Retro Football: All Hail The BBC’s Classic, Synth-Fuelled Opening Preview For 1986 World Cup In Mexico (Video)

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ITV may have pulled a bloody decent 2018 World Cup whistle-wetter out of the bag today but it pales, pales once compared to the greatest of all time.

We are of course talking about the BBC's pre-tournament preview for the 1986 World Cup in Mexico, which featured exquisite RP diction, a pulsing power synth soundtrack, sombreros, sweaty Glenn Hoddle, excited Mexican children running through the street and oodles of futbol, futbol, futbol.

‘Forget’ – ITV Football’s New FIFA 2018 World Cup Hype Advert Is Pretty Bloody Decent (Video)

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With the start of the 2018 World Cup now just 31 sleeps away, ITV have sought to wet their prospective audience's whistle with a leading teaser advert.

The ad contains all the usual World Cup tropes which is absolutely fine by Pies as well as a few clever little inventive flourishes to symbolise incidents and occurrences at tournaments past.

Nice Touch: FC Basel Take Out Full-Page Newpaper Advert To Congratulate Rivals Young Boys On Historic Swiss Title Win (Photo)

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By Jack Beresford

FC Basel have responded in a truly sporting fashion after losing out on the Swiss Super League championship to rivals Young Boys Bern at the weekend.

Young Boys secured their first top flight title since 1986 with a 2-1 victory over Luzern at the Stade de Suisse that prompted wild celebrations among the home fans.

Retro Football Adverts: George Best Knows Girls Love Mackerel Fillets, 1969 (Video)

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At the height of his fame, back in the late 1960s, George Best was positively everywhere.

The Manchester United forward quickly attained 'pop star' status and as such his face was used to shill such glamorous products as sausages, eggs, and cheese and onion crisps.

Modern Football Is Rubbish: Juventus Hold Mock Press Conference To Welcome ‘Two New Signings’ On Board (Video)

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As modern professional football and vapid commercial endeavour continue to stride merrily hand-in-hand toward complete and hopeless saturation, Juventus have gone ahead and filed their latest offering.

Indeed, the Serie A giants have press-ganged Paulo Dybala, Douglas Costa, Federico Bernardeschi and Rodrigo Bentacur into staging a mock press conference to help unveil a pair of new signings signings famous for their "perfect shape" and "delicious skills".

Classic Football Adverts: Tony Adams Acts His Wooden Backside Off After Being Kidnapped By Jaffa Cake Gonks, 1998 (Video)

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As ever with a lucrative World Cup on the horizon, the great and the good of the advertising realm began shoehorning England players into their commercials to help shill their wares in the build up to France '98.

One such player was Tony Adams, who was roped in by McVities for a Jaffa Cakes campaign to help promote their new line of collectable orange 'gonks' a nefarious gang of Koosh balls with various facial features and limbs attached.

Classic Football Adverts: Reebok Spluff £3m To Employ Cavalcade Of Nineties Pop Culture Royalty For ‘Theatre Of Dreams’ Commercial, 1998 (Video)

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While their presence in the football realm has waned since, Reebok were a big player on the scene throughout the 1990s and early 2000s, with Ryan Giggs, Dennis Bergkamp and Thierry Henry just three notable patrons.

Indeed, the brand went big in an effort to launch their new Sidewinder boot in 1998, assembling a cornucopia of Nineties' pop culture icons asRobbie Williams, Anna Friel, Sting, Reeves & Mortimer, Jarvis Cocker, Darling Dicky Attenborough, David Mellor, Tom Jones, Steven Berkoff, Sylvester McCoy, Gary Oldman, Jose Carreras, Chris Eubank, Warren Mitchell and Wallace & Gromit all playing their respective parts.

Classic Football Adverts: Alan Shearer Is Wooden As You Like In Timeless McDonald’s ‘Autograph’ Sketch, 1998 (Video)

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"Woor'll 'ave a fillet-oo-fish an a box of chickn dippahs an meerk it snappy lad..."

With all the will in the world, with his furrowed brow and voice less melodious than a dot-matrix printer, Alan Shearer simply is not a font of natural charisma.

As such, it shouldn't come as much surprise that the-then Newcastle striker struggled to inject much life into his dialogue after being plonked in the middle of a McDonald's advert duringthe run-up to the 1998 World Cup.

