So your favourite Churrascaria King, Adriano, wants you to know that he never used drugs in his life and is annoyed that people are throwing all these unjust accusations at him! Relax, mano... tudo é bom. You know that Senhor Mourinho still keeps your file at home and occasionally sifts through it when he's not on Skype with Z-Ibracadabra!

The first weekend of MLS action is done and dusted, with plenty to deduce. All 16 teams took the field, for better or for worse, and with it the preseason became a distant memory. While it's too early to draw any conclusions, much can be learned from an opening weekend that some managers will delight in, while others will want to quickly forget.

Cristiano Ronaldo once again did not score but not because of the lack of trying. He got a number of chances but failed to convert.

What must have heartened Carlos Quieroz was that Portugal was able to find goals from other sources including two from Raul Miereles and the final goal by Nani.

This is just weird.

Apparently a wily old character has been wreaking havoc on the Cobham training facility. His prey? Player underpants. You read that correctly.

The assailant, yet to be identified, has been a regular visitor to the locker rooms at Cobham over the past year.

By Ollie Irish

Please, no accusations that I've gone all John Motson up in here. I do see a likeness between Richards and soon-to-be City team-mate Balotelli. Perhaps it's in the artistic hair.

Send your lookalike, no matter how shit, to ollie@anorak.

I've been enjoying the stories coming out of Manchester United in the last couple of days. Right from the start of the season we could sense that something was not right at Old Trafford and now we're getting a good idea why.

First it was Fergie who came out with some very harsh comments about Rooney.

The man in black is Jack Warner, the CONCACAF President and FIFA Executive Committee member who just finished voting on the selection of World Cup 2018 and 2022. A long-time target of corruption allegations, Warner is under fresh claims of shady behavior amid new reports suggesting that he did not vote for the United States in its bid to host the 2022 World Cup.

While his Wolves side weren't able to earn a valuable victory over West Ham, Mick McCarthy was able to hit back at Danny Murphy, with a comment in a press conference summing up the universal disagreement that has followed the Fulham midfielders attack on managers who ‘encourage' bad tackles.

Well that's enough to ruin anyone's faith in the future of society, isn't it?

The man who's been the butt of every punchline imaginable, who can't find the light from accusations of rampant corruption, and who's never thought twice to say something unthinkably idiotic, is one of the world's most powerful people.

Plenty of positives to look back on...and some negatives.

First of all, slightly late but anyway, congratulations to Chelsea. Ignoring all the obvious accusations of cheating, better treatment from referees, conspiracies, whatever, they have won the Premier League title because they gained a point more than us.

photo credit: az1172

Perhaps now we know why Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, so quickly ended his pursuit of Karim Benzema this summer, when everybody was expecting him to pounce, and continually ruled out an approach for Frank Ribery, despite applauding his talents.

The man in black is Jack Warner, the CONCACAF President and FIFA Executive Committee member who just finished voting on the selection of World Cup 2018 and 2022. A long-time target of corruption allegations, Warner is under fresh claims of shady behavior amid new reports suggesting that he did not vote for the United States in its bid to host the 2022 World Cup.

The 2010 Major League Soccer season may still kick off as planned, without a delay in the start of the season, but the process to get to that point is going to be a messy one after labor talks went public on Friday, leading to an ugly back-and-forth that might just be the beginning of a lengthy battle.

Apparently nearly four years removed from his now infamous head butt on Marco Materazzi, Zinedine Zidane still refuses to apologize. I'm not here to judge him, he claims Materazzi said some pretty questionable things about his mother and we all know how guys generally are about people talking about their momma.

It's off to see the future, and then the wizard.

Qatar has no time for World Cup 2010 they're looking to the future and beyond with their futuristic World Cup 2022 bid. It's an awfully tantalizing bid for a number of reasons billions of them, in fact; reasons which make it seem an awfully likely candidate, particularly if FIFA conduct business as usual.

