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February 8, 2018 06:21 UTC
November 2, 2008 11:25 UTC

Transcript for the Pilot Episode of the Forthcoming FUTFANATICO YouTube Channel

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When in Rome, pivot to video.

For years, you have come to Futfanatico DOT com for written content. There's just one problem: the majority of you are bots sent by Search Engines whose clicks I have failed to monetize. Many of you spend the large part of your day watching brief, two-minute videos on your cell phones.

The State of the Union

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The US is not going to the World Cup. As a sportswriter, anybody with half a brain can vomit out a finger-pointing op-ed in, like, fifteen minutes. But can they do so in style?

And with a key flow chart that makes sense of things?

I've turned my sports writing towards reported journalism, in case you missed it.

The USMNT Post Mortem

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Oh, hello madam and sir. I hope you are well. As a USMNT fan, I have seen better days. In fact, for the past year or so, I feel as though I have been shouting in a black hole. I have pitched articles but heard silence. Why, I even got paid a kill fee to shut up about the USMNT's problems. Thus, I have joked on Twitter, but kept my claws in my pocket.

Kane and Able?

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Hello, friends. Earlier today I had some fun on Twitter. Jason Davis aka "The Soccer Eagle" (El Soccer Aguila for our friends who speak Spanish) announced that he was adopting Spurs as his EPL club for the season. I chimed in that Harry Kane scored most of his goals off crosses and was not a particularly amazing dribbler.

Neymar to PSG: The Gloriously Pathetic Details

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Lots of other people have written their "thinkpiece" on what the Neymar to PSG transfer deal means. Basically, blah blah more wealth blah blah spend lots of money bad blah blah. I actually care little for the so called Chicken Little // Greed in football big picture analysis. I care more about the precise details of this deal.

Right Said Fred Adu

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No country produces a never ending stream of star players. Even South American giants like Argentina and Brazil have their fair share of "the next big thing" that turn out more dud than stud. On the one hand, we as fans deserve share of the blame for rushing to heap praise and feverishly clasp at the next young prospect.

The Next Nino Torres

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Nothing plagues the sports world like the "next" label. In chess, every talented American player is the next Bobby Fischer. In soccer, Neymar is the "next Pele" and Messi is the "next Maradona." Fans cling to nationalities as predictors of success and prototypical molds.

Which is why EPL clubs continue to sign Spanish strikers.

Now on sale: The Night of the Virgin

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Oh hello there, stranger. It has been awhile. Yet I have been busy. Quite busy.

In case you don't stalk me on Twitter, I published this here "Great American soccer novel" (The Night of the Virgin) on June 1st. I then toured the State of Texas to read and sign books at some lovely indie stores.

MLS Expansion Franchise Behind The Scenes Scoopfest

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Friends, I am honored to have been invited to exclusive meetings with the executive team behind the newest and arguably most successful MLS expansion franchise in recent history. In fact, the meetings and interviews went so well, and were so long and insightful, I was able to use the quotes to fill an entire article.

The Necessity of Genius

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I wrote about Antonio Conte a few months back. Basically, his courage in benching underperforming players and introducing a new tactical system impressed me. Then, The Guardian ran a profile of him with an interview from an assistant. The details divulged kinda ruined my enchantment, to be honest.

Steaming Hot Soccer Content!

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Drum roll please.......thank you, that's enough. So, friends, you like my writing? My writing on football, eh? Well, here are some lynx to some fun stuff I've written for Paste and our buds at Four-Four-Two.

Please note, I do not endorse the 4-4-2 formation at any level of the game. Just the mag.

Enter the Arena

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I don't care to link to any of the folks who are clasping at the Honduras game as proof that Bruce Arena is an elite coach and the USMNT is now back on track. I'm not sure the USMNT was ever that far off track the opening schedule was brutal and the loss of Clint Dempsey was huge. Still, I'm no Jurgen apologist.

The Spuds’ Secret

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As an avid fan of soccer who has played and coached at various levels, I am a keen student of what is reported by the always trustworthy British sports dailies. In particular, I read with a discerning eye about managers. I ask myself: how do they manage so well?

And how can I imitate them?

Nou Campy

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Last Wednesday, FC Barcelona beat PSG in the second leg at home in the Camp Nou to advance in the Champions League. Barca features three of the soccer's best attacking players Messi, Neymar, and Suarez and, before the first game, they were expected to advance past the Parisians. Then, Barca went and lost the first leg by four goals.

Counting on Conte

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One of the best parts about sports is that, within a certain frame of assumptions, we can enjoy a heavy dose of unpredictability. Last season, nobody, not even a super computer with all the world's knowledge and really really nice spreadsheet tech with dope algorithms could have predicted Leicester's title.