Classic Football Adverts: Eric Cantona Shills For Eurostar In His Own Inimitable Style, 1997 (Video)

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At the end of the 1996/97 season, Eric Cantona shocked Manchester United by bringing his professional career to a premature end when he reached the conclusion that, at the age of 30, he was pig soddin' sick of being told what time he had to go to bed.

I loved the game but I no longer had the passion to go to bed early, not to go out with my friends, not to drink, and not to do a lot of other things, the things I like in life.

Retro Football Adverts: Joe Jordan Replenishes Missing Teeth With Quick Swig Of Heineken, 1978 (Photo)

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While you'd be hard-pushed to call Joe Jordan "beautiful" in the conventional sense, there was still a undeniable ragged, brawny charm to the toothless Scotland target man.

Indeed, Jordan lost four of his front teeth early on in his career when he had them kicked out during a reserves match at Leeds United.

Retro Football: Brian Clough’s Quartet Of Classic Adverts For Shredded Wheat, 1991/92 (Video)

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As he made a point of telling everybody all the time, Brian Clough really wasn't one to suffer flashy prima donna players gladly.

So it might come as something of a surprise that Cloughie dabbled in a few endorsement shills over the years, including a starring role in this series of adverts for Shredded Wheat from 1991 and 1992.

Fowl Play: Celebrating The Anniversary Of Blackburn’s Paradigm-Shifting Venkys Chicken Advert, 2011 (Video)

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When we talk about momentous, paradigm-shifting moments in modern football, they don't come much more seismic than thecontribution made to the pantheon by Blackburn Rovers onJune 28th, 2011.

Having taken over the previous year, Blackburn's new poultry-peddling owners Venkys decided to use their glamorous Premier League asset to help promote their fowl wares.

Classic Football Adverts: Peter Schmeichel Sings For His Supper In Danepak Danish Bacon Commercial, 1998 (Video)

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The year was 1998 and Danepak had a line of classic dry cure bacon they needed to flog on UK television.

Obviously, the advert in question was for Danish produce and also involved singing so Peter Schmeichel, Manchester United and Denmark goalkeeper and the son of a concert pianist, was the obvious choice.

Portuguese Commercial Sees Cristiano Ronaldo Reenacting Classic Scenes From ‘Home Alone’ (Video)

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If you've ever wondered just how 'Home Alone' would look if the small blonde child playing Kevin McAllister were replaced by a shirtless, oiled, muscle-bound adult male, then wonder no longer Cristiano Ronaldo is here to oblige.

At the behest of Portugeuese telecommunications company MEO, Ronaldo has recreated several scenes from 1990's classic of the parental neglect genre, including the iconic 'aftershave scream' and the 'Keep the change, ya filty animal' bit.

Video: Man Utd stars Rio Ferdinand, Anders Lindegaard and Patrice Evra star in Western-themed advert

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Manchester United team-mates Rio Ferdinand and Anders Lindegaard have taken each other on in a duel. The pair ditched the traditional cowboy gear and pistols in favour of... a penalty kick. Ferdinand and Lindegaard battle it out under the watchful eye of Patrice Evra.

Video: Roma’s Francesco Totti stars in arty advert about the derby with Lazio

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This short commercial for AS Roma takes football marketing to a deeper level then it usually goes. Francesco Totti is the film noir-style protagonist, captured looking moody in the build-up to the Rome derby against Lazio as he narrates his relationship with a veteran Roma fan.

Be Mercurial: Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo stars in an arty new Nike video

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It looks a bit like a football-themed disaster movie at first, then it looks a bit like the Matrix... but it's actually an advert for Nike's new Mercurial boots. We finally know why Cristiano Ronaldo uses quite so much hair gel: so he can continue to perform in even the windiest of conditions.

David Villa Wrecks Police Car In ‘Need For Speed’ Advert That Was Banned By Barcelona (Video)

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By Chris Wright

This 'ere is the 'Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit' advert from a couple of years ago in which David Villa totals a police car with nowt but a football an advert that was buried by Barcelona, who presumably weren't too keen for their €40million signing to be seen as a wanton vandal.

