Crickey—this blog is in worse shape than the Republican Party. Aging. Out of touch. And, of
course, white. I promise there will be an almighty shake-up soon, and the kind of renaissance it
usually takes Harry Redknapp to pull together.
In the meantime, please observe that the Portland Mercury has prepared an excellent rundown of
Portland's current standing in the MLS expansion sweepstakes, complete with the requisite vicious
stabs at the Scum up north.
I think it's fair to say that the Spurs/Liverpool match provided it.
How many times can a side hit the woodwork, rip open the defense only to miss by a fraction, or
generally boss the whole pitch only to find that a comedic goalkeeper somehow turns back the tide?
Only to see an equalizer off the head of its own iconic defender, followed by a final-minute winner
from a Russia guy who was basically just standing there?
We heard a lot about Joe the Plumber in tonight's presidential debate. I was very disappointed that
we didn't hear more about the views and concerns of Chastity the Exotic Dancer, Sierra the Graphic
Designer and Trev, the Construction Worker Who Sells A Little Weed on the Side. Soccer fans will no
doubt agree that America also needs to consider the relative positions of:
Landon, the Neurotic Striker
Jens, the Psychotic and Unpleasant Goalkeeper
Freddie, the Ghanian-Born Man-Child
Frankie, the Guy Who Dances Like a Fuckface Every Time He Scores
Thierry, the Washed-Up Supermodel
Ronny, the Brazilian Who Resembles a Horse, If You Want to be Unkind
Oguchi, the Guy Who Will Fuck You Up
Luca, the CRAZY ITALIAN!
It seems that Major League Soccer—perhaps taking a cue from the McCain campaign and its
strange obsession with beauty queens—will pit seven markets against each other for its next
two expansion slots. Will there be a talent portion to the competition? From a strictly parochial
perspective, the news comes in twos:
1) Portland, in the form of the Portland Timbers, Merritt Paulson and his father, the powerful
Commissar of the People's Industries and the New Central Economic Policy, is on the list, and;
2) Portland would seem not to have a chance in Hades, at least this time around.
Self-promotional tidbits from the dark interior world of Eleven Devils:
The Editorial We recently wrapped up work on a series of short video documentaries, undertaken with
the good people at Good. Theme: "weird sports." You can few the first four outta
six clips in hi-rez grandeur here, but for your convenience, let's embed!
I have a love/hate relationship with Tottenham Hotspur. Naturally, as a fan of another Premier
League team, I'm hono(u)r-bound to loathe them and wish for their eventual relegation to the
Arthurian League. (Which is the coolest league, by the way—what do you make of a circuit that
includes a club called "Old Haberdashers"?
Here's an interesting idea from UEFA: ban debt-saddled clubs from the Champions League. Do they
really have the guts to do it? Not bloody likely, as a pathetic Anglophile (who? me?) might say.
While the CL might be more interesting without Manchester United, Chelsea and Liverpool, it would
also suffer a catastrophic loss of popularity in the more casual parts* of the global football