What's your fantasy, baby?

Yay! It's the Return of MLS Fantasy Fútbol! Oh, how I adore fantasy fútbol, if for no other reason than it gives me a chance to boss the players around on the computer screen. You know that scene in SpaceBalls where Dark Helmet is playing with his Princess Vespa action figure? Yes, if only I had my own MLS players' action figures, so I could put on little fantasy plays and saying things like, "And now Princess Landon, I have you in my clutches, to have my wicked way with you, the way I want to.