The Champions League final was over before it began. Going into the game Manchester United were,
for better or for worse, red-hot favourites, with critics pointing to the semi-final dismantling of
an Arsenal team who, like Barce, know only one way to play. To make matters worse for the Catalans,
they were missing three out of their four first-choice defenders and as such, were forced into
incorporating midfielder Yaya Toure and the aging Carlos Puyol in unfamiliar defensive roles.
Betting on football is great. You know the drill...wake up late on a Saturday morning, stroll down
for a cheeky fry-up then spend the next twenty minutes pouring over the Billy Hill Long List
picking your accumulator...it's bliss. Anyway, four Football League players have found themselves
in hot water this week after allegedly betting against their own team, Accrington Stanley, to lose
to Bury at the end of last season.
One of the best things about the internet is being able to make long-lasting friendships with
people on the other side of the world. One of the worst things however is that these
‘friendships' can often morph into sordid sexual role-plays, where young girls are manipulated
into taking their shirts off by drunk, fat football fans.
Those regular readers will undoubtedly be familiar with the ever escalating love saga between
ex-Liverpool nearly-man Jermaine Pennant and slutty topless model Amii Grove (the extra ‘i' is
for ‘interracial'). 2008 saw it peak and trough like a Shakespearean emotional rollercoaster,
with Amii starting the year by kicking the "love rat" to the curb after the not-exactly-intelligent
Pennant decided to cheat on her while being filmed by their house's CCTV cameras.
This week the highs and lows of a Premiership footballer's pampered life takes us to the quaint
Conservative Party haven of Knutsford in Cheshire. Having previously hosted scenes for Spielberg's
Empire of the Sun and George C. Scott's Patton, shoppers were witness to a different kind of scene
altogether recently as squad cars full of police rushed to apprehend two men "of African descent,"
suspected of "casing" a jewelry shop.
Often when approaching real life sex with a girl you have to make a difficult choice between club
loyalty and using a recognised method of contraception; you either wrap your scarf around your
piece in the ultimate show of allegiance, or you bottle it and use an actual condom. Burnley
football fans rejoice however because apparently this troubled times are now well and truly behind
you!
While it might've escaped some peoples' attention, this week it is Carnival in Brazil. For the
uninitiated, this is an excuse for all day binge drinking and ridiculously hot girls to not wear
tops. Concurrent to all of this are huge parades and probably some political nonsense that no-one
else really understands.
While it might've escaped some peoples' attention, this week it is Carnival in
Brazil. For the uninitiated, this is an excuse for all day binge drinking and ridiculously hot
girls to not wear tops. Concurrent to all of this are huge parades and probably some political
nonsense that no-one else really understands.
Travel back in time almost 16 years exactly and jump across the pond to Caeser's Palace in Las
Vegas and you will find yourself at Wrestlemania IX, one of the greatest events in the history of
sports entertainment. Why is this relevant you might justifiably ask? Well it's relevant folks
because Sir Alex Ferguson thinks it's relevant as he has clearly been watching the video over the
last few days for ideas.
Travel back in time almost 16 years exactly and jump across the pond to Caeser's Palace in Las
Vegas and you will find yourself at Wrestlemania IX, one of the greatest events in the history of
sports entertainment. Why is this relevant you might justifiably ask? Well it's relevant folks
because Sir Alex Ferguson thinks it's relevant as he has clearly been watching the video over the
last few days for ideas.
The football world is going increasingly mad. When you go to a game these days you can't stand up,
you can't drink, you can't smoke, and now apparently at Middlesbrough, you can't actually make any
noise. At Saturday's bore draw with Wigan, supporters of the free-falling team were handed out
letters telling them to only cheer when the team scores.
Manchester United are so relaxed these days that, rather than actually make their players train
during the week, they allow them to just get stoned and appear in the occasional programme for
MUTV. While previously this was an egotistical mish-mash of reserve games and masturbatorary player
profiles, MUTV has now evolved into a fully-functional media node, producing its own entertainment
shows with a view to have a film development department up and running by the end of the year.
Manchester United are so relaxed these days that, rather than actually make their players train
during the week, they allow them to just get stoned and appear in the occasional programme for
MUTV. While previously this was an egotistical mish-mash of reserve games and masturbatorary player
profiles, MUTV has now evolved into a fully-functional media node, producing its own entertainment
shows with a view to have a film development department up and running by the end of the year.
There's something just so right about Jermain Defoe and Chantelle Houghton. He is a shameless
reprobate willing to put his dick in literally anything, and she...well, she got her start in
modeling after her mother took some topless pictures of her in a local park. Stars clearly aligned
somewhere because this is truly a match made in a sordid North London motel car park.
The football world is going increasingly mad. When you go to a game these days you can't stand up,
you can't drink, you can't smoke, and now apparently at Middlesbrough, you can't actually make any
noise. At Saturday's bore draw with Wigan, supporters of the free-falling team were handed out
letters telling them to only cheer when the team scores.
