All Tomorrow's Parties - Most popular for 2010
Viewing all posts which authors have tagged ‘All Tomorrow's Parties’.
You can also subscribe to this tag's feed.
By Tony Attwood So with two weeks to go, what do we know? As usual I have no idea, but here's
some of my own thoughts from the last couple of days... 1: We have bought a centre forward and a
central defender and both look fairly nifty. 2: Arshavin is playing like he plays [...]
By Roxy Beaujolais, our correspondent in foreign parts. Well, my little Tour Eiffels, my little je
ne sais quoi. Tony advertised for a foreign correspondent, I replied, got the job, and he sent
me off to... Manchester. I know it is a foreign country et al, but realmente, I mean. It's not
even in Europe.
The Romans built a fort at Wigan. Thus begin all official and unofficial histories of one of
England's least known shanty towns. The problem for Wigan was that having got there the pesky
Romans took a look and immediately buggered off, leaving the village to the even peskier
Northumbrians. After 800 years they built a graveyard which [.
Today's Sponsor: Goonernews Betting Guide Back to the End of the Universe Peter Hawkins Like most
of you supporters of real football, I was feeling really pissed off by last Sunday tea-time.
"Bugger this!" I thought to myself (nobody else was listening), "I'm going out to see if I can tell
those who support the [.
By Billy "The Dog" McGraw, Professor of Post-Postprandial Philosophy, the University of Certain
Things, Frinton on Sea. Arsenal travel this weekend to the Manchester Riviera for a game next to
the sand dunes and beaches of the exotic ShipCanal on Sunday. It is a game of some significance for
me, as I have been invited [.
By Billy the Dog McGraw. This weekend we shall see the new formation at least that is my
prediction. In a second and a half I shall give you the low-down and upside down on the Castle of
Neu but first, look at this... Fabianski Sagna, Squillaci, Koscielny, Clichy Song, Wilshere
Fabregas, Nasri Walcott, [.
Warning: contains dead bodies, mild peril, partial nudity, swearing, irony and occasional
violence. "West Ham are in dire straits," said Billy the Dog, as I approached the allotment and
offered him a pint of sweet sherry. "That Mark Knoffler has lost it, the new glacier tax is
hitting them hard, and their bid to host the [.
Well, hi-de-diddley-do there. Phil's doing exams, so I'm doing the predictions and stuff.
Right, of we go... High-flying Everton travel to the Emirates aiming to continue their fantastic
run in the league. (How am I doing so far?) The Gunners dropped out of the title race when they
slumped to a 3-0 home defeat to leaders Chelsea [.
Billy the Dog was not quite in the best of moods or the finest of fettle when I met him on the
allotment to discuss the game against the almighty Notlob in the Land of the Fabled Beast. I
started by asking the question everyone asks, "Is there life in Bolton?" "It doesn't really
matter," he replied [.
Special advanced notice: although much of the commentary consists of mindless gibberish there is a
bit of serious stuff part way through, which is all true. You have to guess which bit it is. Part
the First: The Evil Empire Bolton Wanderers, known as Notlob, make the Evil Empire look like a
troupe of ballet dancers performing [.
Today's game is in the FA Cup, or Facup as it is known in the Latin tongue which still dominates
the region where Stoke play. As with all nouns in Latin the word "facup" can be conjugated and
it is vital to be able to do this properly if wishing to discourse with the locals [...]
I have been interested of late at the way the Anti-Arsenal brigade has been developing its tactics.
In the olden days (ie last year) they would mostly spend their time saying that our players were
all leaving just like Flamini and Hleb before them. Cesc was going to Barca and the world would
end. Now the reason [.
Text of Billy The Dog's interview with Ino Nothing on BBC Radio 5 previewing the Big Match.
Preliminaires Sunderland is a small village to the north of Hatfield (actually one geography book
has it north of Bradford but I don't think that is possible). The village was invaded by the
Vikings in 1227 (just before lunch) [.
. Billy the Dog explores the happy by-ways of East London Thames Ironworks, whom we play this
weekend under their new name of West Porno (the club also known as Wham), have done well over the
years, winning the West Ham Charity Cup in 1895 and then becoming Western League Division 1B
Champions to the joys of [.
Today's Sponsor: ArsenalGifts.com Today's sponsor: ArsenalGifts.com is a one-stop shop for all
things Arsenal related, from replica kits and retro shirts through to Emirates Stadium tours,
memorabilia and novelty items. They even sell "Making the Arsenal". Visit
http://www.arsenalgifts.
Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club. A resume by Billy the Dog McGraw, Landlord of the Toppled
Bollard Islington and head of the Republic of Abyssinia. "The stuffed heads of West Brom supporters
on pikes that adorn the walkways of Wolverhampton are bad enough, but what makes it worse is that
many still have dark glasses and streamers around [.
Today's Sponsor: ArsenalGifts.com is a one-stop shop for all things Arsenal related, from replica
kits and retro shirts through to Emirates Stadium tours, memorabilia and novelty items. Visit
http://www.arsenalgifts.com - Last week we had April Fools Day with all the usual stuff going up on
the web sites.
Inside informants at Tottie-Train, the Temporary Tottenham Training Turf have revealed that the
Tinies have spent lots of time looking at Arsenal and the way they have consistentlyended up
several hundred light years ahead of the Totts year after year. Of course the Tots have had some
success their secret underwater research centre in [.
A blue moon arises when a full moon appears twice in one month. It is rather dull really. There are
just about 13 full moons in a year and only 12 months, so logically one month is going to get a
second one in one month if one sees what one is saying. Calling [...]
———————— Today's Sponsor: Making the Arsenal: historical fiction on acid
——————————— THE ZEN OF ARSENAL Paul Collins I want to talk about delusion.
