Less than 24 hours after a study found that girls were being put off physical education at a young age because of 1) a lack of female sporting role models, and 2) the growing view that "getting sweaty" was not feminine, a chief executive of the Independent Association of Prep Schools claimed that British parents are sending their daughters to private schools to protect them from the materialistic WAG culture.

No Grand National would be complete without an appearance from The Queen of Scouse. We have no doubts that Alex Gerrard is smiling because she's just come from the "cocktails" stand and who can blame her? No Grand National event can be taken in whilst sober.

As Mrs. G "wrote" in her OK!

In the grand tradition of pop singers dating footballers, 2008 X Factor winner and actual talented singer Alexandra Burke seems to be well and truly shacked up with Tottenham Hotspur forward and dubious dater, Jermain Defoe.

Defoe's previous conquests include "models" Charlotte Mears, serial WAG Danielle Lloyd, and Chantelle Houghton (who, if you squint hard, looks like a cheaper version of Alex Gerrard).

Some of our favourite trend mongers were out and about last Thursday, with Alex Gerrard turning unfashionable street tricks as a poster girl for Isabel Marant at brunch in the midmorning. Her top, necklace, bracelets, and horrific trainers were all courtesy of the French designer, which leads us to believe she got a Net-a-Porter gift card for Christmas and, being the fashion sheep that she is, went hog wild with whatever Vogue told her was popular.

Playground night club at the Liverpool Hilton Hotel is open for business, Kickettes. Start planning your stalking/ mini-skirt schedule now chicks 'cos this place is bound to be a 'ballers-and-bubbly sure thing this Spring.

Anyhoo, representing for the loved up crowd at Liverpool designer Tony Burke's (one half of the Philip Armstrong label) was Andy Carroll and his girlfriend, as well as Djibril Cisse and wife Jude.

On the left is Sylvie van der Vaart; on the right is a Barbie in her likeness. Or maybe that's the other way around. Images via @rafvdvaart

It was only a matter of time before the living Barbie became a real Barbie, wasn't it?

Proud husband Rafael tweeted some pics of the Sylvie Barbie that was unveiled at a toy fair in Germany today.

Click here to view the embedded video.

We're quite proud of ourselves this week. Despite over-indulging a touch during the holidays, we still managed to bring the goods to the table. They included David Beckham in a state of undress, Demba Ba's favourite snack item, the Football Power Couple of the Year results and a thorough examination of aesthetic prejudices in football.

L-R: Sara Carbonero in Alaia, Sylvie van der Vaart in Georgio Armani, Irina Shayk in Alexander Wang. All images via Getty

2011 was the first full year of life for our Kickette baby, The Style Files, and it's been quite a year for WAG fashion. We brought you loads of exclusive fashion spots, shared unsolicited opinions on fashion weeks near and far and tried to use our brain power to figure out just how many black fur coats Alex Gerrard owns.

Are your Louboutins hung by the chimney with care? Have you already gotten so wasted at your office holiday party that you've had to quit your job in shame? Have you opened all of the gifts with your name on them and then re-wrapped them so no one knows about it? Then you are ready for Christmas, dear Kickettes.

Image via sabotagetimes.com

You might not think there are many downsides to working for Kickette, but there are. The actual writing, for one thing. Having to maintain constant vigilance over your secret emergency chocolate bar, for another.

That all pales in comparison to one staffer's recent assignment, though.

Nine days. That's the time it took Alex Gerrard to recoup from the birth of her third child before hitting up Cricket in Liverpool.

New world record?

We take our footwear very seriously here at HQ. While we've never come to blows over who gets to wear what shoes and when, there's a first time for everything.

Frankie Sandford is adorable. This is a fact. She's healthy again and back to making tunes with The Saturdays, which is fine and dandy.

Image via sports.ru

You all remember Yulia Voronin, right? She of the tracksuit that will never die? Of course you do.

