MLS Week 24 - Is "Gleaming the Cuba" too obscure, too hacky, or both at once?

TNFtermath: Dallas has traded Abe Thompson for allocation money to the Wizards. It's as if Kansas City hasn't given up on the season, but Dallas and Colorado have. This is no time to be giving away warm bodies.

NAFTA SUPERHIGHWAY CUP
Guest previewer Ivan:

Thank you, Ivan. Also, way to make my last blog post totally irrelevant. CUSA, 16-0. If CUSA makes the playoffs, a reward they deserve no more and no less than any other team west of the Missouri, it will be because they caught Toronto at the perfect time. Did Cuba not call in Galindo because he's injured? Seems like they could have used him. Wonder what the story was there.

CREW v. REVOLUTION
Speaking of catching teams at the right time - sure looks good for Columbus, doesn't it? A month ago, New England dared to hope for quadruples, and now must face the possibility of the nothing. This is where resting through the Open Cup and the CONCACAF Cup is supposed to pay off - this weekend in Crew Stadium, against old pal Pat Noonan, where a loss will pretty much bring the Supporters Shield race to a premature end. If it were literally any other coach in the league besides Steve Nicol, I'd predict a Crew blowout with a sneer on my face. But this is Major Leage Parity, Frankie Hejduk is out of town, and a tie sets up another heavyweight bout later in the month. Crew fans want so spend the next couple of months snoozing, but I'm afraid no one's getting off this ride quite yet. 1-1, even though I have no idea where the New England goal is going to come from.

FIRE v. RED BULLS
Ooh, another good one. What on earth is the point of listing the Breathalyzer as "probable" if Mexico called him up? By the transitive property, New York is better than Houston who is better than Chicago, so this should be a Bulls blowout...but Chicago matches up ridiculously well against New York, Juan Pablo Angel never seems to get any significant business done in Chicago, and Rojas is off Venezueling. Fire, 2-0. New York holds on to the all-important fifth place spot.

CLASH v. DC UNITED
Oh, and Jaime is off Boliving. Well, that makes this pick easy. If Toronto were to somehow come through earlier in the day...and I don't want to get anyone too excited here...then San Jose will probably end the weekend in third place. In control of their destiny for the playoffs. That's still not as shocking as Fred being the hero in a tournament final. Quakes, 2-1.

COPA DEL MLM
Well, hell, Colorado won on the road this week, CUSA is probably going to win this week on the road as well. Why not Salt Lake? The Galaxy actually had a fine performance last week, despite giving up the almost inevitable tying goal, but that was with Landon. No Donovan, no Beckham (who hasn't done much anyway since before the All-Star Game anyway) - thank you, please drive through. Royals, 3-0. Which would probably leave the Galaxy alone in last place, with the worst record in the league. It was never this bad when Budweiser was the sponsor, just saying.

DYNAMO v. WIZARDS
First in the West vs. last in the East. Both these teams pretty much have their postseason fates sealed already, so for comedy purposes let's give Kansas City a 6-0 win on hat tricks from Herculez Gomez and Abe Thompson. Although given the disparity between the two divisions, I'm not even sure this IS a comedy pick.