it, and I doubt if you're reading this blog that you did, Houston took it to Seattle on Saturday, thumping the inventors of all things soccer, 3-1.

Arsenal winger Gervinho has had his three match suspension for violent conduct confirmed today by the FA. The altercation between Gervinho and Barton last Saturday Arsenal had issued an appeal against the three match ban that the Ivory Coast would receive automatically for the red card he picked up after an altercation with Newcastle's Joey [.

For a fair few months now, a Manchester United striker has flirted with the prospect of being brilliant again. A bicycle-kick here, a strike there, but he has yet to really grab the idea of returning to glory by its skirt, and devouring it in the same way he would do with any semi-respectable prostitute in the Manchester area (allegedly).

You tie a tie, tie a bow, tie your shoes, tie fighters, tie a yellow ribbon around the old oak tree.
You draw a picture, draw water from a well, draw a name out of a hat, draw bridge, draw the strings in your bathing suit so it doesn't fall down.
You get a point across, you get a point on a needle, point form for a list, point your finger, point your toe.

News today that the English FA is getting concerned about the use of Twitter among the players under its jurisdiction. Joey Barton - started using Twitter in May Joey Barton has made headlines throughout the summer for his tweets, and on Saturday made headlines for his altercation with Arsenal's Gervinho, which led to the Ivorian [.

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. - The New England Revolution again failed to hold onto an early lead and had to settle for a 1-1 draw at home tonight with the Houston Dynamo. Despite typical heroics from Matt Reis and a bright start to the match, a chronic inability to keep possession dogged the Revs yet again and allowed Houston a gratuitous number of chances to get back into the match, making it only a matter of time until they did.

Arsenal chairman Peter Hill-Wood insists that there is nothing serious about Joey Barton's claim that the infamous altercation with Gervinho in the opening round of fixtures prevented him from securing a move to the Emirates.

Barton, whose proved the Gunners' summer signing before overreacting to the Ivorian's slap by going to the ground, made it clear that he had no regrets over the incident in the immediate aftermath.

Now's not a particularly good time to be a Palmeiras fan. Turns out it's not a particularly good time to be a Palmeiras player, either. Combine the two and you get the inevitable: news reports.

Displeased with the current state of affairs in Palmeirasland, some undoubtedly wonderful fans decided to attack a player as he left the official store.

Tottenham's Brazilian goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes could be on his way out of the club after he had a ugly altercation with coach Harry Redknapp. Apparently, this latest burst up comes as a result of built up tensions between the player and the coach dating back to Tottenham's opening league fixture against United in August.

As Arsenal captain, even your hair has to be neat

Two things got me to write this topic today. First, I'm at the moment in the middle of reading Alex Flynn's "Arsènal The Making of a Modern Superclub" and I'm currently at the chapter which speaks about the behaviour of a certain William Gallas after the 2-2 draw at Birmingham.

Mario Rodriguez and Marc Pelosi scored goals in extra time to propel the United States Under-17 national team to a wild 3-2 victory over El Salvador in the quarterfinals of the CONCACAF U-17 championships. The victory booked a place in the semifinals of the tournament and clinched a berth in the 2011 FIFA U-17 World Cup in Mexico for coach Wilmer Cabrera's squad.

Liverpool crashed out of the FA Youth Cup after Manchester United came from two goals down to win 3-2 at Anfield on Sunday afternoon.
The Reds looked to be cruising into a semi-final showdown with Chelsea after a brace either side of half-time from the in-form Adam Morgan gave them a two-goal cushion.

On Sunday, Velez Sarsfield were hosting San Lorenzo de Almagro. The two clubs aren't traditional rivals but have, over the last few years especially, had to contend with a very heated atmosphere whenever they've played. One San Lorenzo fan got into an altercation during a routine police security check (most accounts seem to agree on that) and then .

Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish played down a touchline spat with Arsenal counterpart Arsène Wenger at the final whistle of the sides' 1-1 draw.
Wenger was furious that Liverpool had been awarded a penalty in the 13th minute of stoppage time, and the pair had an altercation as referee Andre Marriner finally blew his whistle for full-time, immediately after Dirk Kuyt had equalized for the visitors.

Sporting Kansas City announced today that they will be appealing the red card that was given to Sporting KC defender Aurelien Collin in the team's 3-2 loss to New England last weekend. Collin was given the red card after an altercation after a Sporting KC corner kick. On the play Collin went up for a header against Revolution goalkeeper, Matt Reis.

Paul Kennedy of Soccer America reports on the Barcelona 2-0 victory over Real Madrid in the UEFA Champions League semifinal leg.
For the first 75 minutes, the Real Madrid-Barcelona UEFA Champions League game, the third of four Clasicos, was a mess. More time seemed to be spent arguing with German referee Wolfgang Stark than getting on with the game.

UEFA's Control and Disciplinary Body rendered its verdicts on the proceedings relating to the UEFA Champions League semi-final first leg between Real Madrid and Barcelona on April 27th.

Real Madrid coach José Mourinho, who was dismissed from the bench in the first leg and made an inappropriate statement during the post-match interview, has been suspended for the next five UEFA club competition matches for which he would be eligible.

Being in the Champions League's been great, hasn't it? The comeback against Young Boys, van der Vaart's all-emotions performance against Twente, Bale vs Inter, winning in Milan, all of it. If we are to fail to make it next season, it'll be a real shame to have to resort to Thursday nights on ITV4 in the Europa League.

