Faster Ones

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December 3, 2015 03:01 UTC
January 20, 2010 12:00 UTC

Women's Football Fans, This One's for You (Women's World Cup Erotica—No Lie)

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You can get it cheapest right at Go Deeper Press, but if you like to spend an extra buck or so when you're shopping, you can get it pretty much everywhere ebooks are sold.
Enjoy the cup!

As the Title of This Blog Suggests...

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Behold! Sydney Leroux and Ali Krieger in, yes, short shorts!

I just did some research to prove this, but, seriously Google, can you NOT provide me with any official stats for 2014? Let's just say that, you know, Abby Wamback is out on injury and Alex Morgan just came back from injury, so, for the most part, Sydney's had to pick up the slack.

Battle of the WWC Beasts: 2015's Sheúme the Owl Versus 2011's Karla Kick

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I don't know how I'm feeling about Sheúme the "young female great white owl" as the 2015 mascot for the Women's World Cup next year, but the Canadian PM's wife seems happy enough about it.

That said, in 2011, we had Karla Kick, who, I have to admit now having seen Sheúme, seems kind of fierce, even in all her Pokemon-ness.

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Hope Solo?

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Remember how good she looks naked.

Remember her cat-like instincts.

Remember her great patriotism.

WWC 2015: Let's Get Ready for the World Cup! (Not the One You're Thinking)

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Okay, so, I get an email this weekend letting me know that, as of June 6, we are officially one year out until all the powerhouses of women's football congregate on some artificial pitch somewhere in icy Canada. There are even countdown clocks. God! There's even an on-sale date for tickets, with fancy "passport" deals that look rather neat!

Alex Morgan Doing Things You've Probably Only Seen in Your Dreams...Until Now

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YouTube Gets Queerer Than Usual for LGBTQ Athletes

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And I, of all things, find myself with a crush on Robbie Rogers. WTF?

USWNT Update: Sydney Leroux Wants to Sell You Chocolate Milk, Plus Other Stuff (Alex Morgan)

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Totally not a joke.
That said, a girl needs to pay the bills. More importantly, a girl deserves to make as much money as she wants when she wants.
All that said, I don't believe she drinks this stuff post-match. I just don't, Syd.

In other less consumer-products-related news—ankle injury be damned!

REPOST: Fast Girls Presents: Sex and Violence (Exhibit Part 1)

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Because women's football has both. Thanks to all photographers for capturing beauty in all its moods. Email fasteronesblog [at] if you'd like a photo credit and link.

College fight. Date unknown.
College fight 2.

NWSL on the Tube, for Real—Plus, All Eyes Still on Alex Morgan

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Hey, hey! The National Women's Soccer League announces what feels and sounds like really good news, and let's hope it is: ESPN has agreed to air nine of the league's games this year, with ESPN2 and ESPN3 marked as the venues. You can get all press-releasey here.

This is super awesome because, really, let's reminisce: Remember when the WUSA aired games on Christian channel PAX?

Women's Footy Tuesday Morning Roundup

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It's funny how it feels like there isn't much to talk about today, but oh, really, there is:

Karate and Sushi and Freakin' Awesome Women's Football
Japan won the Asian Cup, beating holder Australia 1-0. That link there will tell you two cool things: it's the first time Japan has won the Asian Cup, and its the first time the same country has stood as champions of both the Asian Cup and the World Cup at the same time.

WWC 2015: In the Land of Fruity Drink Umbrellas, Sunburns, and Homophobia, Qualification Begins

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Women's World Cup qualifying matches have begun this weekend in Jamaica at the Caribbean Football Union's Women's Caribbean Cup. Teams are playing for a spot at the CONCACAF Women's Championship, where, of course, if you're a team from the Caribbean or, sadly, anywhere outside North America, it really is a fucking challenge to be one of the 3.

USWNT News Update: Abby Wambach Now Pimping Blondes

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Hey single guys, anyone wanna give this girl a call? It's the blonde on the right! @KatWilliamson7 #findkatadate
— Abby Wambach (@AbbyWambach) May 25, 2014

Wolfsburg Beats Tyresö, Thailand Women's National Team Rockin' a Half Mil

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First and foremost, Wolfsburg (GER) beat Tyresö (SWE) yesterday in the women's Champions League final in Lisbon yesterday, which is great news for me, mainly because I love it any time that Marta loses because she still, to this very day, can't hide her disappointment and frustration. You'd think by now she'd learn.

From the Asian Cup to the WWC 2015: Introducing...Thailand!

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So, funny story, and one you may remember: It turns out that five players from the North Korean women's national team were caught doping during the World Cup in Germany in 2011. They were using some sort of deer gland therapy? To kind of make matters worse, the liquid is extracted from a hairy gland of the deer.