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Top five implausible defences Ashley Cole might like to mount
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1. He misread the FA report and thought that they were accusing him of calling them a #BUNCHOFTWATS. 2. #BUNCHOFTWATS actually refers to bun choft wats. It's a perfectly harmless hashtag about bun (a small cake), choft (according to Urban Dictionary, someone who pretends to live inside the internet) and wats (a Cambodian monastery).