In Ernest Hemingway's The Old Man & the Sea, an elderly fisherman struggles for several days to catch and subdue an enormous marlin. Once he vanquishes the beast, ties it to his boat, and heads to shore, a group of sharks arrive and eat the fish. He tries in vain to fend off the sharks with his oar, but returns home, exhausted and empty-handed.

Everybody wants to talk about Luis Suarez. He was charged with racism, served his suspension, and has returned to play. Done. Was he petulant before the game? Yes. But since when was that novel? I'm more interested in this little thing called the field. On said field, players kick balls. In fact, just yesterday, a game was played on said field.

This past weekend, a German referee attempted to commit suicide. CNN reported on this tragedy, and also managed to sneak in the same article some game recaps. Tactful! The Guardian did one better, reporting racism charges against Luis Suarez while also letting us know that the alleged racist did not play in an international friendly due to injury.

Manchester City beat Manchester United at Old Trafford by 6-1. The win was deserved, even if a late deluge of goals made the scoreline slightly more embarrassing than warranted. Still, bloodbaths of this magnitude tend to fray the senses, melt the mind, and sportswriters revert to a Neanderthal mental state.

I still remember the days of the anti-intellectual era, so I'm pretty happy to see tactics-speak take a place in our collective chit-chat about soccer. But, at some point, tactics-speak must go beyond tactics-speak. Eventually, all discourses can become a closed system, an algebraic formula with a predetermined end that ceases to illuminate.

The universe works in mysteriously hysterical ways. Sometimes, the pains of the past form a large pair of obnoxious aviator sunglasses, blinding us to how ridiculous we look despite the prevalence of mirrors and our unmistakable reflection. The Shevchenko-affair at Chelsea scarred Jose Mourinho. Jose detests pressure from owners to play certain players.

So, I had this great idea for a post about Arsenal and Barcelona fans, and how to distinguish them. An Arsenal fan will feel good about him or herself for entering a Starbucks and buying coffee imported from Nicaragua or some other third world country. A Barcelona fan? He or she will turn over the coffee package and scowl in disgust.