the yorkies

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October 27, 2015 03:01 UTC
July 31, 2009 12:30 UTC

Just Incase You Missed It

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We've moved. Please join us over at for further merriment regarding your favourite footballing punchline, Toronto FC.

Full Time at The Yorkies

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Honestly, it was supposed to be a five-year plan.
What you are reading now, and have been reading on this blog for about six years, germinated in 2007 when a mish-mash of men you now know as The Yorkies, were thrust together in the middle of BMO Field's South Stand. What started as a gag to group together our likeminded TFC-based malarkey/misery, somehow evolved into this site.

THE STARTING 11: Signs that this TFC season wasn't as bad as everyone thinks

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Get used to it you cesspool reading vocal minority. You negative Nellys (see what we did there?) need to look on the bright side of life with TFC. Like... it hasn't been 10 years without playoffs... yet. And stuff like that! Yes 2014 may have dropped out of the unzipped Vanney Pack and hit the soon-to-be-Argos turf with a thud, but this season had some tremendous positives as well.

THE STARTING 11: Obvious Questions Omitted From The End-of-season Presser

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Though everyone's favourite TFC fake news outlet was totally invited and even had our press passes FedEx'd over, we couldn't possibly make it due to our prior engagements and all of those other end of season press conferences we had to cover, the outro interviews came and passed with slightly more than a whimper, but a plethora of typical soundbytes.

THE STARTING 11: Things that TFC supporters are most looking forward to

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The final match of a losing season is often used by football clubs as a chance to try a few different things and give a few youngsters a run-out as a prelude to brighter days. Supporters can often find crumbs of solace in these displays to warm them through the off-season. TFC finished their losing season (8 in a Series of 30) with another thrilling night of VanneyBall (TM) and left the supporters with these great morsels of optimism as we head towards 2015.

THE SOUTH COUCH REPORT - New England v Toronto... or just 90 more minutes until I can forget this mess...

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Look at that. Seattle just won the supporters shield. Hard to believe that they've only been in the league for 14 years. It would be embarassing if they had only been around for, say, 6 seasons.
I love the notion of sitting at home and jealously pining over the other clubs in the league.

Hard Core No-go? Is TFC's "solid core group" as promising as we are being sold?

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Disclaimer: This article is written on the likely naive assumption that Toronto FC will not completely dissolve the current squad and start all over again. Again.
There really wasn't a reason for us to add to the plethora of TFC vs. Montreal post-mortems that are already out there. It is what it is and that is bad.

THE STARTING 11: Advantages to having so many Montreal Impact fans visit BMO Field

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Toronto and Montreal. Rivals in so many things. Language, culture, business, terrible mayors, Prime Minister-themed airports and who Upstate New York wants to take to the prom. No list of inter-city rivalries of course would be complete without sporting interests. Whether it is real football, Canadian American football or ice football, these two great cities love to battle it out.

THE MATCHUP: Où est l'Playoffs?

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FACTS* AND STATS** TORONTO FC - 2:1: The odds that TFC's post-match will include the words "mathematically", "still", "in" and "it" - Corners: Where General Managers paint themselves into when refusing to add the word "interim" in front of a late-season coaching hire's title - Jermain Defoe won't necessarily consider a defeat to Montreal on Saturday as a loss but more gaining a day towards his next emotional reunion.

The Playoffs: TFC's march to justification

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The long-shot prospect of Toronto FC making the 2014 MLS playoffs represents one glorious opportunity for those that control this club from up high. No, it is not to reward the most beaten-down of all MLS supporters - it is justification.
Already, many fans have come to loathe the four-week "must-win" campaign that has devolved into the "we're still mathematically possible" reality we have today but as annoying as the internal club promotion may be - TFC is still in with a tiny chance.

THE STARTING 11: Things that Toronto FC are giving thanks for

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It's that most wonderful time of the year again when Canadians celebrate getting a draw against Turkey in the Great Pumpkin War. Never forget the nutmeg we lost in Istanbul. On this most solemn of days, it is right to give thanks for the things we often take for granted. This "GivingThanksDay" (what a great name for a holiday - we should TM that) is one not overlooked by the players and staff at TFC who are individually giving thanks for:

THE MATCHUP: 99 Problems and 9 Points are 9

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MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Must-Win Part VII: Cronin's Revenge"
FACTS* AND STATS** NEW YORK RED BULLS - This will be the final fixture between New York and Toronto this season (barring playoffs - snort) thus robbing local Toronto fans a reason to wear Thierry Henry kits to TFC matches like that's ok - Security has been heightened as usual for a night fixture in Harrison, New Jersey as autumn is the natural feeding time for the local C.

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT - Toronto v Houston... or Who does this matter more to?

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What the hell was that all about?
Without any scientific data whatsoever to substantiate the following claims, here's the percentage of how the game actually went, in no particular order.
  • 42% raining misery with terrible first half "action"
  • 27% a lack of luck for Toronto
  • 14% luck in favour of Houston
  • 9% high-level time wasting by Houston after their red card expulsion of A.

THE MATCHUP: Orange Is the New Bleurgh

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FACTS* AND STATS** TORONTO FC - This is Toronto FC's Must Win Match 7 in a series of 9 - "A problem": The last two words of most sad TFC supporter jokes if Dynamo go up by a goal - "?

THE STARTING 11: Things that Jermain Defoe missed about being in Toronto

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Winter is comin'
He's back! Our l'il lord and saviour Jermain Defoe has returned from the nightmarish hell that was re-habbing a devastatingly injured groin... or something. Whatever. With Canada's apparent Third World medical facilities, Defoe has spent much of the summer back in England doing his best to prepare for a playoff push and #goals.