AAAAHHHHHHHH I AM ARTUR BORUC AND THIS IS A LIST OF THINGS THAT MADE ME ANGRY THIS WEEK:

1. GET OUT OF MY WAY -- WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME???!??!?!?!? WHY!?!?!?!?!

2. ZLATAN IBRAHIMOVIC SLAPPING PEOPLE -- IS IT STILL THE YEAR 1992 WHEN MEN WOULD SETTLE THEIR DIFFERENCES WITH A SLAP AND A DUEL WHILE MC HAMMER'S "2 LEGIT 2 QUIT" PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND?

Photo: Nick Waters

Philadelphia Union

Porfirio Lopez describes what he will bring to the Union: "Having a winning mentality is the most important thing in soccer. I'm going to try to bring my experiences and positive attitude into the group. Without a doubt, winning championships is the priority.

World's worst room service Corinthians are keeping their biggest star (literally) under house arrest in a bid to halt the seemingly unstoppable expansion of his waistline. Former Inter Milan star Adriano is being kept under lock and key at a hotel after the club decided to show tough love to their striker to help his [.

Adriano is both one of the most gifted strikers of his generation and one of the most disappointing, ballooning to Ronaldo's late-career playing weight right smack in the middle of his prime, among other, non-gravitational-field-related issues (drinking, partying, shooting people, etc). Now at Corinthians and fresh off an Achilles injury and platter of Happy Meals, he's back in trouble for being fat.

Having mastered the art of kicking teammates, Zlatan Ibrahimovic has now moved on to slapping opponents. Zlatan was sent off in the 64th minute of Milan's 0-0 draw against Napoli for reaching around teammate Antonio Nocerino to slap Salvatore Aronica in the face. If the slap is ruled to be a violent gesture, then Ibra will have to serve a three-match ban.

FC Barcelona could have handed over the Liga title to Real Madrid unofficially after drawing away at 17th placed Villareal. The lead at the top of the summit is seven points which could be too much for our boys to climb. Already with a very depleted side, we weren't helped by Guardiola's decision making all night.

Real Madrid bounced back from their midweek Copa del Rey defeat to Barcelona with a comeback 4-1 victory over 10-man Athletic Bilbao that kept them five points clear at the top of the Primera Division.

In-form Athletic had threatened to add to Madrid's misery following their 2-1 home loss to Barca in the first leg of their cup quarter-final tie when Fernando Llorente gave them an early lead.

Lionel Messi scored his first away hat-trick of the season to give Barca a comfortable 4-1 victory over Malaga. The match wasn't as comfortable as the score-line suggest. In the first half Malaga had some serious chances and ended as 1-0. Rondon scored the consolation goal for Malaga.

We watched Wednesday's Clásico in its entirety with spirited company at WoodworkBK. We had the sense then that Barcelona slowly took control after the early goal by Cristiano Ronaldo, and that Pepe was terrible. Watch this extended highlight clip, which should reinforce the conclusions that (a) Barcelona completely dominated after about the 25′ mark, and (b) Pepe was a complete embarrassment and not only for the already-infamous Messi hand stamp:

Real Madrid v Barcelona by vynylr

Acting!

Big football star has a disastrous off-pitch incident involving gun play in which a woman is shot (non-fatal, of course). Victim initially tells police the footballer fired the gun.

After a few days the victim changes her story and suddenly, she's the one who fired the gun.

And what exactly are you thinking?

According to the description (good luck getting a universally accepted tally on this stat), guess who's currently leading Big Europe in assists this season? Yup.

It's pretty unfair when he's surrounded by that type of talent, given the fact that rolling one onto the boot of a teammate is like rolling Adriano into a buffet he's very unlikely to fluff his chance.

Uh-oh Adriano, what have you gotten yourself into this time? It seems trouble never stops following the Corinthians player, who has sadly fallen out of favour with many Brazilian fans because of his attitude. This time, however, the circumstances are in his favour.

AC Milan striker Filippo Inzaghi could be on his way out of the San Siro according to Milan Vice President Adriano Galliani. The 38 year old veteran striker has failed to make an impact in Allegri's squad this season and with the impending arrival of Carlos Tevez next month, Inzaghi's chances of playing look dimmer and dimmer.

Former Inter Milan and As Roma striker Adriano is once again making headlines for the wrong reasons. The 29 year old who has struggled with an alcohol addiction for most of his professional career, was allegedly involved in an early Friday morning shooting that left a young female injured.

