At last the true horror of England's elimination from the World Cup can be revealed in an
Ambuscade exclusive.
My sources in the paranormal underground reveal that Paul the 'psychic' octopus is in fact a
psycho-telekinetic one, with the ability to control minds from a distance. Alleged to be in the pay
of Bavarian betting syndicates, his powers are controlled using so called 'food'.
Despite the predictions of Paul the Octopus (who I believe to be the innocent dupe of Bavarian
betting syndicates) I confidently predict an England win tomorrow. Its the first of a three stage
war re-enactment that will take in World War II, the Falklands (quarter final) and then the Armarda
(semi final).
So the French depart. And there was much weeping and annoyed shrugging and, outside France, much
sniggering and cackling.
For Don Fabio's brave boys the chance at the second round beckons clearly, over the skies of
Slovenia. Wherever it is. I may have been there on a drunken bender back in the fifties, I'm not
sure.
Sacres bleus!! Viva mexico!! Arriba arriba nachos libres!!
Por tois le cup is oveur. A dour display by the sons of la republic leaves them at the mercy
of others (yet again, nobody mention the war).
While the french cockerel fails to wake for the dawn, no doubt too tired after a night with
underage denizens of the bois de bologne, the english lion awakes to another feasting day on the
african plains.
The nation awaits the latest results of Don Fabio's manouverings later today. Intervening in
the Mexican Gulf to distract the US and foster a degree of anti-english feeling that will take the
US team over the top to will allow our glorious boys to go over the top under cover and round the
back coming in off the flanks to deliver a killing blow early doors.
While I could fill the holding midfielder role with a plomb (Older readers among you may
remember Reg Plomb who played for Preston North End in the 1930âēs, RIP Reg), Don Fabio seems to
think it involves being mobile, passing accurately and timing your tackles well (that's you
Carrick!!!). He is obviously not familiar with my old 'hollow leg' technique of imbibing
overproof rum and then fire breathing onto the 'upper thighs' of the approaching opposition.
The British Airways strike looks like being called off because the unions did not publicise 11
spoilt ballot papers out of a total of 10,000 ballots cast in their strike vote. This is a most
welcome move as it means I can now come to SA courtesy of our national flag carrier and not by
raft. The only thing I fear now is the wrath of the angry Volcano God, he keeps the skies of
Europe filled with ash as the hapless citizens try in vain to beg him for mercy.
British Airlines cabin crew have selflessly voted to keep England fans away from the World Cup
to avoid exposing them to the stress of watching their team play. BA's 'stay at home' policy
matches that of some of the England players who are acquiring injuries and personal crises so that
they don't have to embarass themselves on the world stage.
Here are some pictures from an early morning walk that we did from the SunCoast Casino near
Battery beach to the new stadium.
It was a bit of a gloomy day when we went to visit the new Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban
shortly after it was officially opened, but we still got some great views from the top of the 106m
high arch (taller than the Statue of Liberty!).
The 'Sky Car' can accommodate 25 people as it travels up the northern leg of the arch to the
observation platform at the top.
Here is a useful Excel spreadsheet for you to use to enter results for the World Cup matches.
As you enter the results, the group standings are automatically updated. You can also toggle
between showing the placeholders for the knockout games (eg A1 vs B2), or the actual team names.
I was playing around with it, and if, for example, the group standings end as they are currently
defined, and the 'home' team wins in each of the knockout games, then the final will be between
South Africa and England!
Charlize Theron pulls Irelands name out of the hat!
Prankster Charlize Theron shares a gag with David Beckham and Jerome Valcke during rehearsals
for the 2010 World Cup draw in Cape Town recently (sorry Ireland!).
The official opening of the new Moses Mabhida Stadium in Durban has been set for 28 November
2009. In the months following the opening there will be numerous PSL matches, concerts (including
the ex-Watford Chairman, Reg Dwight or Elton John as he likes to be called) and other events held
at the stadium, so the facilities should be well broken-in by the time the big event comes
around.
The membrane roofing at the new Moses Mabhida stadium in Durban is progressing well. I took the
following pictures a couple of days ago. In the last picture I've also highlighted the cable car
that will run up and down the northern leg of the arch.
The stadium is due for completion in October of this year, well ahead of schedule.
