By Chris Wright
Apparently even Diouf's fearsome new bodyguardcouldn'tsave him from an arse-whuppin'
It's been a slow last couple of days on the footballing front but it's worth all the clock-watching when a story like this comes along.
El-Hadji Diouf has been beaten up by a gang of kids after the Leeds forward was reportedly bundled into the toilets of the "Five" restaurant in Dakar and subsequently pulped for calling them all "poor".
By Chris Wright
Alas, Chesterfield no longer play at Saltergate having moved to the altogether more salubrious environs of the 10,500-capacity Proact (formerly b2net) Stadium across town back in 2010, but their spiritual home will forever be Saltergate the club's slopy-pitched, rickety, rusty home for their first 139 years of existence.
By Chris Wright
If you'll excuse the slightly tenuous use of the word "legend" for a moment, a squad full of Manchester United old boys are currently whipping themselves into shape to take on a selection of equally venerable ex-Real Madrid players in aid of charity at Old Trafford on 2nd June.
By Chris Wright
From an insurance standpoint, he's probably the last Chelsea player we'd trust behind the wheel of a buggy while zipping merrily around and among their expensively-assembled squad at Cobham, but the Brazilian jester somehow got his hands on one yesterday.
He even offered Yossi and Fernando a ride out to the pitch, though the nervous smiles on both their faces suggested the pair instantly regretted accepting a lift from a known loon.
By Chris Wright
Things are up in the air with Benteke at the moment
It seemed like he was all but vowing to stay on a further year at Villa Park to prove himself to be more than a one-season wonder not so very long ago, but today Christian Benteke has apparently told Dutch newspaperNieuwsblad that "if Villaforce me to stay, I won't necessarily accept that.
By Chris Wright
Pies number themselves among the slim cross-section of society who have never seen Soccer AM so we have little-to-no idea who this "Tubes" character is, though from what we can garner he's some kind of binge-drinking crew member/lackey that raps a bit and asks one question and one question only to the various guests on the show every week.
By Alan Duffy
Things are rather quiet at the moment in the footballing ether but here's is a morsel of Teutonic silliness from Hamburg's amateur Oberliga division during a game between Altona 93 and Vier-und Marschlande.
Playing the game on an American football pitch may be a good dual use of the local facilities, but when a shot from one of the Altona 93 players went out of play only to rebound off the American football goal-frame and back into play, things got a tad confused.
By Chris Wright
Obviously photography was still in its infancy back in 1996
John Barnes could be a handy £15,000 better off today had he not thrown away Eric Cantona's shirt after the 1996 FA Cup Final in what he described as a fit of "immense frustration."
Cantona and Barnes swapped shirts shortly after the Frenchman won the trophy for Manchester United with an 85th-minute goal, but the Liverpool midfielder threw the shirt on the floor as soon as he reached the Wembley dressing rooms.
By Chris Wright
Sad news is reaching us that former Manchester United, Leeds and Rochdale centre-half Brian Greenhoff died suddenly today at the age of 60.
Greenhoff made 271 appearances for United between 1970 and 1979, though his most famous was surely in the 2-1 FA Cup Final win over Liverpool in 1977 that saw United nix Liverpool's hopes of completing the treble that year.
By Chris Wright
We appreciate all this new kit is coming a bit thick and fast at the moment so, rather than spread this out over three posts, we've decided to lump Puma's three new boot designs into one, manageable lump of a gallery to hopefully keep any tedium at bay.
Anyway, our buds over at Puma have launched three new versions of their elite boot lines the EvoSpeed, the Powercat and the Kings with smart new colourways just in time for the end of the season.
By Chris Wright
M is for mental case
It's fair to say that madcap film producer/Napoli owner/Alan Sugar's stunt doubleAurelio De Laurentiis is fond of the "the show". Whether he be fleeing from supposedly rigged cup draws on the back of a stranger's moped or unveiling his new signings from underneath rubber lion masks, the man clearly likes to make ahullabaloo about the smallest things.
By Chris Wright
In today's installment of "Chelsea sprogs being diabetes-inducingly cute" which is rapidly becoming a series in its own right on Pies here's L'il Leo Torres (the fruit of Papa Fernando's loins) seeing his commanding surge into the area shut down by wee Damian Cech, who gets down and makes the kind of save his old man has built a career on.
By Chris Wright
'Tis very much the season for kit launches and Manchester City are the latest to parade their wares for next season, traveling Stateside (where they now have major business concerns) to unveil their smart new Nike home strip for 2013/14 ahead of a post-season friendly against Chelsea inSt Louis, Missouri, on Thursday.
By Alan Duffy
Twitter was awash with photos of Jose Mourinho in Chelsea shirt today, after a digital billboard in west London showed the soon-to-be-departed Real Madrid boss in a familiar blue top, along with the hashtag #The2ndComing.
However, fans' excitement at the apparent imminent arrival of the Special One was soon dampened when it was revealed that the advert was nothing more than cheeky little PR stunt by digital media sales folkDaylite LED.
By Chris Wright
"Oi mate, want to start a football club?"
Manchester City are joining forces with the New York Yankees to create a new MLS side, New York City Football Club, which they are hoping to have competing in the MLS by 2015 as the league's 20th franchise.