WELDON UNITED 2-1 WELFORD VICTORIASaturday 14th May 2011Northants Combination Premier DivisionOundle Road
Today was a rare chance to meet up with good friend Kevin Zupp with this being only the second time this calender year. Our original plan was to go across to Oundle for a Peterborough & District League encounter between Oundle Town and newly crowned league champions Ramsey Town.

The thorns which I have reap'd are of the tree
I planted; they have torn me, and I bleed.
I should have known what fruit would spring from such a seed.

Avram Grant was sacked as manager of West Ham United on Sunday night. He was informed by chairman David Sullivan, who left his seat in the directors' box early to wait for Grant in the tunnel as he left the pitch amid chaotic scenes at the DW Stadium, after West Ham's dramatic 3-2 defeat to Wigan Athletic.

The failed criminal prosecution of England footballer Steven Gerrard provoked so much interest among police officers that 130 of them breached data protection laws to view his file, it has emerged.
Statistics disclosed under the Freedom of Information Act reveal that in 2008 there were 42 breaches of data protection laws by officers at Merseyside Police.

By FRANCO PANIZO

If you would've bet before the Copa America that neither Argentina or Brazil would make the final, you likely would have been called delusional.

That will be the case though, as Brazil lost 2-0 on penalty kicks to Paraguay in a quarterfinal match on Sunday.

Oswaldo Vizcarrando's headed goal in the 38th minute was waved off by the linesman, Humberto Clavijo, who appears to have spotted an infraction - possibly Salomon Rondon standing in front of Justo Villar making inadvertent contact with the header while marginally offside. Maybe a correct decision but it still does not rid the feeling of being robbed.

Utah police have confirmed that Jeret Peterson has committed suicide. Jeret Peterson is best known for winning a silver medal in the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. However, he has had issues over the years.

Jeret Peterson's most publicized incident came at the 2006 Winter Olympics. In those Olympics, Jeret Peterson was kicked out following a drunken celebration that ended in an altercation.

Alan Pardew seems to want an end to the altercation between Joey Barton and the club's hierarchy. Alan Pardew - olive branch extended Alan Pardew suggested at his press conference on Thursday afternoon that Barton's career may not be over at Newcastle, as he said: "I've never closed the door on anyone and I'm not [.

It was a trio of MLS players that took the spotlight away from Jurgen Klinsmann in his debut as the UMNT coach. The entrance of Brek Shea, Juan Agudelo and Robbie Rogers provided an offensive flare that was missing from the US attack for most of the game.

Things did started out promising for the Americans.

It was a trio of MLS players that took the spotlight away from Jurgen Klinsmann in his debut as the USMNT coach. The entrance of Brek Shea, Juan Agudelo and Robbie Rogers provided an offensive flare that was missing from the US attack for most of the game.

Things did started out promising for the Americans.

Arsenal's summer signing Gervinho has revealed that former Gunner Samir Nasri convinced him to seal a transfer from Lille to the Emirates by promising that they would be playing together at the club this season.

However, with Nasri recently completing a protracted move to Manchester City, Gervinho has urged the entire Arsenal squad to overcome the pain of losing such a key playmaker by responding collectively.

As Carlos Tevez awaits further action from his club, new reports emerging claim that he had an altercation with team mate Alexander Kolarov that led to averbal exchange between the two where Kolarov called Tevez and idiot.

It is true that Tevez's actions were rather foolish and unbecoming and although everyone is right in thinking this, it still does not give anyone the right to speak their mind.

photo courtesy of Jarred Donalson
Sporting KC took a big first step in the playoffs on Sunday night in Colorado as they took out the Rapids 2-0 in the first leg of their home and home series. With the second leg at home at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park, KC is firmly in the driver's seat in the series.

By Chris Wright

Kris Commons pulled a fast one on the photographers gathered outside the club's training ground, turning up in a neck brace and bandages after rumours spread on Twitter recently of a nasty, but sadly non-existent, bust-up in the Celtic ranks.

The only way is to the barbers for Joey Barton

QPR midfielder and cultured man about town Joey Barton has been ingratiating himself with stars of hit TV show The Only Way Is Essex while checking out the newly launched video game Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. Barton was in attendance at the glitzy launch of the game, along with fellow Premier League footballers Kieran Gibbs, Daniel Sturridge and Anton Ferdinand, who spent his first night at a public event since his altercation with John Terry with none other than the Chelsea captain's te.

When he's not breaking ribs at A.C. Milan, Oguchi Onyewu travels back in time to break Bruce Lee's ribs in Game of Death.

Seemingly celebrating the first anniversary of his altercation with Sporting Lisbon defender and U.S. international Oguchi Onyewu, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has released an autobiography that briefly details the fight (among other, far less interesting self-aggrandizement).

Love him or hate him, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is undoubtedly one of the best strikers in the world. The Swedish International has in the past few weeks been in the spotlight for revealing personal details about his professional relationships in some of the world's biggest clubs.

Ibrahimovic who is scheduled to launch his autobiography in the next few days, continued with his shocking remarks on Wednesday during an interview with La Gazetta Dello Sport.

After the Oklahoma City Thunder were eliminated last year in the playoffs, the talk surrounding the team was concerning how well Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook could coexist. While Westbrook is a talented point guard, he's also a player who looks to score first and that doesn't mesh well with Durant, who is arguably the NBA's best scorer.