Mrs. Voronin, whose husband Andriy formerly played for Liverpool and currently plays for Dynamo Moscow, has given a truly spectacular interview to a Russian sports site.

Only a few days ago, Alex laughed cheerily in the face of full-time employment. How times change, eh Kickettes? Image taken 21.09.2011.

Hold onto your britches, Kickettes, today's quasi-story about Alex Gerrard 'wanting to work' is a doozy.

Yes, the UK's poster girl for ladies who lunch in a leisurely manner is gonna have her own timecard to punch soon, if the rumours are true.

Pregnant 'Hollyoaks' soap actress, Sheree Murphy, showed off her thin, pregnant pins outside Alex Gerrard's baby shower at the plush Vincent Hotel in Southport. Harry Kewell's wife (pregnant with the couple's 4th) was accompanied by Cricket Boutique shop owner, Justine Mills, and a smorgasbord of gender neutral wrapped presents.

We have no clue what 'complications' mean when the term is applied to a groin strain. And quite honestly, we have no desire to know. It's never going to be good, especially when it involves Liverpool and England midfielder Steven Gerrard.

Instead, let's focus on what Alex Gerrard might be carrying as she visits her poor hubby in his hospital bed.

Are you lot going to stop riding us about dumping Fernando from the F5 list soon? When he heard about his exclusion, he upped his game, and judging by the above photo of Frank Lampard in training with Chelsea during their Malaysian tour the other day, the idea has caught on. We're doing you a favour by making them work for it, people, help us to help you!

Taking the anti-Beckham approach to baby blooming in public, Alex Gerrard proudly showed off her barely-there bump in a fitted black top whilst shopping at La Senza in Liverpool yesterday. She and her Elemis bag have a certain glow about them, don't they?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Kickette Army boys and girls, it's time to put a little deposit in your karma bank (yes, ours is overdrawn, but we'll make up for it with some short tents, pinky swearsies).

In fact, nice healthy short tents and the men who pitch them are important to all of us, so in support of Cancer Research UK's Do Me A Favour campaign, we encourage you to send any men in your lives a friendly check-up reminder from Gary Lineker.

Hmm...what do we have here?

Polished toesies in semi-normal peep toes? Check.

A plump pout in a fabulous fuchsia hue? Yup.

Tamed tresses? COMO SAY WHAAAT?!

It must be opposite day, Kickettes, because we're about to commend Carly Cole for looking good. For the second time in two months.

There's been quite an explosion of high-profile ladies linking up with La Liga stars as of late, and it's sometimes hard to make sense of the semi-translatable details, no? Google translate has yet to come up with accurate descriptors of things like "glitter Gucci belts" or "short-tents in green jeans", which can make even the most sedate La Liga loving Kickette frustrated.

Images: Antenna3 via Glamour.es. Thanks L!

Oh, looky! Aitor Ocio and his stellar abs (and bad denim) are featured in a new Glamour ES interview. What do you need to know? Aitor is a self-confessed flirt. That's the basic gist. He also talks about his ex, Lara Sanchez and their daughter. If you don't live near an internationally-stocked newsagent, we suggest you book a flight abroad and pick up a copy.

Foosball tables make Lucas Neill come over all intense-like. Image: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images AsiaPac.

Saturday

- We're still not taking sides in the Shakira/Pique relationship roundabout, but Spanish journo Javier Sarda certainly has. He added more fuel to the speculative fire by stating that the pair are more than just friends.

Image via PacificCoastNews.com

If you are in Londontown, get thee to The Mayfair Hotel stat. It's crawling with 'ballers, WAGs, celebs and hangers-on. (Well, perhaps not on a Monday afternoon, but when the weekend rolls on you best be ready with your sky-high heels, spray tan, and a well-rested liver.

Image: Facebook.

Saturday

- The Ronaldo family brought the LOLz all weekend long. While Ron and his piggy posed together, Irina Shaykweight spent NYE in Vegas and CRJR was carted around by Aveiro family members who were clad in denim eye-busters and brain bleeder white boots.