Now, here is where the story gets interesting.

Neymar oh Neymar, você esqueceu o seu ... concealer?!! (did you forget your concealer?) Oh never mind all that make-up, tomorrow is the World Club Cup final between Santos and Barcelona. With all that hype surrounding Neymar in recent days (oh come on, you guys are late to the party!

Barcelona will be without striker David Villa for at least 6 moinths after the striker broke his leg in Barcelona's 4-0 rout over Al-Sadd in the World Club Cup semi-finals today. There was no dirt in the tackle which seen Villa unleash a shot under pressure from a defender before both took a tumble and Villa immediately signalled to the bench he was injured, eventually being stretchered off with his side leading 1-0 thanks to a major blooper from the opposing keeper let in adriano for his first of two goals.

Barcelona have set up a dream FIFA Club World Cup final against Santos by defeating Al-Sadd 4-0 today. The Barca victory though was dampered by the broken leg to striker David Villa, that will keep the Barca striker out of action for around six months.

The Villa's injury aside, this was more like a training exercise for Barcelona as Al-Sadd is not in the same class.

Barcelona have set up a dream FIFA Club World Cup final against Santos by defeating Al-Sadd 4-0 today. The Barca victory though was dampered by the broken leg to striker David Villa, that will keep the Barca striker out of action for around six months.

The Villa's injury aside, this was more like a training exercise for Barcelona as Al-Sadd is not in the same class.

Barcelona eases past Saudi Arabian club Al Sadd as Adriano scores a brace in the first half taking advantage of some shoddy defending. Seydou Keita and Maxwell rounded off the tally in the second half.

Barca's entry into the finals was not without a price as David Villa broke his leg and could face up to six months off the field making him a serious doubt for the Euro campaign.

A contendere al Santos il Mondiale per Club 2011, in una finale che si annuncia emozionante, e che vedr la supersfida tra Neymar e Messi, sar il Barcellona di Guardiola, vittorioso con un perentorio 4 a 0 con l'Al Sadd, Campione d'Asia in carica nella seconda semifinale che si è disputata questa mattina.

They say good things come to those who are patient and Milan are very much practicing this line of thought at the moment. After having reached an agreement with Manchester City's Carlos Tevez for a loan move in January, the Italian champions are yet to agree on the deal with his English employers. But, Adriano [.

Big news today from the defending Spanish and European champions that Andres Iniesta will miss the huge champions league tie with AC Milan on Wednesday with a thigh injury.

A statement on the club's website confirmed that the midfielder will not travel to Italy as "a precaution", joining the suspended Dani Alves and injured duo Adriano and Ibrahim Afellay on the sidelines.

Felizzzz Segunda-Feira! It's Match day today as Brazil prepare to take on Egypt tonight in Doha, Qatar! Aaah, Doha, we remember the PAIN you put us through with our luggage and your never-ending steps that needed climbing in the coldness of Doha Airport.

Bem-vindo to Day 3 of Selecao Bootcamp! These Brazilian caras are still in Libreville, Gabon where they're scheduled to play a friendly as part of the inauguration of the newly-built 'Friendship stadium' below today. As we mentioned, the guys have been training hard and Menezes just announced his starting line-up with Hulk and Jonas leading the attack today.

Brazil coach Mano Menezes has already picked his eleven players that will start against Gabon on Thursday. Menezes gives Valencia keeper, Diego Alves, and Benfica midfielder, Bruno César, their first caps.
Injuries have robbed the coach of Real Madrid's Kaká and Marcelo and Bayer Munich's Luiz Gustavo.

Fabregas goal not enough for win against Bilbao (Photo: REUTERS/Felix Ordonez)

It was one for the ages, as Barcelona and Atletic Bilbao battled to a thrilling 2-2 draw under torrential rain in Spain's Basque Country.

Despite the gloomy conditions and sodden pitch, Barca were able to quickly settle into their grove, stringing together passes and creating chances.

It took an injury time goal from Lionel Messi to salvage a point for Barca at San Mames. With this draw Barca found themselves trailing leaders Real Madrid by three points. This is the first time Guardiola's team is trailing their arch rivals by more than two points. This result has put the emphasis in the league back to Real madrid as they could aproach the home match against us on December 10 with a bit of ease.

Don't get too excited yet that's an old picture of Kaka and Adriano (who is clearly no longer Brazil's 'imperador'!) in a chartered plane. Anyway, Selecao Bootcamp kicks off this week with two friendlies scheduled against Gabon and Egypt, and Brazil's technical committee are already on their way to Libreville, the capital of Gabon in west central Africa.

