Cheer Up Alan Shearer

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Carlos Tevez for Manchester City (v Chelsea), 12 August 2012

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So, the Olympics was great. We got to cheer a wide range of people we'd never heard of in sports that we could barely identify. From loudly encouraging a Welsh teenager to kick someone hard in the head to praying that a small Chinese man would hit his noggin on a diving platform, it was a fortnight of memorable sporting moments.

Darren Pratley (for Tottenham Hotspur) v Bolton Wanderers, 17 March 2012

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The football world continues to hold its breath for the well being of Bolton midfielder Fabrice Muamba who collapsed during the first half of his team's FA Cup quarter final against Spurs on Saturday.

The medical staff on hand have been credited with saving the life of the 23 year old.

Toby Alderweireld for Ajax (v Manchester United), 23 February 2012

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Footballers Names Mrs LB Has Misheard During Commentary: Part 9

"Surely his name can't be Celine Dion?"

Peter Odemwingie for West Bromwich Albion (vs Wolves), 12th February 2012

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It's over: after 5 years and 207 days, Mick McCarthy is no longer the manager of Wolverhampton Wanderers.

I watched the game on Sunday and we were abject. We were fortunate to get into the changing rooms at half time with the score at 1-1, but it's hard to deny that we didn't deserve the spanking that West Brom eventually handed us.

Heidur Helguson for QPR (v Chelsea), 23 October 2011

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English football in 'shambles' shocker. With a major tournament around the corner, the FA intervene and strip John Terry of the England captain without consulting the manager. The manager resigns. England have no captain, no manager and naff all chance of winning Euro 2012.

In many ways, I don't blame Fabio Capello for leaving.

Benoit Assou-Ekotto for Tottenham Hotspur (v Everton), 11 January 2012

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We're delighted to welcome lovely fella, stand-up comedian and Spurs fan Carl Jones to Cheer Up Alan Shearer. With Spurs second in the table, here's Carl's first guest post about whether his side can actually win the league...


It's mid-January. Tottenham Hotspur sit three points adrift of leaders Manchester City and level on points with Manchester United.

Zinedine Zindane for France (vs Brazil), 12 July 1998

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I spent much of the Christmas period in France, and I was delighted to see that there is plenty of TV coverage of the English Premier League. Not only was I able to watch more a less the full round of fixtures on Boxing Day, but also the rescheduled Arsenal v Wolves game the following day. Coverage was pretty good too.

Demba Ba for Newcastle (vs Manchester Utd), 4th January 2012

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On Tuesday night, a Liverpool side minus Luis Suarez and with Andy Carroll playing up front got spanked 3-0 by Manchester City.

On Wednesday night, a sparkling Newcastle side spanked Manchester Utd 3-0, with Demba Ba, their Senegalese striker, scoring an absolutely splendid goal.

With every game that goes by, Andy Carroll (£35m, 4 goals in 23 appearances) looks more and more like a white elephant and his replacement in the Newcastle number 19 shirt (£0, 15 goals in 19 appearances) looks increasingly like the steal of this or many another season.

Luis Suarez for Liverpool (v Queens Park Rangers), 10 December 2011

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It's been a good week for racism in football. Luis Suarez has been banned by eight matches and fined £40,000 for racially abusing Patrice Evra whilst Chelsea and England captain John Terry faces a racially aggravated public order charge for allegedly abusing QPR defender Anton Ferdinand in a match in October.

Karl Henry for Wolves (vs Charlton), 28th March 2008

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I've received an early Christmas present.

Much to my wife's delight, our kitchen calendar next year will be the Official Wolverhampton Wanderers FC Calendar for 2012.

I don't know what it's like in your house, but in ours, the kitchen calendar is the source of all knowledge: if it's not in the calendar, then it's not happening.

Sócrates for Brazil (vs USSR), 14th June 1982

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Farewell then to Sócrates Brasileiro Sampaio de Souza Vieira de Oliveira. Better known throughout the world simply as Sócrates, captain of perhaps the best side not to win the World Cup. 60 caps and 20 goals for Brazil; drinker; smoker; political activist; humanitarian; surely one of the greatest, coolest players to grace the game.

Darren Ambrose for Crystal Palace (v Manchester United), 30 November 2011

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101 Great Goals #58 - Darren Ambrose

Gary Neville called it the best goal he had ever seen an opposition player score at Old Trafford. It's a bold claim, but Darren Ambrose's strike that helped knock Manchester United out of the Carling Cup was an absolute belter.

And here at Cheer Up Alan Shearer we're delighted to bring you this superb goal with some rare Alan Partridge commentary.

Gary Speed for Wales (against Moldova), 12th October 1994

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Before I say anything else, let me just make it clear that I think that Gary Speed's death yesterday, at the age of 42, is unquestionably tragic; an awful, shocking piece of news. It's difficult for me to imagine a circumstance so terrible that hanging myself seemed the best option, and I hope I never experience anything remotely approaching it.

Lukas Podolski for Germany (vs England), 27th June 2010

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Well, I never thought I'd see the day when I saw a major sporting organising body displayed levels of incompetence to match the likes of FIFA or the FA. It looks as though the RFU, the body governing English rugby union may just about take the biscuit.

Let's take a moment to remember that rugby fans - myself included - like to assume the high ground in any conversation with football fans: the players and the fans are better behaved, the referee is treated with respect and his decisions are final.

John Terry for England (vs Hungary), 30th May 2006

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I listened to a bit of John Terry's press conference today on the news.

It made me wonder why they bothered with them. Seriously, when was the last time that you heard something interesting at a football press conference from a player (or, indeed, from anyone)?

To be fair to Terry, the questions that most people wanted to ask him were related to the racism row that is the subject to a police investigation, so he can hardly be blamed for not wanting to comment on that, and I suppose he was pretty brave to front up at all when he didn't have to.