Ben Arfa’s Brilliant Goal And Match Highlights – Video

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Ben Arfa's Brilliant Goal against Aston Villa in 1-1 draw You have to wait of the advert finishing. And here are the highlights..... including Villa's goal.

FIFA 13 Advert Sees Harry Redknapp Acting His Jowls Off Alongside Messi, Benzema, Hart, Oxlade-Chamberlain (Video)

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By Chris Wright

The new televisual advert for FIFA 13 (demo available from 11th September, game released 28th September) has just been dumped in our laps, so here it bloody well is who knew 'Arry Redknapp was RADA trained?

Video: EA Sports Football

Video: Chris Kamara gets naked for new advert

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It looks like Chris Kamara and Italian commentary legend Tiziano Crudeli are signed up to do a series of spoof adverts for Ladbrokes. And the next one off the production line sees Kammy getting his kit off. The Sky Sports presenter gives the best footballing shampoo advert since Jason McAteer was in his heyday before [.

Harry Redknapp Back In Work, Shills For Sky Sports – Typing Scene Punches Big Holes In Tax Evasion Defence? (Video)

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By Chris Wright

Harry Redknapp is back in work, shilling for Sky Sports by plugging their new Fantasy Football game in an advert in which he can clearly been seen operating a computer keyboard with impressive dexterity (we estimate a typing rate of approx 70 words a minute your honour) despite trotting out the old 'How could I diddle me taxes?

Manchester United

Photo: Wayne Rooney celebrates away from his Man Utd team-mates

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In case anybody was still unsure about Wayne Rooney's current levels of happiness a Manchester United, he provided this rather neat illustration during yesterday's victory over Swansea. Rooney was alone in splendid isolation as the rest of United's team celebrated. To be fair, it was a surprise to even see him on the pitch, let [.

Thiago Alcantara cropped out of Barcelona advert. Is Man Utd move imminent?

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Rumours that Thiago Alcantara is close to joining Manchester United have been given extra weight after the Barcelona youngster was cropped out of an advert for the club's new kit. The midfielder was originally featured alongside Gerard Pique, Lionel Messi, Andres Iniesta, Xavi and Carlos Puyol in an advert released by the Spanish champions.

Advertising hoardings mock Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s transfer request

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A cheeky advert for Teletext Holidays poked fun at want-away Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney during last night's match between Brazil and England. The hoardings read: "Desperate to get away like Wayne?" Rooney himself would not have been offended by the advert. It did not appear in the stadium and was instead overlaid on top [.

OTP Rebounds: Anger management for Liverpool’s Luis Suarez, Sunderland’s ‘Who Made Pardew Cry?’ t-shirts and Man Utd’s Shinji Kagawa with talking animals

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Playing tiki-taka with the interwebs PSG's Thiago Silva scores incredible disallowed goal from the by-line [101GG] Bitey Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has been offered anger management classes by the PFA [Guardian] Norwegian side return for pre-season training to discover a road has been built over their pitch [Pies] Sunderland fans spotted wearing rushed-into-production 'Who Made [.

Top 10 conclusions: FA Cup third round weekend

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1. Luis Suarez: controversy seeks him out like a ball to an outstretched hand. 2. FA Cup third weekend was a great advert for the January transfer window. With Demba Ba and Daniel Sturridge both on target on their debuts, perhaps it's not such a bad time to splash your cash. 3. Hastings striker Bradley [.

Tottenham Hotspur

Spanish daily Marca says ‘mysterious’ Gareth Bale injury points to Real Madrid move

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The injury that has ruled Gareth Bale out of Tottenham's friendly against Sunderland is merely a cover story as he forces through a transfer to Real Madrid, according to a Spanish newspaper. Marca irked Spurs supporters with yesterday's splash claiming that Bale had agreed personal terms with Real. They've now followed that up with a [.

ITV cut-away from Lyon vs Tottenham to show you the Newcastle team bus

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ITV's nasty habit of interrupting live football matches to show something not quite as important continued last night. In the past it's been a Tic-Tac advert and their newsreader, but last night they broke off from the closing moments of the first-half of Lyon vs Tottenham to show you... a team bus. We've seen most [.


