Who Ate All the Pies

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July 28, 2017 12:01 UTC
Added:
September 12, 2006 10:06 UTC

RB Leipzig Director Ralf Rangnick Issues Semi-Apology After Saying Iffy Things About Liverpool Target Naby Keita And His ‘Village’

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One of the more tedious transfer yarns of the summer has taken a turn for the sour, after RB Leipzig sporting director Ralf Rangnick let some very dubious comments about Liverpool target Naby Keita slip yesterday.

Discussing Leipzig's reluctance to part with Keita, Rangnick claimed that the club were not only fending off pressure from Liverpool, but also from "a whole village in Guinea" who are, at least in Rangnick's mind, attempting to coerce Keita into chasing the money.

‘One Great Enemy We Must All Endeavour To Fear Not Conquering Is Fear’ – Bray Wanderers Chairman Releases Greatest Club Statement Of All Time

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Carlisle Grounds, home to Bray Wanderers

After it looked touch and go for a while, Bray Wanderers have today proudly announced that that club is financially stable for the time being.

The cash-strapped League of Ireland side had drawn up plans to redevelop their old Carlisle Ground home and use the proceeds to build themselves a new stadium, as well as a top notch football academy facility they insist will "rival the best in the world".

Bench Mark: Czech Side Viktoria Plzen Unveil Brilliant New Novelty ‘Beer Can’ Dugouts (Photos)

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Photo: @fcvitorkaplzen/Twitter

Viktoria Plzen have installed new dugouts at their Doosan Arena stadium and, ordinarily, that probably wouldn't be worth noting.

However, thanks to a new sponsorship deal with Czech beer barons Gambrinus, Plzen's new subs benches have been shaped to look like two enormous cans of lager.

On The Money: Zlatan Ibrahimovic Immortalised On Swedish 1,000 Krona Bank Note (Photo)

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He may be out of a job at the moment, but Zlatan Ibrahimovic is still very much in the money or on the money, as the case may be.

Having already been immortalised in postage stamp form, the Swedish super-duperstar has been further honoured by having his face added to the 1,000 krona bank note.

Kind Of Blue: Arsenal Officially Unveil Their Shiny New 2017/18 Away Kit (Photos)

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Photo: Arsenal FC

With a new home and third strip already 'activated', Arsenal have completed the set by finally unveiling their new 2017/18 away kit.

The strip features a subtle blue gradient with a metallic shimmer and is so tight you'll be able to inspect all your favourite players' internal organs for abnormalities.

Patrick Kluivert’s Nine-Year-Old Son Has Just Signed His First Endorsement Deal With Nike (Photo)

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When Pies' were nine years old, we were far too busy racing our penny farthings and playing hoop-and-stick in the streets to worry about signing endorsement deals with global sportswear conglomerates.

Alas, times have changed, and now we live in a world where Patrick Kluivert's nine-year-old son Shane has a lucrative sponsorship deal with Nike which he announced himself via his very own verified Instagram account.

Pre-Season Classics: Mario Balotelli Tosses It Off With A Backheel Only To Be Immediately Substituted, 2011 (Video)

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Pre-season is a time for experimentation, a time for frivolity, and yet Mario Balotelli famously found himself chastised for both during Man City's meaningless friendly Herbalife World Football Challenge match against LA Galaxy in July of 2011.

Balotelli opened the scoring with an early penalty at the Home Depot Center, then shortly thereafter found himself presented with a routine chance to double both his and City's tally.

Exclusive: Pies In Prague – Hectic CEE Cup Semi-Final Day Ends With Burnley And Everton Emerging Victorious (Photos & Highlights)

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Burnley's youngsters faced a tough semi-final against Turkish opposition (Photo: CEE Cup/Facebook)

Day Four at the CEE Cup was semi-final day, with all four remaining teams having rightfully earned their place at the business end.

The strongest sides in the competition had risen to the top and were now set to do mortal combat – cue excitable 16-bit techno music with the prospect of an all-English final on the cards.

Diego Maradona Announces He’s Very Much In Favour Of Video-Assisted Refereeing Being Used To Prevent Cheating In Football

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The hand that did the damage: Diego Maradona has just been unveiled as the new coach of FC Fujairah of the UAE

Diego Maradona has had his say on video-assisted refereeing (VAR), speaking out as a somewhat unlikely advocate of the controversial new system.

Maradona famously benefited from an absence of such technology at the 1986 World Cup, when he used his divine extremity to plink the ball over Peter Shilton and 'hand' Argentina the lead against England in the quarter-finals.

Mansfield Town CEO Carolyn Radford Launches Bid For Seat On FA Council With Quirky, But Largely Awful Campaign Song (Video)

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Photo: Mansfield Town FC

Mansfield Town chief executive Carolyn Radford has applied to represent the Football League with a seat on the FA Council.

Radford is one of five applicants bidding to land one of two available places on the council, which serves to vote and usher in policy changes within the FA itself.

Dead Ball Specialist: Sinisa Mihajlovic, 48, Casually Scores Freekicks For Fun During Torino Training Session (Video)

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While there were aspects of his game (and personal beliefs) that were perhaps most politely described as 'dubious', Sinisa Mihajlovic was undeniably a grand player in his pomp.

A viciously tenacious defender, the ex-Sampdoria and Lazio star also boasted a mean line in set-piece dispatchery.

Chronic Case Of The Anichebes: Daley Blind Drops Instagram Clanger By Failing To Observe Proper Copy+Paste Etiquette (Photo)

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Daley Blind has become the latest footballer to come a cropper while copy+pasting generic commercial platitudes on his social media accounts.

The Dutch defender shared a photo of himself posing wistfully in Manchester United's new third shirt on Instagram, along with a caption that he failed to fully edit before publishing.

Le Plot Thickens: Monaco-Based Journalist Confirms Club ‘Formally Deny’ Striking Any Deal With Real Madrid For Kylian Mbappe

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Well, well. That's what you get for believing MARCA. Turns out

It would appear that Real Madrid haven't agreed a world-transfer-record-obliterating deal to sign Kylian Mbappe after all, as reported by the Madrid-based newspaper earlier today.

The story has been scotched by a fairly well-placed source, namelyFabien Pigalle a reliable French journalist with the Nice-Matin newspaperwho deemed to be an authoritative voice on all things AS.

Retro Football: Henrik Larsson Gets Celtic Career Off To An Absolute Bloody Stinker, 1997 (Videos)

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Photo: Alamy (via Celtic FC)

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the day Henrik Larsson first pitched up at Celtic Park with a glint in his eye and a head festooned with matted off-beige tendrils.

Celtic paid just £650,000 to purloin the Swedish striker from Feyenoord and, by the time he left for Barcelona in 2004, he'd arguably just about paid for himself.

Reports: Real Madrid To Blow World Transfer Record To Smithereens After Agreeing €180m Deal To Sign Kylian Mbappe From Monaco

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Stand by your beds, this is not a drill. MARCA are going big with the news that Real Madrid are about to shatter the world transfer record to sign Kylian Mbappe.

The Madrid-based paper are claiming that Real have had an eye-watering€180million offer accepted by Monaco "in principle" that's €160million up front, with a further€20million made up in various bonuses.