YOU may remember we turned the spotlight on fatty footballers some time ago asking Who Ate All The Pies? Admittedly it's a bit unfair, especially taking into account the extra couple of pounds I've put on since my hey day. Our friends at Mirror.co.uk have been equally unfair with their Mirror.

YOU may remember we turned the spotlight on fatty footballers some time ago asking Who Ate All The Pies? Admittedly it's a bit unfair, especially taking into account the extra couple of pounds I've put on since my hey day. Our friends at Mirror.co.uk have been equally unfair with their Mirror.

LIVERPOOL fans are holding their breath over the signing of Robbie Keane. He's a good player, possibly a very good player. The former Crumlin United (Dublin) striker may even blossom into a world class player alongside Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres. And, there's a strong argument that Torres needs a fleet-footed playmaker snapping at the heels of defenders.

LIVERPOOL fans are holding their breath over the signing of Robbie Keane. He's a good player, possibly a very good player. The former Crumlin United (Dublin) striker may even blossom into a world class player alongside Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres. And, there's a strong argument that Torres needs a fleet-footed playmaker snapping at the heels of defenders.

SERIAL thug Joey Barton slipped out of Strangeways Prison, Manchester, into the arms of Kevin Keegan. Keegan, a decent bloke who believes in forgiveness and redemption, says the Newcastle player deserves a second chance. No. Barton has had plenty of chances to prove himself and he's done just that.

SERIAL thug Joey Barton slipped out of Strangeways Prison, Manchester, into the arms of Kevin Keegan. Keegan, a decent bloke who believes in forgiveness and redemption, says the Newcastle player deserves a second chance. No. Barton has had plenty of chances to prove himself and he's done just that.

STEPHEN Warnock pulled off one of the oldest playground pranks on John Arne Riise - and thanks to YouTube the Norwegian may struggle to live it down.

STEPHEN Warnock pulled off one of the oldest playground pranks on John Arne Riise - and thanks to YouTube the Norwegian may struggle to live it down.

THE Harlem Globetrotters are surely the greatest entertainers in world sport - alongside snooker trickshot king John Virgo and that table tennis guy with mirrors and combs concealed in his bat. I'm being ironic about the last two. This Saturday morning is all about slam dunks, flip shots and dribbling in our house after Jack's visit with his cousins Alice and Michael to the Globetrotters at the Manchester Evening News Arena last night.

THE Harlem Globetrotters are surely the greatest entertainers in world sport - alongside snooker trickshot king John Virgo and that table tennis guy with mirrors and combs concealed in his bat. I'm being ironic about the last two. This Saturday morning is all about slam dunks, flip shots and dribbling in our house after Jack's visit with his cousins Alice and Michael to the Globetrotters at the Manchester Evening News Arena last night.

JACK is following in the footsteps of David Beckham and David James by doing a spot of modelling. Unlike Becks he's not dressing in a skirt (sorry sarong) or, like Jamo, featuring in a grandstand-sized Armani poster on the wall of a building in Milan. Instead, he's posed in his Everton kit for children's illustrator Mary Yoxall-Hannigan who is branching out into the lucrative children's football market.

JACK has followed in the footsteps of David Beckham and David James by doing a spot of modelling. Unlike Becks he didn't dress in a skirt (sorry sarong) or, like Jamo, feature in a grandstand-sized Armani poster on the wall of a building in Milan. Instead, he posed in his Everton kit for children's illustrator Mary Yoxall-Hannigan who is branching out into the lucrative children's football market.

MANCHESTER City get drubbed 8-1 on the final day of the season and have a man (Richard Dunne) sent off. Dunne was the team's fourth red card of the season - only four teams have a worse disciplinary record in this regard (Blackburn, Chelsea, Fulham and Reading). Man City's reward?

MANCHESTER City get drubbed 8-1 on the final day of the season and have a man (Richard Dunne) sent off. Dunne was the team's fourth red card of the season - only four teams have a worse disciplinary record in this regard (Blackburn, Chelsea, Fulham and Reading). Man City's reward?

LIVERPOOLFC.TV are generously offering a free link to their 'Top 10 Liverpool goals of 2007/8.' It's had Jack's nose glued to the computer screen. Without giving too much away, the compilation highlights the pace, control and potency of Senor Torres. I remember speculating in the close season about Torres being another Ian Rush.