All Tomorrow's Parties - Most popular for 2009
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As usual Phil has done an excellent, well-researched piece which tells us all we need to know (see
last post if you haven't read it you really can't watch the match without it). Which naturally
allows me a chance to do my usual jink around the fringes of reality and consider the delicate
matter of [.
Ah the joys of football. A year ago, after seeing off the club curiously known as Steve Umbrella
and having won 2 and lost 1 in the EPL we were written off. A top four finish was not possible.
The end was nigh. Mid-table beckoned. Aston "Hold Your Head" would overtake us. And you know
what? [.
Disgusting, disgraceful, appalling, shameful: I speak of course of the coverage on Sky Sports last
night. There was a moment of amusement before the game when Redknapp-the-Younger started to talk
about why UEFA was so biased (in this case against English clubs) and the chairbeing nearly fell
off his chair, chuffling like a steam train, grinning [.
15 October 2009 "'If people are stupid enough to shout abuse when I go back [to Portsmouth] they
need their heads looking at." 16 October 2009 "I know some idiots will try to have a go." 17
October 2009, The Sun: "Harry Redknapp has let rip on the eve of his explosive return to Fratton
Park. 'The phone [.
ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES: Giving you the results before the ball leaves the centre spot. When
predicting the results with the stunning accuracy of the "All Tomorrow's Parties" team it is
important to understand the opposition, their psychology and their tactics. Portsmouth have been
pursued by Sheik Yerbooty for the past 8 years, but sadly in the end [.
Last year was, according to the muddleheaded, the year of going backwards. We entered league
match number 3 with and win and a defeat, plus a comfortable saunter into the Bent Cup (as I'm now
forced to rename the Champs League). Match three was Arsenal 3 Newcastle Zebras 0. Line up was
Almunia Sagna, Toure, Gallas, Clichy Eboue (Walcott), [.
ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES: Arsenal results before the game starts. So, where were we? Everyone's been
off being kicked for their country during Cripplegate Week, and everyone is injured, so we are
putting out the under 11s for this fixture. Arshavin's out, Cesc is probably out, my cat's out (but
that's a cat-flap issue) and Theo is hiding under [.
If you have not come across "Talk like a pirate day" before, or indeed if you are not resident in
England, it may come as a bit of a shock that there is such a thing. But there is, and it has been
around for about 10 years go to http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html if you don't believe
[.
This is it: the big one for the little one's. Or "le grand un pour les petits" as they don't say in
foreign parts. Who can ever forget one year ago? There was the memory of the fact that our little
guys (with one or two biggies) had a year before smashed Liverpool at their downtrodden home [...]
Black, blackest blackness, Blackburn Rovers, your worst nightmare, the antithesis of football.
Black Blackburn, the embodiment of all darkness and evil, the beelzebub of football, the yawning
heights of the oblivion into which we fall at the end of time, when time itself winds down, to
leave an eternity of rotational fouling and an infinity of [.
Henri Lansbury - what a player in the making. If for no reason other than to see the midfielder
play for Watford you tuned into Sky last night you would have seen him score a terrific goal. A
pass, the perfect positioning for a return, heads for goal, a player on either side of him [...]
Billy "The Dog" McGraw speaks exclusively to Untold Arsenal ahead of the vital match against the
Tiny Totts. I tell you something, we ain't got a fucking chance, darling. The defence is so over
the place we could let in six. Just make it a pint Vice-Chancellor. Call themselves defenders,
they spend half their time in the [.
Walter Broeckx and Tony Attwood meet László Bölöni Most visiting teams playing at the Ems tend
to stay at the Toppled Bollard (also known as the Auld Triangle) in Islington, and so it was
natural that this week Walter, our Belgium correspondent and I (UNTOLD's resident loonie) went to
meet Transylvanian László Bölöni, manager of Royal Standard [.
All tomorrow's parties: the service that tells you the result before the game has kicked off. You
will be excused if you don't know that Celtic are playing Arsenal tonight, as the BBC has ordered a
virtual blackout of news on the game. This follows the appalling embarrassment the Corporation
faced after their "expert" Mark Lawrenson predicted [.
Welcome to the new world the world in which Arsenal have recreated a team, devised a new
free-flowing 4-3-3 system, and produced players of the highest quality who just a year ago were
derided. Welcome also to the new world in which Untold Arsenal is able to influence complete
matches and give you the score [.
Last year was, according to the muddleheaded, the year of going backwards. We entered league
match number 3 with and win and a defeat, plus a comfortable saunter into the Bent Cup (as I'm now
forced to rename the Champs League). Match three was Arsenal 3 Newcastle Zebras 0. Line up was
Almunia Sagna, Toure, Gallas, Clichy Eboue (Walcott), [.
And so it is Fulham who come under the spotlight of "All Tomorrow's Parties" the historic (not to
say hysterical) analysis of future events named after a Velvet Underground hit. (Exciting isn't
it?) Fulham: who last season caused all the posts of, "This is exactly what I feared would happen"
from the people who [.
It is interesting that few if any of our so-called journalists are doing a compare and contrast job
on Arsenal's wealth and the abject poverty of football clubs like Liverpool and Manchester U. It is
as if saving money, planning, and making money legitimately (rather than through usury) is now bad
news in the UK.
By Billy the Dog McGraw Landlord, The Toppled Bollard, Islington As usual for a Friday I trotted
off to the allotments on Hackney Marshes where I bumped into Dennis Bergkamp who was bemoaning the
state of his turnips. "But what about that Terry Enry?" I enquired, ingloriously. "But what about
my turnips?
By Billy the Dog McGraw Landlord, The Toppled Bollard, Islington As usual for a Friday I trotted
off to the allotments on Hackney Marshes where I bumped into Dennis Bergkamp who was bemoaning the
state of his turnips. "But what about that Terry Enry?" I enquired, ingloriously. "But what about
my turnips?
It was a very subdued Billy the Dog McGraw at the Toppled Bollard public house today as we gathered
just beyond our old spiritual home, deliberately drinking in the street, just to annoy the police.
The news had come through about Rob VP, another martyr to the insane stupidity of the international
friendly.
In a tearful and emotional statement, Billy The Dog McGraw, landlord of the Toppled Bollard, just
off Gillespie Road, today denied that he had had any close or passionate relationship with golf
master Tiger Woods. "It is stupid to suggest I could do such a thing," said Billy over a pint of
vodka. "Do I look [.
By Billy the Dog McGraw, Enfield Allotments, Middlesex. I have rarely seen my old mate Tony Attwood
as close to tears as he was when he approached me this morning on the allotment. I was just
nattering to that Dennis Bergkamp who grows carrots next to my plot, when Tony rushed up. "They're
all arguing with each [.