The transactions have mimicked the play on the field - fast and furious as MISL teams finalize rosters, unveil uniforms, and prepare for the upcoming 2011-2012 season.
Here is a recap of all the happenings so far this week around MISL:
MISL Comets Season Preview: Read Here
Baltimore Blast add Three
Baltimore Blast President and General Manager Kevin Healey announced today that forward Adriano Dos Santos will return to the Blast this season and that the team has signed defender Mike Deasel and midfielder JT Noone, pictured, pending league approval.

Bem-vindo a Bootcamp Monday! We're almost reaching the end of this month's edition as Brasil prepares to face Mexico in a friendly tomorrow. We know there are many Mexican Futbolita readers, so if you'd like to say "OIII!" to Mano's men, they're putting up at Hotel Camino Real, where a churro or two would be most welcome if you'd like to slip past those buff security guys (just kidding).

Chelsea's David Luiz

Brazil face Costa Rica in an international friendly in San Jose this evening. Mano Menezes is expected to pair David Luiz and Thiago Silva in the centre of defence with Manchester United's Fábio on the right and Barcelona's Adriano on the left flank. Neymar and Fred will lead the line with Lucas Moura and Ronaldinho in support.

La settima giornata della Liga porta il nome di Higuain, perchè l'attaccante del Real Madrid si è reso assoluto protagonista della sfida con l'Espanyol, club di Barcellona: la tripletta dell'argentino nel 4-0 finale, grazie anche al sigillo di Callejon, ha portato i blancos di Mourinho al terzo posto in classifica, ad un solo punto dal [.

Adriano's goal leads FC Barcelona past Sporting Gijon (Photo: Getty Images)

After back-to-back 2-2 draws on the road to Real Sociedad and Valencia, Barcelona rebounded with a hard-fought 1-0 victory away to bottom of the table Sporting Gijon, in a result that sees the Catalans ascend to top of La Liga standings.

Adriano's goal at Sporting Gijon on Sunday meant that Pep Guardiola's team set another Spanish League record, chalking up the 24th away game on the run in which they have scored.

Barça equalled the league record away to Valencia, which was previously held by Real Madrid since 1953, when they scored in every away game from week 27 in the 1950/51 season until week 12 in the 1952/53 campaign, recording 6 wins, 7 draws and 10 defeats.

FC Barcelona head into the international break on top of La Liga after a 1-0 victory at Real Sporting de Gijón on a weekend when the chasing pack also all won.

Josep Guardiola's titleholders were made to work hard for their victory on Sunday evening, Adriano's 12th-minute goal all that separated the sides.

Gonzalo Higuain scored an impressive hat-trick in Barcelona as Real Madrid claimed an emphatic 4-0 victory over Espanyol in Sunday night's late kick-off.

Earlier on, Espanyol's cross-town rivals Barca had cruised to the top of the La Liga table as Adriano's lone strike guided the reigning champions to a 1-0 win at Sporting Gijon.

Luana Pires Kisner. E' questo il nome completo della nuova "Imperatrice". La bellissima ragazza brasiliana, modella ed istruttrice di educazione fisica (dal passato lavorativo in varie emittenti televisive sudamericane) di soli 22 anni, ha stregato (per capire tutto, basta vedere le foto) l'ex imperatore nerazzurro, Adriano, classe 1982, pizzicato in sua compagnia dai paparazzi.

Iniesta out four weeks following hamstring tear against AC Milan (Photo: Reuters Pictures)

Last week FC Barcelona lost winger Alexis Sanchez for eight weeks with a thigh injury suffered in their 2-2 league draw against Real Sociedad.

Last night in Barcelona's 2-2 draw against AC Milan in Champions League play they suffered another injury to their starting lineup.

Visiting Anoeta stadium is becoming a head-ache for Guardiola. Last season we ended losing well after we secured the title, this season it was an improvement with a 2-2 draw. By doing this Guardiola has continued the glorified tradition of dropping point of the second league match, last time we lost to Hercules.

Carles Puyol returns from injury (Photo: Getty Images)

Great news came today from all places, Twitter!

Captain Carles Puyol announced via his personal Twitter page that he is finally returning to action following a three month hiatus due to a knee injury.

Puyol has been sidelined since May, missing out on the clubs entire summer tour and the first La Liga match of the season.