Breakfast bonkers! Reading’s Sean Morrison dedicates himself to eating every supermarket cereal

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We all had the instinct that professional footballers have too much on their hands but now we finally have it indisputably confirmed. Step forward Reading centre-back Sean Morrison. For no discernible reason, he's challenging himself to sample every single cereal for sale down his local supermarket. We'll hand it over to Sean himself to [.

Scottish football fan picked out of the crowd to score equaliser

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Now, I hope that all readers hated the Euro 2012 Mars advert where a man was picked out of the crowd to save some Dutch penalties. It's cheesiness genuinely made me feel ill. But, as ever, real life has gone and been more suprising than fiction. When Scotland Ladies took on their Norwegian counterparts in [.

Wayne Rooney

MARCA Compile List Of Top 10 Highest Paid Players In The World

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By Chris Wright

Just to compound Cristiano Ronaldo's narcissistic woes, here's MARCA's little infographic of the highest paid players (salary-wise) in world football as is...

You've got to sympathise with Ron. How's a chap supposed to survive on a measly €10 million a year?

Coleen Rooney: Retro Revival

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Image: Littlewoods. In a challenging period for our snarky sides, Coleen Rooney is turning back the hands of advert time for her latest Littlewoods campaign. While we have to give Mrs Rooney props for successfully recycling many of the 20th century's less flattering looks, this pic in particular is giving us polyester flashbacks to the tune of Three's [.

Commercials and Adverts

FIFA 13 TV Ad “Join The Club” Features Some Great Music

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Wieden & Kennedy Amsterdam take you on a rollicking ride through the FIFA 13 "clubhouse," where real soccer players and their gamer fans connect. A new FIFA player enters the club for the first time, and then goes on a mad dash around the place. The ad has cameos of Lionel Messi, Cahill, Hart, Benzema, Oxlade-Chamberlain, and Harry Redknapp, FIFA 13′s club is a place where all of your football and gaming fantasies come to life.

Andres Iniesta Nike Football CTR360 Maestri III “Take Control” Ad

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Nike Football introduces the CTR360 Maestri III football boot with a new commercial entitled "Take Control" featuring FC Barcelona soccer great Andres Iniesta. The advert showcases Iniesta and the competition as string puppets before reverting to real life footballers.

Ad Credits:
The music in Nike commercial is Zigeunerweisen, Op.

Captain Morgan Party Like a Champion Advert

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The Captain, Captain Morgan gets footy/soccer fans from all over the world to Party Like A Champion in this brilliant advert for the Captain's Whiskey which features a the music and should very well be a popular anthem around the world.

When it comes to legendary partying, Captain Morgan always leads from the front.

The Rest

‘We Are Proud To Face You’ – PSG Take Out Adverts In Various Newspapers To Congratulate Les Herbiers On Reaching Coupe De France Final (Photos)

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PSG have paid to place a number of adverts in various newspapers and magazines to congratulate their opponents, Les Herbiers, on reaching the Coupe de France final.

The two sides will meet at the Parc des Princes on Tuesday night in what looks like a formality as PSG look to wrap up their fourth consecutive cup.

Advert mocking Chelsea striker Fernando Torres returns to Stamford Bridge

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Remember the Paddy Power billboard situated next to Stamford Bridge that mocked Fernando Torres? After a protracted legal process, Chelsea eventually won the right to have the advert removed on the grounds that it damaged Torres' image rights. But just days after the local council agreed and pulled the billboard down, it's back in digital [.

New advert for the Premier League is actually a terrible ‘advert for the Premier League’

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A new advert for the Premier League has received a widespread panning for being, in truth, "a terrible advert for the Premier League". Fans and critics alike have dismissed the advert for being unrealistic, bombastic, and worst of all a bit silly.

The advert, which featured a soundtrack somehow combining indie-rock, dubstep and a gravel voiced Scottish man reading naunprecedentedlyalliterative poem that may as well have been written by a 12-year-old, was shown for the first time at an all star gala co-hosted by Mark "Clem" Clement and Tim "44″ Lovejoy.

Sponsored video: adidas launches Space Diver

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Sportwear giants adidas have teamed up with Foot Locker to unveil their newest and perhaps most stylish basketball-inspired shoe yet: the Space Diver. The below video shows the Space Diver pioneer American rap star Snoop introducing the new shoe to the world, showcasing its navy color with stunning green flair and accents of silver leather.