For West Ham United, severely impeded by the Scylla and Charybdis of a rabid football press and a public financial imperative to balance books, the transfer window cracks and hums, pulsing like the premonitory electricity of death. Transfer rumours in these austere times are as pieces of lint, static-clinging to our collective screen as 24hr rolling media disseminates half-truths and belches effluents, pollutants, contaminants and deliriants into an airborne toxic event. Click to continue reading...

Gianfranco Zola declared himself pleased with the side's 2-1 friendly win over Grays Athletic this afternoon. In the absence of established first-teamers Robert Green, Matthew Upson, James Tomkins, Mark Noble, Valon Behrami, Luis Boa Morte, Scott Parker, Carlton Cole and Dean Ashton, academy products Zavon Hines and Cristian Montano scored the goals in a game that also saw the return to action of Danny Gabbidon. Click to continue reading...

Below is an exclusive WHO interview with Irons legend Julian Dicks as conducted by Leigh Jim, Julian's agent for the past 10 years...
Q. Did Perry Groves really plead with George Graham to take him off when you kicked his arse years ago ?
A. Yes he did... it was pretty embarrassing to watch actually but it made me laugh at the time. Click to continue reading...

At the risk of upsetting Ray Winstone and the West Ham United commercial department, here is a sneaky pre-launch look at the new "dicky dirt" for next season, as appeared on several Hammers sites this afternoon. I'm not that convinced by it yet but obviously it will look a lot better if worn by Luis Jimenez and Amantino Mancini come Monday's big launch. Click to continue reading...

As inevitable as a bubble bursting, as inextricably cinched as the West Ham United board to pecuniary constipation, Gianfranco Zola is being linked with yet another loan bid for yet another Inter Milan player; this time the dilatory, brooding Mario Balotelli. Several of the morning papers credit the Upton Park chief with trying to secure a loan deal for the 18 year-old striker, who has grown impatient at being continually over-looked by Jose Mourinho. Click to continue reading...

As mentioned yesterday, the struggling investment bank Straumer-Burdaras, which has a 70% stake in the new owners of West Ham United, has been granted a six-month reprieve by a district court in Reykjavik to stave off creditors. CB Holdings, which is made up of creditors owed money by West Ham's former owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson and whose majority stakeholder is Straumur, took over at Upton Park last week. Click to continue reading...

Several of the morning papers are claiming West Ham United are close to concluding an exciting double signing from Inter Milan, which would see the 28-year-old Brazilian winger Mancini join the attacking midfielder Luis Jimenez in heading for Upton Park. Chief executive, Scott Duxbury, and technical director, Gianluca Nani, have spent an enterprising few days in Milan brokering initial loan deals with an option to buy both players, valued in today's Times at a combined £22million. Click to continue reading...

Chief executive Scott Duxbury was last night locked in talks aimed at completing the signing of the Chilean forward Luis Jimenez. Writing in today's Telegraph, Jason Burt insists terms for the deal, which could initially involve a loan with an option to buy, have been agreed and an announcement is expected to be made later this week. Click to continue reading...

It is dreadful to die of thirst in the sea. Do you have to salt your truth so much that it can no longer even quench thirst?

As usual an inchoate mass of contradictory reports, conflicting rumours and desultory conjecture makes for a tempting but ultimately disorientating Sunday gossip round-up. Click to continue reading...

We've come here to pay our respects to Great Aunt Nellie. She brought us up properly and taught us loyalty. Now I want you to remember that during these next few days. I also want you to remember that if you don't come back with the goods, Nellie here will turn in her grave, and, likely as not, jump right out of it and kick your teeth in. Click to continue reading...

"West Ham's new owners plan to take a profit and be off," screams an hysterical headline in today's Guardian. Suddenly startled by the notion that CB Holding (a specially set-up asset-management company) might actually have taken over the club with the intention of recouping losses from former owner Bjorgolfur Gudmundsson, Sachin Nakrani has delivered a rather curious rehash of the same reflexive article he wrote a few days ago in which doubt is cast on the benefits to West Ham of the recent takeover. Click to continue reading...

Look into my eyes...
Andrew Bernhardt has spoken positively about the future after his first week with West Ham United. In a statement on the official site, the club's new Non-Executive Chairman insists he is looking forward to the challenges that lie ahead and believes the club can build on last season's successes. Click to continue reading...

Another plane, another train
Another bottle in the brain
Another girl - another fight
Another drive all night

West Ham United will kick off their Asia Trophy adventure with an enticing clash against Tottenham. The draw sees the London rivals picked to face each other in the semi-final of this year's tournament, which takes place in Beijing between 29th-31st July. Click to continue reading...

Carlton Cole has become the latest footballer to raise awareness of testicular and prostate cancer for the Everyman campaign. Cole features in Cosmopolitan magazine's annual Naked Centrefold special, available now, to promote the campaign which was launched in the UK by The Institute of Cancer Research in 1997. Click to continue reading...

As news today is slower than a white man in slippers I thought I would feature a little interview with Trevor Brooking. I stumbled across it yesterday on Wharf.
Interview: West Ham legend Trevor Brooking
By Simon Hayes
West Ham legend Sir Trevor Brooking is urging the club's new owners to build for the future following this week's takeover. Click to continue reading...