It's about time The Predictorship weaned itself off the beetroot and tackled some of the pressing football-related matters of the day. Aping Newcastle United's rib-tickling example, this week's report is brought to you courtesy of suffolkscribes.com @ The Predictorship. I know Kedington's finest, the much-maligned Moonerazzi, would heartily approve of the catchy moniker as she [. Click to continue reading...

Awakened by the hammering coming from his neighbor's garden, Nick Watson is up early and thinking that he might have finally found a use for the 24 jars of beetroot that the Chairman bestowed on him as his Secret Santa Christmas present two years ago. Poised with a six-pack of the red toxin in [...] Click to continue reading...

Ringside and the atmosphere is steamy. It's minutes to go and ‘Rocky' Birrell and ‘Riddler' Roberts slip off their silky gowns to the cheers and jeers from of crowd, prompting Buttkiss to leave an urgent message at the feet of the Chairman. Topping the scoring with 8 points and no joker played, Birrell is favourite [. Click to continue reading...

I won't revisit the sorry stats of the week so ably narrated by Matt Wayne, so here's an autumn poem to lift your spirits... ‘Twas gloomy and Predictors woes Did slide and simbre in their ale All tipsy from their highs and lows, Much bemoaned with outrage. "Beware the Jokerwock my son! The smile that's white, the olive thatch Beware the Penguin [. Click to continue reading...

It's Saturday 14th September, 1963 and the telly's on. The lounge at Predictorship HQ is set out for the assembled Predictors to watch the afternoon's match as WBA are first out on the pitch to begin their warm-up. Old Trafford is heaving with fans eager to catch a glimpse of new signing, George Best. Click to continue reading...

It's Saturday 14th September, 1963 and the telly's on. The lounge at Predictorship HQ is set out for the assembled Predictors to watch the afternoon's match as WBA are first out on the pitch to begin their warm-up. Old Trafford is heaving with fans eager to catch a glimpse of new signing, George Best. Click to continue reading...

It's a day for celebration and with the photos safely stashed away, the Roberts emerge into the sunlight. ‘We won't be getting any trouble now, my dear' the Chairman reassures his wife as they stride across the dusty yard to inspect the prisoners. Janet Roberts idly adjusts the curls around her magnificent green beehive as [. Click to continue reading...

A hastily scribbled note on a crumpled list of fixtures was all that remained. * Top score: 10 - Janet Roberts * Total players: 40/43 * Total points scored by 40 predictors: 247 * Average score: 6.17 (almost 3 points lower than last week's 9.05) * Prediction of the Week: Simon Gold & Marek Phillips for Liverpool 4 Burnley [. Click to continue reading...

Following the massive top score of 22 from Roger Taylor this week, the ugly rumours of dirty brown envelopes and insider dealings are once again rife in the seedy world of the Predictorship elite. Yes. Its that time of year again when the Predictorship Country show takes over the fields of Church Langley, and all [. Click to continue reading...

... it started with a kiss. No sooner had Janet Roberts seen her husband's transformation, her fate was already sealed. Fuelled with a passion we can only imagine, she lunged at her beloved's borsch-stained lips and sealed her fate. ... and as in all good musicals at such a tender moment, the orchestra strikes up, [. Click to continue reading...

One glance at this weeks table tells us that the odious rumours were true. As the everyday folk of Church Langley chattered animatedly over their Friday night barbeques and the aroma of cremated sausages filled the air, smoke was rising from a darker place. Nobody heard the grate of metal above the laughter as [. Click to continue reading...

Out of the 09-10 Predictorship blocks faster than a Jamaican in a pair of smokin' Pumas... a streak of blue shoots up the table in a premature sprint for the silverware. Jill Taylor's Dartmoor Rovers plunges through the tape with a mighty 10 points followed closely behind by the fragrant ‘boys in blue' Dave Taylor [. Click to continue reading...

Donning his support tights and plastic court shoes Saleel Sathe takes to the stage to give us his own very special rendition of ‘Memories' as he takes on the mantle of Predictorship Champion 2009. Saleel's really been on the ‘boyle' in the last few weeks (12 points in week 36, 11 points in weeks 37 [. Click to continue reading...

This is no week for lightweights as Predictors worldwide wrestle and tussle their way into the final week of the season. And it couldn't be tighter at the top as Saleel Sathe and Chris Butters square up with 8 points a piece in the penulitmate round, ready for their final showdown. Tricky Tree Alex Iskandar [. Click to continue reading...

... we hand the title of Predictorship Compère of the Month to Cup Chairman, Matt ‘Kermit' White as he pronounces the stats for Week 39 ‘Possibly the most boring week in history'. An unsolicited slur on the valiant efforts of the players maybe, but it's a cue for Norma-no-mates (reeling after landing 2 correct scores) [. Click to continue reading...