During an interview with www.the-afc.com, general manager Adebayo Gadebo (pictured below) has asked Thai football fans to back Thai Port in the AFC Cup quarter final against Kuwaiti side Al-Qadsia. The Nigerian would like the fans to be Port's 12th man in what will be a tough match for the team from Khlong Toei, but he knows that supporters of other Thai sides could be put off from going to Suphachalasai Stadium, as a result of the crowd trouble involving some Thai Port fans that marred the Kor Royal Cup match in February.

Wayne Rooney is the subject of an interesting article which was published in the New York Times yesterday. Given the US and England meet in nine days time, the content is fascinating. It's almost as if the writer wanted to praise Rooney but couldn't resist some well timed digs at his on and off field activities.

The Brazilian referee appointed for England's opening Group C game against the USA was suspended last season by his national federation amid accusations of bribery and incompetence.
Carlos Eugênio Simon, who has officiated at the last two World Cup finals, was stood down by the Brazilian football confederation for the final six weeks of the domestic campaign after a build-up of perceived errors culminated in the president of Palmeiras denouncing him as "a crook, a scoundrel and a shameless bastard".

Bastian Schweinsteiger with a bit of inverse diplomacy. Jogi Löw with a bit more respect. Michael Ballack with a bit of moral support. Germany with a bit of an injury problem.

Typical Argentines: It seems the 2006 World Cup quarter final has left some marks on Bastian Schweinsteiger. During a press conference on Wednesday, Schweinsteiger used the stage for a little rant about all the negative traits of Argentine players, which then quickly degenerated into a Sir Alex Ferguson "typical German" styled outburst.

From the moment the Cesc Fabregas transfer saga started, there have been various counter accusations from both Arsenal and Barcelona fans. Blogs are the medium of communication in the modern world and promptly became the battle ground between Gunner and Cules. I believe the whole story started with Guillem Balague writing about a meeting that has taken place between Fabregas and Arsene Wenger He reported that Fabregas requested Wenger to allow him to move to Barca.

In a parallel world, one where my life is more than a stuttering series of disappointments, I might well have been in Slovenia watching Hibs tonight. Every cloud and all that.
Were Nigel Farage and Richard Littlejohn ever to have a lovechild - and please take as long as you want to mull over that particular image - it's unlikely that said bairn would manage to have a more fractious relationship with Europe than our SPL clubs are enduring at the moment.

Modern footballers are accused of quite a bit. From being whiny, dive-y and lacking perspective to, such as the case with Marlon King, being easily aggrieved when someone doesn't know who they are. Some even get caught not checking the paperwork when hiring prostitutes.

However, those accusations don't usually include something to the level of murder.

This blog is not going to pass judgement on Wayne Rooney following lurid allegations made by the gutter press over the weekend. It is hoped the accusations are not true, for the sake of all concerned. But if the claims are true, then there's no better manager in the game to turn to. Ferguson is the master of man-management, he famously brought Cantona back from the brink on more than one occasion

You may remember the UEFA Cup (yes, UEFA Cup) semifinal in which Zenit St. Petersburg, then a relative unknown on the European landscape, beat the pride out of Bayern Munich 4-0. You may also remember the (fairly ludicrous) allegations that Bayern punted the game at the 'request' of the Russian mafia.

It's already not been the best of weeks for Liverpool. A defeat at Manchester United is never easy to take, but now former manager Rafa Benitez has revealed some worrying information about the clubs hierarchy.

Pressure on the decision makers at Anfield is already at fever pitch, and Benitez's accusations will only add further strain to the relationship between the Liverpool board and the clubs fans.

Iker Casillas' kissing buddy Sara Carbonero accidentally ignited a story earlier this week when she mentioned that Cristiano Ronaldo was selfish. The fact that she mentioned this while defending Ronaldo didn't prevent some accusatory headlines. Ms. Carbonero didn't choose her words very wisely, especially for someone who should know a little something about how reporting works (take the juiciest looking quote, and run with it).

