Top 5 MLS signings: July edition

So I'm back. That's your cue to rejoice zealously (or brazenly gnash your teeth, whichever response seems most apropos). New Orleans nearly took my life twice and I shot a Romanian AK-47 at empty beer cans on a ranch in south Texas. 'Merica. With all-star week upon us, figured we'd get a midseason update on this list, and then we'll go back after the MLS Cup and dissect where we ended up.