Dirty Tackle

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Updated:
September 27, 2013 04:41 UTC
Added:
June 20, 2009 12:36 UTC

Future News: MLS to put antagonistic expansion team in ‘city that hates soccer the most’

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Following speculation that MLS is interested in expanding into the southeast United States, the league has announced plans to put a new club in "the city that hates soccer the most." Though the exact location of this new team has yet to be determined, the declaration is sure to court controversy. But the league sees it as an aggressive way to push its development and expansions in new territories.

Arsene Wenger doesn’t have time for shoelaces, opts for Velcro

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As soon as Arsenal bought Mesut Ozil for a club record fee on deadline day, people started taking Arsene Wenger seriously again. No more jokes about his refusal to spend money or his puffy coat or his endless struggle with zippers, Wenger was once again a man to be respected. And now that he's back in the big time and winning matches on the regular, he simply doesn't have time for silly things like making sure he has enough quality strikers and tying shoelaces.

Usain Bolt is taking credit for Manchester United’s midfield improvements

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Immediately after Manchester United lost 1-0 to Liverpool, Usain Bolt decided he had to take action. "I'm Usain Bolt," said Usain Bolt in his Instagram video of action. "I'm a big fan of Manchester United. Dave Moyes, we need a creative midfielder. One that can pass and create opportunities. RIGHT NOW.

Sparta Prague B player scores with his rear end (on purpose)

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It's hard to say what could compel a footballer to purposefully attempt a shot on goal with his backside, yet that's exactly what Sparta Prague B's David Hovorka did in an actual match. Perhaps it was corner kick routine that was actually drawn up that way, but Hovorka launched himself towards the goal butt first to knock in a cross while the other team could only watch as a embarrassment washed over them.

Painfully obvious but very helpful tips for Jose Mourinho

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Chelsea opened their Champions League campaign by losing 2-1 to underdog Basel at home. This marked the club's third straight defeat after losing to Bayern Munich on penalties in the UEFA Super Cup and 1-0 to Everton last weekend in the Premier League. As a result of this unexpected misfortune, fans at Stamford Bridge who once used their signs to tell Rafa Benitez to leave the club are now using them to offer Mourinho friendly tips on how to turn things around.

Qatari side Lekhwiya hit crossbar three times in three seconds during AFC Champions League match

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Lekhwiya SC hosted Guangzhou Evergrande in the second leg of their AFC Champions League quarter-final tie on Wednesday evening, hoping to overturn a 2-0 deficit from the first match against Marcello Lippi's Chinese Super League champions.

Sadly, it wasn't to be for the Qatari outfit. They fell two goals down after sixteen minutes, and their dreadful luck was summed up midway through the first half when they managed to hit the crossbar three times in the space of three seconds.

DTotD: Dortmund’s backup keeper chipped his two front teeth on the goalpost during loss to Napoli

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The start of Borussia Dortmund's Champions League campaign did not go very well at all. Manager Jurgen Klopp had a mental breakdown on the touchline and got sent off 29 minutes into the match against Napoli and goalkeeper Roman Weidenfeller followed him down the tunnel just before halftime, forcing backup keeper Mitchell Langerak to make an unexpected Champions League debut.

Former Fulham owner taking Michael Jackson statue away from Craven Cottage

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When Mohamed Al Fayed sold Fulham to Shahid Khan, he threatened to shave the Jacksonville Jaguars owner's impressive mustache in public if he touched the bizarre Michael Jackson statue installed outside Craven Cottage in 2011. The garish statue of a pop singer who was friends with Al Fayed never made much sense as a decoration and the beautiful and supremely traditional 117-year-old ground outside of the eccentric owner's mind, but now it's been revealed that Al Fayed isn't going to leave the one-gloved monstrosity behind.

A few Manchester United sponsorship opportunities that are still available

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Manchester United announced a new club record £363 million in revenue last season, more than any other club in the world except Real Madrid. A whopping £152 million was commercial income alone as 20 of the club's 33 sponsorship deals ranging from official paint partners to official noodle partners for Asia, Oceania and the Middle East were signed last year.

Jurgen Klopp sent off for terrifying the fourth official with his facial expressions

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Borussia Dortmund manager Jurgen Klopp has always been an animated fellow. Perhaps still carrying some pent-up aggression from his side's loss to Bayern Munich in last season's Champions League final, Klopp started the new Champions League campaign by freaking out and getting sent off just shy of half an hour into the Group F opener against Napoli.

Everton to wear rainbow laces in support of campaign against homophobia

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Everton have announced that they will take part in a campaign against homophobia in football (and presumably everywhere else) by wearing rainbow laces on their boots during this weekend's match against West Ham. The campaign was started by gay rights charity Stonewall and Everton's online betting partner Paddy Power with the tongue in cheek message of "Right behind gay footballers.

South African Premier League goalkeeper attempts to waste time, fails miserably

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AmaZulu currently sit second in the South African Premier League, but they could have topped the table on Tuesday night if not for an epic blunder from goalkeeper Tapuwa Kapini.

The Durban side were leading their Johannesburg rivals Bidvest Wits 1-0 in the 92nd minute when Kapini collected the ball outside the box and attempted to dribble it back into his own area so he could run down the clock.

Wayne Rooney gets snippy when asked if he wanted to leave Man United

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Wayne Rooney gave a great performance in Manchester United's 4-2 win over Bayer Leverkusen in the Champions League group stage and he was rewarded for his efforts with a pair of momentous achievements. With his two goals in the match (that could have easily been three), Rooney reached 200 goals for Manchester United and became the highest scoring British player in the history of the Champions League.

Iker Casillas comes off with rib injury after collision with Sergio Ramos

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The universe really does not like Iker Casillas right now. Finally given the chance to start in a competitive match for Real Madrid again, Casillas only lasted 15 minutes before he had to come off with an injury. Inflicted upon him by his own teammate. It's like something out of a modern day Book of Job.

Borussia Dortmund put together video welcoming opponents to Champions League’s ‘hottest’ group

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It seems that losing last season's Champions League final to Bayern Munich did little to curtail the club's brilliant marketing around the competition. To celebrate their inclusion in one of the most difficult groups, the club put together a video welcoming their formidable opponents to "Europe's hottest group.