FIFA, the football world governing body, has endured a miserable few months since the end of the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa. Although the tournament in South Africa passed off without any mishap or major problems there were some issues concerning the non payment of tax on profits during the tournament, the lack of grass-roots development of football in Africa and the issuing and pricing of match tickets for matches during the tournament.

By Ollie Irish

Action: Drawing 0-0 at home against struggling Birmingham City (hardly the most positive team in the Premier League), Man City boss Roberto Mancini decides to take off Carlos Tevez and replace him with... Gareth Barry.

Reaction: City fans break into a chant of "What the fuck is going on?

Accusations that the England NT are pampered were initially denied by the FA. Then this photo of Joe Hart's personal wedgie removalist emerged. Image via ontd_football

Let me get a couple of things out of the way first. First, corruption happens in every country around the world, and it happens every day. Second, there are plenty of people in very corrupt countries who are not corrupt, and there are lots of people in very clean countries who are corrupt. It's just that in more corrupt countries more people are corrupt.

While this weekend's football extravaganza in the city of Barcelona made for instant gratification, a more intriguing story developed as England's bid for the 2018 suffered a huge blow. The strangest thing about it was that it wasn't delivered by one the nations against which England is competing; it came from the BBC.

So the ups and not so ups of this season continued last night as we drew 2-2 away to Wigan.

Hugely disappointing, especially under the circumstances. They had just been reduced to 10 men after N'Zogbia, clearly their most dangerous player, decided to use Jack Wilshere's face as the ball and give it a little glancing header.

In many ways, it's good that the Rojiblancos are starting to realize that they're entitled to purchase a few new manos to save themselves. So President Enrique Cerezo did not waste any time during this short and cruel January transfer window (ha-ha) and aptly summoned the services of Juventus's Tiago!

Oh dear, news has come out today that Harry has been officially charged on two seperate counts of tax evasion. These claims are pretty scadalous to be honest and will not do us any favours from opposition crowds in the following weeks. His solicitor has come out to say that Harry has cooperated with the investigation wholly and is confident that will be a positive outcome.

Rafa apologizes to Anfield supporters and comes up with grand plan.

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Manager Rafael Benitez apologises to Liverpool fans

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez has apologised to the club's supporters for their woeful recent run of form.

No unfortunately not some mythical tournament where we send Cheryl Cole country-to-country to mud wrestle their own elected WAG representatives to the death (well, at least to ‘the naked') but the age old debate between two polar enemies; the beautiful game and winning ugly.

Before the 2006 World Cup, England manager Sven Goran Eriksson took a lot of stick in the press for publicly rebutting accusations of his team's attritional qualifying performances by saying that winning was all that matters.

Blame it on the puppet Carlos Tevez claims his ear-cupping celebration of his second goal against Manchester United in front of Sir Alex Ferguson was actually a tribute to a television puppet. The Manchester City striker has rejected accusations that he was baiting the United boss over his refusal to sign Tevez on a permanent deal.

With all the hype of the Togo team attack, the African Cup of Nations in Angola was overshadowed by accusations and fear, but a fantastic final provided Egypt their third African Cup of Nations in a row, and their seventh of all time.
After beating their ultimate rivals Algeria 4-0 in the semifinal, they went on to play a weakened Ghana side.

Judging by these comments, the agent of Fernando Gago and Real's Jorge Valdano are none too pleased with our conduct over the transfer that wasn't:

"City used us," Gago's agent Marcello Lombilla told radio station Onda Cero. "This has never happened to me before. I don't want to talk about the figures that City were offering because they approached Madrid without even knowing there wasn't physically enough time to put something together.

Soccer America's Paul Gardner recently watched the Tottenham Hotspur-Aston Villa 0-0 draw, and referenced the 'long-ball game' or 'Route One' style of Spurs.
It was this style of football that once typified the English game, but due to the foreign influence in the English Premier League, you tend to see less teams play in this fashion anymore.