It's like a contest. Try and guess the next banana peel NIGHTMARE APE WAYNE ROONEY, England's
Ambassador to Football and redemptive bicycle kick specialist, will throw into his own path. Will
he get a tattoo of Mike Tyson Chewing Evander Holyfield's Ear on his hairy back? (AHHHHNT: My guess
last time, which was admittedly wrong; instead he hashed opened a leg just to watch it bleed and
thereby abandoned his national side when most they needed him).
Former Barcelona ace
Ronaldinho apparently inked a multimillion Euro deal today with
Eli
Lilly to endorse the depression treatment
Prozac in a series of television ads to air
during the upcoming European Championships. The commercials are to feature the Brazilian maestro
not in his typical role as fun-loving ball-juggling superstar but "the real Ronaldinho," as he
describes himself, "A man bludgeoned by depression, bereft of friends.
John Terry, if I got this right, claims that he didn't call anybody, and certainly not Anton
Ferdinand, a black you-know-what (rhymes with "bunt") and that he was explaining to Ferdinand that
he hadn't used that specific expression when the cameras apparently caught him using that
expression?
SIR ALEX FURGUSON, chastising his lads for not giving up, after the 1-6 home defeat to Manchester
City, as quoted in
The Guardian:
It was hard to believe we were 1-0 down but that's retrievable. The sending off [of
Jonny Evans] was the killer blow. After that, we kept attacking.
Headline: "Getafe's 'Bunch of Mothers' Prove Their Manliness in Seven-goal Sevilla Thriller"
Teaser line: "Even Getafe's president thinks his team are wet, but they showed huge
cojones to keep their European hopes alive . . ."
Alright, Sid, what's this about wet conjones on the pitch?
This is brilliant (as they say in England): two lads dishing out the Templar-esque secrets
surrounding the dark art of flopping, or, as its called in South Africa, the assamoronga.
PS: my favorite dive has to be the Ronaldo III.
My Spanish is not what it used to be, but sports.es is reporting, I think, if I'm reading this
right ("butt buddies?") that Jose Mourinho and Olegario Benquerenca, the ref who was subbed into
the Champions League semi, were once homosexual lovers. (Again, I don't have my Spanish-English
dictionary handy.
Perhaps the greatest dive reaction ever from a coach. Mourinho proves even he has limits after
Samuel Eto'o let's go on a shameless collapse in the box that fooled nobody and got him tagged.
Mourinho later claimed he was laughing at the bad call.
Not much else to say except 42 touches in opening goal (here at the always good Spanish Sports
Blog). Seems almost unfair. Mental note to self: bet ranch on Barcelona Spain in Euro.
Years ago Clint Dempsey put out an awful rap video. We here at PitchFlop had yet to forgive him
that when Dempsey strangely celebrated his only goal (our only goal!
Paolo Bandini (is that your real name?) wrote a fantastic article about Balotelli for the Guardian
today, one that made me forgive Mourinho for whoopin' my side (even though Mourinho had a post-game
spat with his my man Xavi), and then Brooks Pecks dug up some real juice on the feud between
Materazzi and Balotelli (as tattletaled by Invisoboy himself aka Zlatan Ibrahimovic).
Well, an orgy might have broken out after Manchester United scored to beat City, but at least
nobody started sucking on their thumbs! Really, homosexuality we can grog, but what's with the
stupid thumbsucking celebration?
