The path from the cusp of destruction to redemption has been a long one for Liverpool FC fans. Bad apple Americans owners. The departure of Rafael Benitez. The exodus of star players like Xabi Alonso.

Ireland striker Robbie Keane intends to fulfil the last major ambition of his career by making a January switch to a club for which he feels absolutely nothing.

Keane, 31, has played for nine different clubs since he left Crumlin United as a bright-eyed youngster for the bright lights and orange shirts of Wolves, but told Fisted Away that he had set his heart on a new challenge.

As the year comes to an end, awards circulate. Everybody speculates as to who will win the Ballon d'Or. Some say Messi. Others say Xavi. A few say Ronaldo. However, the most shocking award involves none other than Ricardo Kaka.

FA officials studying the video of Manchester City's 3-0 win over Liverpool have retrospectively awarded Martin krtel an imaginary three game ban following Roberto Mancini's persuasive waving of an imaginary card.

The Imaginary Appeal panel is set to meet on Thursday to imagine what punishment they imagine would be appropriate.

Dimitar Berbatov playing in consecutive games shocked several United fans, but also raised red flags in other quarters. Where? Well, the DWP, that's where. Why? It seems that after a brief investigation, the Bulgarian played a pivotal role in a welfare abuse scheme.

After Swindon manager Paolo Di Canio's recent proclamation that he wanted "a team of 100 Paolo Di Canios", experts in cloning and eugenics have been brought into the fold at the Wiltshire club to try to make his dream a reality.

Interim Chairman Jeremy Wray is believed to have personally ordered the groundsmen from their shed, and set about creating a temporary science laboratory there instead.

A lone firefighter emerges from the smoke of a bathroom in Mottram St Andrew, Chesire.

Crushing spent fireworks underfoot, he holds in his right hand a crumpled and singed scrap of paper.

Fisted Away has been given exclusive access to this fragile yet terrifying parchment.

We present: Mario Balotelli's Manchester City Christmas Party-planning brainstorm.

If the summer was bad for the Gunners, the start to the season was even worse. No Nasri. No Fabregas. Fine. But the loss to injury of Jack Wilshere was devastating, and Arsenal touched bottom in a humiliating loss to rivals Manchester United.

It's been a while since I have come across something so hideous – downright hideous that I might comment, "That's a deeeownright hiiiiideous decision, Mr. Clattenburg!".

But, with the Autumn leaves slowly turning from green to brown, like my children taking their mother's surname instead of mine, I picked up a copy of The Beach Boys 11th studio album, Pet Sounds, which made me wonder way on earth I bother getting up in the mornings.

Carlos Tevez has today announced his attention to spend his recent club suspension refusing to engage in any way with his children, Florencia, 6, and Katie, 2. Manchester City handed down the suspension to the errant striker after he disobeyed manager Roberto Mancini's orders for him to come on as a substitute, so Tevez has decided to bring his work home with him.

Any time a major signing doesn't score a bucket of goals, excuses twirl about like the trade winds of the Pacific. "The league is different," some say. "The player has a niggling injury," others cry.

FistedAway are pleased to welcome back the influential thinker and the founder of analytical psychology, Ashley Jung. Ashley previously psychoanalysed the goal celebration of Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka in an attempt to help us understand the deep rooted psychological reasoning behind it.

FistedAway are pleased to welcome back the influential thinker and the founder of analytical psychology, Ashley Jung. Ashley previously psychoanalysed the goal celebration of Chelsea striker Nicolas Anelka in an attempt to help us understand the deep rooted psychological reasoning behind it.

Stoke City F.C. are leaving no stone unturned in their meticulous preparations for the club's first European campaign in 37 years. With work afoot to build a squad that can cope with the rigours of playing twice a week, they have also embarked on the gargantuan task of making thousands upon thousands of sandwiches.

Save your St. Crispin's Day speech for another tournament. Rather than roll into the semifinals of the U21 Championships, Stuart Pearce's side won the hearts, admiration, and plaudits of its home nation for a scintillating run all the way to the end of the group stage.