The Cynical Tackler

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Last Updated
October 4, 2011 12:12 EDT
Added
April 30, 2009

Goal of the Year: Grafite vs. Gourcuff [VIDEO]

The Cynical Tackler May 27, 2009 @ 9:19 AM EST Blog Details : Related Items
4 views
So, which one is it, then? Grafite is the more audacious of the two with that ridiculous backheel to finish off a run that meandered more than a drunk senior on a scooter. But Gourcuff's is the more purely sublime, executing a roulette to get past one, a deft touch from one foot to the other to get past the second, and a powerful finish past Landreau.

When will Sunderland's Djibril Cisse horribly mangle his leg next?

The Cynical Tackler May 19, 2009 @ 12:12 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
5 views
Nothing against the erstwhile hairstylist, indeed I enjoy his electrifying pace, skill on the ball, and knack for the goal (such as this classy finish in the epic 2006 FA Cup Final). From Auxerre to Liverpool to Marseille, and on to Sunderland on loan, he's been no stranger to gaudy statistics to pair up with his high octane lifestyle -- movie "star", lap dancing controversies, pregnant wife

Top 5 Most Indifferent Clubs

The Cynical Tackler May 15, 2009 @ 1:47 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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These five leave no imprint on our collective conciousness and are forever moribund. Even their names inspire no tingling of the soul. It's just tedium with a side of ennui:
5. Le Mans UC72 (Ligue 1)
4. Deportivo la Coruna (La Liga)
3. Siena (Serie A)
2. FC Dallas (MLS)
1.

FC Dallas on pace for a generous You Suck Allocation

The Cynical Tackler May 12, 2009 @ 2:46 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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Power (sigh) rankings for the moment:
1. Chivas USA
2. Toronto
3. DC
4. Seattle
5. Houston
6. Chicago
7. Kansas City
8. Colorado
9. Salt Lake
10. Columbus
11. New England
12. New York
13. Los Angeles
14. Philadelphia
15.

Future Almanac - This weekend's Premier League and MLS results in advance!

The Cynical Tackler May 8, 2009 @ 12:44 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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As I did last week, I'm going to pull out the Future Almanac to divine this weekend's results for your wagering delight. No doubt jealousy of my Almanac runs rampant, but I seem to be the only one who thought of picking one up during my apparently esoteric travels. In other words, your thundering incompetence is your problem.

To those who think that Chelsea was hard done by the refs today

The Cynical Tackler May 6, 2009 @ 3:50 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
37 views
I present you with the following...
Guardian:
"72 mins: Chelsea substitution: Drogba off - and he shakes his head in dismay at that decision - and Belletti on. So Hiddink removes his most effective weapon and declares his intention to hold on for the 1-0 against 10 men? It would appear so.

What will Thierry Henry do?

The Cynical Tackler May 4, 2009 @ 12:37 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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Should he stay at Barca or move on? He appears to have adapted quite well to the left flank this season, and his current form is absolutely torrid. 2 goals in El Clasico, 19 in the league, and 25 overall on the year. Roughly 60% of his shots on frame leading to ample poaching oppportunities for Eto'o and co.

The Future Almanac -- What will happen this weekend in the Premier League

The Cynical Tackler May 1, 2009 @ 11:21 AM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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Because I'm a spluttering baboon, I will impudently declare what will happen this weekend in the Premier League through the use of an ingenious, failproof algorithm I devised over my bowl of shredded wheat this morning. Specifically, I will peer into the future. I realize that no one else has ever thought of doing such a rash thing, but I assure you that will use proper eyewear.

What Webb really said

The Cynical Tackler April 29, 2009 @ 9:38 AM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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Here's the official line: "I've looked at it again and I think it was a mistake but we make these decisions honestly," Webb conceded. "It's not always easy to see the way the play pans out from pitch level. I could see the Manchester United player touch the ball and saw him get clattered by the goalkeeper but didn't see the extra deviation from the goalkeeper's fingers touching the ball.

Here are some reliable resources for watching Barca-Chelsea today at the office

The Cynical Tackler April 28, 2009 @ 11:17 AM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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http://www.channelsurfing.net
http://www.atdhe.net
http://www.myp2p.eu
http://www.justin.tv
http://www.iraqgoals.net
Anything else will just suck you into a mobius strip of blogs linking to other blogs without actually giving you the goods. 100 PERCENT GENYOOWINE!

So, he who dives best...

The Cynical Tackler April 27, 2009 @ 3:48 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
2 views
...reaps the rewards?
Who do you think is the most effective diver?(answers)

MLS Franchise Ineptitude Power Ranking

The Cynical Tackler April 22, 2009 @ 4:42 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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Rather than ranking clubs by their current form (most people just end up stupidly replicating the Supporters Shield standings, whether they're aware of it or not), I've decided to go with a broader horizon: what is the general direction of the franchise on the pitch, in the stands, in the front office, and in the community.

The Wembley Pitch

The Cynical Tackler April 20, 2009 @ 5:13 PM EST Blog Details : Related Items
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Ah yes, another cycle of blame from the losing sides occupying the ever-in-progress Wembley field of dreams. This time it's Sir Alex and (to a lesser extent) Monsieur Wegner who are levying charges of unplayability and unsuitability for the tushes of their multi-miilionaires. Of course, once the big four raises their whinnying voices about anything out of sorts that, incidentally, only affects their side, the FA make a big, blustery show of relaying the turf and promising nary a future ankle tweak.