... remember: firm and manly ... firm AND manly. If you've read me in any form of media over the
years, you'll know I have no extra love saved up for ESPN aside from my unofficial English uncle,
Ian Darke -- the most earnest man in sports media. No sense rehashing what makes ESPN insufferable,
although it could be argued its a byproduct of the 24/7 news cycle.
It was all just an excuse to see R.R. Drenthe's hair up close, I swear to ya! January transfer
madness came and went in England and it was ... as mild as a game of "Marble Madness." (insert
groan here.) Unless you're a person who spends 99 percent of his waking hours playing "Football
Manager," it's tough to get revved up for David Pizzaro moving on loan from Roma to Manchester
City.
... but he still makes millions and has won both the Euro and World Cup. (Dammit!) Strange dealing,
no, in England with the Premier League in full swing in the midweek as the January transfer window
comes closing down. We'll explore it more on Friday when I have a little more time to blog the
night away.
U.S. 1, Panama 0. First thing's first, there is a special ring of purgatory reserved for an
American soccer blogger/writer with the temerity to poo-poo a result on foreign soil ... even in a
no-stakes friendly. In that regard, let's say a hearty well done for Graham Zusi for being Johnny
on the spot and scoring inside of 11 minutes and the rest of the U.
Smiles mandatory, umlauts optional. "You want it to be one way ... but it's the other way." --
Marlo Stanfield. Back in the spring of 2010, during my epic, streets of Bodymore, Muderland-tinged
World Cup preview, that quote was used to describe a lingering sentiment hanging around certain
corners of the U.
A Flock of Seagulls had better hair than a herd of Swans. "I'm not afraid any more." -- Kevin
McAllister. Is there parity in the (English) Premier League in 2011-12? Should it matter? Do we
care? Do we even want it? Here's some evidence for parity, using the old "Big Four" prism, with
Manchester City replacing Liverpool.
... and I missed the Knicks game, too. Oh Arsene, my Aresene. God bless you. After a thoroughly
forgettable weekend in the Premier League, you gave us the gift that keeps on the giving -- the
ArseneFAIL -- losing 3-2 at Swansea City Sunday. Problem is, this one is hard to laugh about. There
are no referees to yell at or cynical tactics by the opposition to blame.
And ... I'm a ginger, too. It's fitting, isn't that the final two matches during the Premier
League's rock 'em, sock 'em, player fitness be damned, 30-matches over 10 days "Holiday Program"
included Newcastle United smacking Manchester United around the ground formerly known as St. James
Parks, as well as American goalie Tim Howard launching a ball 100 yards, hitting the perfect angle
and
Anything can happen in the WWF, err, EPL. Bar none this was the best weekend of Premier League
results. It began with Manchester United losing at Old Trafford to last-place Blackburn and
finished with Sunderland pulling an absolute shock at the death against first-place Manchester
City. There is so much to mull over and ponder, yet I frankly had zero free time to do it this
weekend and form
In the last couple weeks my friends Jared and Mike -- each fans of the Premier League -- have both
referred to me as an, "expert" in term of my vast soccer knowledge chest. Not sure the level of
sincerity involved in either case, but hey, you take compliments anyway you can get them, even if
they aren't entirely accurate.
It's Boxing Day in the United Kingdom. My gift to the loyal, hardy, salt-of-the-earth readers of
this little blog? A picture of Mario Balotelli. Think that should suffice, considering it's a
holiday period and I really don't feel like sitting in front of my keyboard and trying to form
sentences or come up with lame, strained egg nog jokes.
Mouth-watering affair, eh? Once again we hit the point in the English Premier League season when
the weather gets cold, the pitches get icy and the powers that be decide its best to cram in as
many games as possible hell be damned for the players. We'll get into that a little more later, but
for now it's games .
In short, wrote this long and winding essay on Thursday, woke up and re-read it on Friday at it was
... awful, just a big trainwreck of half-formed ideas, lame tangents and basically a gigantic waste
of your time. So like a chef at a restaurant with a couple Michelin Stars instead of serving you,
dear reader, slop I'm sending it back to the kitchen for a little more time to marinate.
"I am ... the Swede, bro." -- My friend Jared.How does slang involve from basically an inside joke
among friends to part of the cultural lexicon ... or at least to an entry on Urban
Dictionary.com?Without delving too deep into that query -- you probably need somebody like the kids
are listening to like that Little Wayne guy to say .
"Pressure? What pressure?" -- Jose MourinhoThe crisis.The sports phenomenon where a team loses a
game or two and all of a sudden the sky is falling, left is right and everything is wrong with the
world. It's certainly not something exclusive to European club soccer, the New York Yankees deal
with 100s of reporters at EVERY game with the fans ready to punch somebody on the Seven Train after
one