Delusion is a word with a variety of connotations. Some people would visualize a crazy looking
person walking down the street with a funny walk and mumbling to themselves as delusional.
———————— Today's Sponsor: Making the Arsenal: historical fiction on acid
——————————— Blackburn Rovers will forever be known in football as the
inventors of that most pernicious evil, Rotational Fouling. They later adopted the Rotational
Timewasting approach that Bolton Wanderers developed soon after, and worked with other clubs to
combine this philosophy [.
by billy the dog mcgraw, our man without capitals A crowd of about 25,000 angry football fans
stormed the FA's multi-million pound luxury residence in Cape Town last night in a spontaneous
expression of frustration and drunkenness. Once entry was gained to the complex doors were ripped
off hinges and files were opened.
By Emperor Tony Attwood It's now coming up to three years since Untold started its message of
peace, joy, economic sanity and devotion to the philosophy and methodology of Arsène Wenger.
During that same time one or two people living in that dark and evil backwater of London known as
Grub Street have gathered occasionally within their [.
By Billy The Dog McGraw, landlord of the Toppled Bollard and Rampager of the Northern Hordes.
Continuing the unique and specialised services offered to you by Untold, and having indulged in a
bottle of apple and mango juice to celebrate the new season, I present my first column of the
2010/11: to wit and viz, [.
By Walter Broeckx Two months we have been waiting That long hot summer did not seem to pass Very
slowly the hours and the days went along But finally here it is: we are back playing football
again. The days were long The papers full off rumours Will he go or not, will he stay [...]
This is overseas week on Untold Arsenal. Walter Broeckx is in Spain covering "Cesc Week" and here
is Billy's piece on tonight's game in Austria. . Unfortunately transmission lines across the ocean
are not what they might be and Walter's article wasn't listed yesterday on Goonernews, so if you
rely on that august publication, you [.
By Tony Attwood So with two weeks to go, what do we know? As usual I have no idea, but here's
some of my own thoughts from the last couple of days... 1: We have bought a centre forward and a
central defender and both look fairly nifty. 2: Arshavin is playing like he plays [...]
This is overseas week on Untold Arsenal. Walter Broeckx is in Spain covering "Cesc Week" and here
is Billy's piece on tonight's game in Austria. . Unfortunately transmission lines across the ocean
are not what they might be and Walter's article wasn't listed yesterday on Goonernews, so if you
rely on that august publication, you [.
Arsenal welcome The Creature from the Black Lagoon By Billy The Dog McGraw, Landlord of the Toppled
Bollard, Islington. At the heart of the matter there are three creatures. Oysten the Greater,
Oysten the Lesser, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. All three have a significant part to
play in the world of Blackpudlian [.
By Bogus Cheese, our man with an argument Mes cheery cheries. Bonjour, hello and what's new? A
happy Limburger to you all. Our dearest old chums of chance, the Anti-Arsenal Arsenal are up to it
again! You'd have thought they might climb back down a bit having taking such a hammering over
the question of [.
by Billy "The Dog" McGraw. As Arsenal prepare to play Bolton, or Blacheborne (a name which, as I
mentioned ahead of the fixture last year, is taken from the Old English name for bleach) Untold
Arsenal have had the privilege of an interview with Magnus Samo a notorious northern gangster whom
the police have been [.
By Billy The Dog McGraw. Allow me to explain. 02 are doing this thing with Arsenal in which they
provide entertainment and hand out some free beer, free tickets, free beer, free fun and games,
free beer, free beer, and free beer. One of these free things takes place in a tent (or "bubble" to
[...]
By Billy the Dog McGraw. Our man with a pint. Thus it was. I know the Guardian said it was 25
passes, but that's tripe. They were quite clearly drunk at the time. I could see them in their
little press boxy type thing, below us executive types in club level with me old mates [...]
By Billy the Dog McGraw This weekend Arsenal play away to Sunderland the smallest village to have a
team in the Premier League. Beer is 1/3 a pint. The Sunderland web site currently carries an
article called "Behind Enemy Lines" which features an illustration of barbed wire in what appears
to be a prisoner [.
By Tony Attwood Good news on free tickets, good news on injuries, good news about women, good news
about Carlos Vela. It is all Good, Good, Good, Good. Oh yes! First off, the two free tickets for
club level this weekend. If you read my meanderings on a regular basis, then in between your need
[...]
Arsène's huge down under By Bruce G'day all you whingeing Poms from the land Down Under, a
paradise of amber nectar, aerial ping-pong and white pointers!! Just stumbled upon your site as I
was googlin' Arse, now don't get yer knickers in a knot, it is strictly research for my own
gratification like and I [.
Back to the Future Arsenal 201 By Paul Blythe As I stand here, piping hot coffee mug cupped in
chilled hands staring out of the living room window through the distorting condensation, into the
languidly lifting mists of the street beyond. I catch a glimpse of the lovely Christine, a woman of
indeterminate age, [.
Feck! Girls! Arse nal! By Belfast Kiwi Ambrose is aptly named after his Patron Saint and is a
bit of a character that drinks down at my local Irish bar, The Shuck and Shamrock, seemingly he
lives there. There is more than a bit of Father Jack about him. Wild grey hair and fascinatingly
long [...]
By Billy "The Dog" McGraw, (ably assisted once again by his nurse). - I speak, in my headline, of
course, about the line up for the EPL game or "clash" as the media like to call it, Arsenal vs
Western Pornography. I mean, what sort of shambles of a club gets into this situation? Two [...]
By Billy "The Dog" McGraw Watching Stoke City is rather like dancing the night with a girl with no
rhythm Only to wake up with a hangover and find She won the dance competition. Lao Tzu, Chinese
philosopher, Zen Tse Province, 537 BC It has been a matter of some debate among academics how Lao
[...]
